Hello Everyone, I’m RightWingDuck here to share some news.
There are so many interesting characters in the news lately.
Embattled professor Ward Churchill is now being accused of plagiarism.
Amazing. And the man seemed so genuine.
Let’s see.
He faked his Indian credentials–
Inquiry Board: Are you sure you’re Indian?
Churchill: Of course I am, look at my long hair.
He faked his writing–
Interviewer: Are you sure you’re an author?
Ward: Of course, here’s my book — Das Kapital.
And he faked his humanity–
Co-worker: 3,000 dead at the World Trade Center
Ward: They had it coming.
So, students, remember – it’s okay to write vile, hateful statements about the death of innocents – but the writing must be original.

In Florida, there is talk about taxing toilet paper.
True. A law maker is proposing a 2 cent tax on each roll of toilet paper sold.
That would change the way people talk..
At a business meeting–
“Johnson, I’d like to get your two cents on this.”
“Thank you sir, but I already used the bathroom.”
I heard that Jane Fonda had a new hip movie coming out.
Sorry, I misread that. She’s getting a new hip and has a new movie coming out — two separate things.
That’s bad. She should take better care of herself. Has she tried exercise?
I hope her recovery goes nicely. Surgery is always bad news. And bad news is icky!
On the plus side, she’s made a movie with Jennifer Lopez and J-Lo movies always mean sure hit!!
Speaking of hits–
Two retired NY cops are accused of being Mafia hit men
If you think about it, it was fairly obvious. After every hit they’d say, “Have a nice day.”
They are each charged with 8 murders and two attempted murders. How did the two get away?
Easy–
(Police/Hitman walking up to victim’s car)

“Do you know why I stalked you?”
“No.”
“I’m here to kill you. I’m a hit man.”
“No way. My brother is a hit man in Los Angeles.”
“Okay. I’ll let you off with a warning.”
Yep, being related to a hit man is always helpful.
A police officer is accused of Tasering a guy strapped to a hospital bed..
Don’t these guys know anything. Why didn’t they just wait until he was asleep and just put his hand in a bowl of water?
Am I missing something?
What – was he going to hold it forever?
“Never. You’ll never get me to urinate, man!”
“Would you like another glass of water?”
“No thanks. I’ve had 3 already. Never do you hear me!”
So now this cop is in trouble.
Maybe it’s not all bad. At least the Mafia seems to have openings.
The Michael Jackson trial is still going strong.
Of course, after visiting the hospital for back pains, MJ went to the courthouse yesterday in his pajamas
He made a big mistake. Not only did he wear pajamas — they belonged to the victim!
PJ’s? Do you know what this means? Michael Jackson is a blogger!!
He’s much better today. He’s had his Jesus Juice, along with some Torah Toast with some Moses Marmalade. Yummy.
He’s ready to face the day.
Well, maybe not. News reports speculate that Jacko may be on suicide watch
Close friends were afraid they saw somebody dangling from the balcony — turned out it was just Michael watching over the kids.
Michael is running out of money. It appears that he’s broke.
He’s so broke he might start sharing rent with MacAulay Caulkin
He’s so broke he’s worried about the toilet paper tax.
He’s so broke he might have to start holding his own umbrella.
Of course, if he kept his hands on his own umbrella, he wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.
In other news, the US may be transferring the Guantanamo Bay detainees.
They are tired of being held against their will with no chance of escape.
Starting next week the government will be moving them to Neverland.
Senator Hillary Clinton is saying that there is too much sex on TV
Personally, I’d like to see more sex on TV. Specifically, it would be nice to see some coverage of the UN Rape Scandals. Some of them. Any of them.
You know why she dislikes sex on TV? It keeps giving Bill more crazy ideas!
**
Enjoy your weekend.