Supposed, some time ago I said I would arbitrate all wars in the blogosphere being Misha’s Secretary of War. I don’t remember – I say lots of things – but basil has taken me up on it. And, since he’s a patron advertiser, I’m taking him seriously. Here’s his declaration:

Mr. Secretary, thank you for the opportunity to address everyone through this forum.
One of the members of the Alliance of Free Blogs has taken issue with my little blog’s search engine rankings for certain phrases. I was greatly shocked and disturbed that Sortapundit took issue with my success regarding these search terms.
Gizoogle
Paris
Hilton’s cell phone number
The
Niggas at DFNCTSC
Strip
clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
Girls
big tit
Free
big tit sites
Jamie Lynn Spears naked
The efforts he described as “the utter destruction of basil” will fail. He has requested assistance in his plan to surpass my little blog in the rankings. However, to date he stands with a single ally: a French skunk. I have been fortunate to have phin’s blog, Bobo Blogger, and GOP and the City publicly support the American side against the Franco-Anglican Axis. Others have offered words of encouragement.
Sortapundit, being a native of a great nation in the United Kingdom,
has many positive attributes, including being a member of the American
Flag League. However, his last response to my offer to end this dispute was
disappointing:

You can take you hogeys, your foot longs, your grinders and subs. You can take your McDonalds, Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Wendys. You can take Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and
Jennifer Lopez, roll them up and smoke them, by Jiminy Joseph.

His using the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill in a speech was stirring, but fruitless in results. This morning, the Ghost of General George S. Patton stirred our forces to battle.
It is my hope that this war will be short-lived and that, at its conclusion, we can go forward together as allies. We look forward to that day. For now, it must be war.
basil

I should probably say something, but, this being a Friday I have off, I’m too lazy to write. Luckily, basil was kind enough to hand me this to say:

There are American soldiers putting their lives on the line across the word in defense of this great country of ours and in pursuit of freedom for the oppressed. There are people devoting their lives to feeding the hungry, healing the sick, and helping the homeless. There are families struggling to stay together as both parents hold down jobs and work overtime to make a better life all the while risking its loss.
With all the important things happening in the world, two little piss-ant blogs want to have a war.
basil’s blog spends most of his time reporting how well he does on Google searches, while Sortapundit begs for money to fill up his car with gas.
Let them have their silly little war. Let, at most, one of them come out of it alive. And, whoever wins, be sure to let me know. You can let me know by filling out a report on the form located at: http://www.dailykos.com/contact
Frank J.

I agree with all that I was told to say, especially where to contact me. Be honorable, ronin.