The Happy Bunny Song

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I was going to write a post about how much I hate terrorists, but with all the hate & death & killing in the news lately, I thought maybe I should try to write about something cheerful and upbeat, instead. So in the extended entry, I’ve placed

THE HAPPY BUNNY SONG


I wish I were a bunny, with a soft and fuzzy head.
I’d groin-kick all the terrorists, until they fell down dead.
I wish I were a bunny, with a cotton tail of fluff.
Blasting bad guys with my Glock, ‘cuz I don’t take no guff!
I’d tear their guts out with my paws, and wiggle my pink nose.
And pee upon their ankles as I chewed off all their toes.
I’d chop their heads off with an ax, and play and hop around.
And sing my happy little song, upon the blood-soaked ground.
I’d kill and maim and kill again, spread cute and cuddly death.
And giggle at insurgents, as they draw their final breath.
Oh, I’d love to be a bunny, with a fully-loaded gun.
I’d shoot at Eason Jordan – targ’ting journalists is fun!
Then I’d go to Hollywood and frisk around a bit.
And kick the ass of Michael Moore (that worthless, lying s***)
Upon his chubby, smelly head, I’d hop and hop and hop!
Until his skull is well-caved-in, and out his eyes did pop.
I’d love to join the Air Force, and drop a ‘splodey bomb.
Be a stalwart Army officer, or Marine Corps grunt non-com.
And get to slaughter terrorists – oh, that would be divine!
But if I can’t be one of those, a bunny would be fine.

38 Comments

  13. I was going to write some music to this, but then I figured out that it works perfectly to the tune of “The Yellow Rose of Texas”. Strangely enough, Emily Dickinson’s poems also work with the same tune.

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  18. Normally, I severely dislike bunnies (on the same level as Frank dislikes monkeys), but if a bunny were as kick@$$ as the one in your song… man that would just rock!
    Great song.

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  25. I guess you were going for juxtaposition – a fluffy bunny performing merciless acts of violence. Yeah, that’s original. Well, at least his violence had deserving targets.
    I can’t say this is funny.
    A nice dream maybe, or a fantasy, but not funny.
    I’m going to go read Scrappleface…

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  31. OMG! That is so very funny! IO loved reading that. It matches alot of my friends and the way they feel about things but i feel pretty about a lot of stuff. Mostly i like to think about guys!!
    lol!
    Bye!
    Melissa

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  38. I thought this song was gross and discusting. Very creative but, need some improvement. Never thought happy bunny would ever be like that. Nice imagenation. Blllah…wE lOvE hApPy bUnNy (K) *
    M w a h /*/ >Luv Tiiaanaa & Allexx..<–

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