Hello, Aquafans.
Today I want to talk about an important, pressing issue that affects many of us in our daily lives. While I’m often fighting threats to the entire world (if they originate in the sea), this is a threat to your own personal world.
What I’m talking about, of course, is horseplay around the pool.
Nearly 80 million Americans get unintentionally wet each year as a result of horseplay in and around the pool. All of this is avoidable, though, if we simply treat swimming with the proper, somber attitude.
So please limit your horseplay to playgrounds, malls, oil refineries, and other places safely away from water. Remember, kids, you can’t breathe underwater like your hero, Aquaman.
This is Aquaman, signing off.
Don’t forget: high scaffolding, quarries, toxic waste dumps, junkyards, and other such fun places that are, of course, safely away from water.
Cannonball! 😀
Aquaman, why can’t people just call the ACLU if they get wet? And blame Big Water?
Hey… wait a minute… POOL SAFETEY???>>?
I, Aquafan, I now realize it…
AUQAMAN U R A WUSS!1!!!!!!1
My whole life…waseted :^(
I’m so glad this issue has been addressed as getting splashed is one of my greatest pet peeves!
Big Water.
Bwwahhhahahahahahahah-SNORT!
I cannot breathe underwater, but I can breathe in soup.
Let’s see Aquaman try THAT!
What about embryonic fluid? I can breathe that and it is mostly water.
I’ll never forgive you for lying to me for so many years, Chum! Did you get the package I sent you? It was your favorite pet herring with its head cut off and guts removed, then marinated in pickle juice, apricots, tobasco, and ginger snaps, so it’s TOTALLY RUINED! HAHAHAHA!
This would be pertinate information, if it wasn’t 15 FREEKIN’ DEGREES OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
Consider yourself lucky, GEBIV
It got down to the single digits where I am.
That’s nothing, it’s -25C here, which is about -20ish in whatever it is you yankees use.
84 degrees tomorrow. Time to pull out the sleeveless shirts again. Ah, Arizona.
I saw the most frightening thing on Justice League the other night. They changed Aquaman. In so doing, they tried to un-wussify him. They made him buffer than Superman. They had him cut off his hand and replace it with a harpoon gun.
Then they had him beat the living hell out of the only “superheroes” more worthless than him- the Wonder Twins.
When did Aquaman become a badass?
Hey, Aquachump…why aren’t you off helping save all those Flippers that went tits up at the beach rather than wasting our time on protecting us from ourselves like left wing big government types? Funny post as usual from Fish Sticks, however!
Hey Aquadork…can you take Skooby-Doo in a fight…or can he kick your butt?
Er, eh … noted.