Hello, Aquafans.
Giuliana Sgrena, Commie Italian reporter, was fired on by Marines on March 4th. She says she was targeted, and we know the Marines and their penchant for targeting journalists. Still, nothing has been concluded in this case and no evil-doers have been brought to justice.
So, are Marines really targeting law-abiding Commie journalists?
This sounds like a job for…
AQUAMAN DISGUISED AS AN ITALIAN!!!
Yes, I swam through the gulf into Iraq where I put on my best Italian disguise and obtained a truck to drive. I then headed to where the incident had occurred. Since there were varying reports saying that the truck was either going 25mph or 100mph, I kept alternating it between the two speeds. Instead of being shot at, though, a Humvee soon pulled up next to me and stopped me.
“What the hell are you doing?” a Marine asked.
“Ima Italinao journaisto justa driving downa the road,” I answered, with my perfect imitation of an Italian, “Are you gonna shoota me?”
“What’s with your shirt?” the Marine asked, “It looks like it was made from skinned goldfish.”
“Maybe ita was,” I answered, “So, you gonna shoota me and stoppa me from reporting?”
“Are you implying we shoot innocent people?” the Marine asked, looking angry. Other Marines soon backed him up. They now looked ready for violence.
“Uh, maybe we cana settle this bya seeing who cana hold his head in a bucket of water the longest.”
When I regained consciousness, I was missing my only fake Italian mustache and was lying in a dumpster in some unknown Middle Eastern town. Well, I guess that proved Marines are violent towards Italian journalists. Score another one for the greatest superhero of all.
This is Aquaman, signing off.
So what you are saying, Aquaman, is that our brave Marines were able to hold their heads in a bucket of water longer than you. What a pitiful excuse for a super hero. God bless the American troops!
Hey hey hey!
Yo, Acqua di Gio-ker, looks like those marines left you with a permanently dislocated NECK! What’s up with that?!?
Death to the infidel.
aquaman, you can’t fool me. I listen to NPR! they said that you should kill all the marines.
putz.
Dear Aqua-paisano
My veal parmesan isn’t turning out right.
I think the problem is, I can’t afford veal. So I’m substituting with goldfi… er, other stuff.
What should I do???
struggling gourmet in Fish, Ga.
Hahaha! Love the mustache.
Ditto on the mustache
Remember, we have the finest trained military in the world. They could see that you were not a Communist but just an ordinary superhero in a bad disquise, so they just had fun with ya instead.
BTW- What do you think of the Sub Mariner movie that’s being made? Are you going to get a walk on?
Dude, with that moustache Aquaman could at best pass for a travelling circus’ Mr. Strongman… of course even Mr. Everydayman could kick Aquaman’s ass.
Do do do – do the Mario-er… Aquaman!
does ‘The Aquaman’ dance, then proceeds to magically get fired for incompetence
Hey Aquaspaz…bet the marines really put a choke chain on you, put a pair of pink woman’s underwear on your head and put you on the bottom of a pyramid of Iraqi’s… Now that’s a picture I’d pay money to see!!!
Good stuff!!! Very Funny!!! Loved the accent!!!
Funny, except that it wasn’t Marines that lit up the Eyeties. Aquaman should know better since the Corps is well known as Soldiers of the Sea.
It was Soldiers from the Fighting 69th, the 69th Infantry Regiment of the New York National Guard, attached to the Third Infantry Division.
Stupid Aquaman.