Oh no! No posts! It’s time for…
HEADLINE FUN!!!
“US Envoy Calls for IRA to Disband”
Us Envoy blown up.
“A Hearty Laugh Helps Keep a Healthy Heart”
IMAO now covered by most HMOs.
“Commission Says US Lacks Intel on Iran Arms”
Seen more than enough of their legs, though.
“Bolton regarded warily within the UN”
Kofi more into punk rock.
“Murder ruled out in case of King Tut”
So are we supposed to believe he was gutted, his corpse wrapped in cloth, and then buried by accident?
“Italy Demands Justice from US Over Iraq Death”
Justice to be carried out by Tony Soprano.
“Karameh chosen to return as PM”
Will arrive in AM.
“Pope Makes Third Window Appearance”
“Hey, ever-a-buda looka upa there! It’sa da popa!”
“UN Approves Non-Binding Ban on Human Cloning”
Will mad scientists play along?
Now everyone else play along in the comments.
Off topic, but… What doed IMAO stand for?
“Toddler survives 2 days on syrup, onions”
College kid survives on ramen and ketchup
“Four Hikers Rescued in Tenn. Mountains.”
Each Hiker found in 2.5 pieces.
“Putin Renews Public Beer Drinking Rights”
Russian People vomit with joy.
Jason,
It stands for Fun!
IMAO stands for I M A Little teapot
short and stout
here is my handle
here is my spout
Frank J. is a closet communist. IMAO is just lacking punctuation:
I, Mao…
“Cosby Case Shows Media’s Muckraking Mania”
Awesome Alliteration Always Apperciated.
IMAO stands for NOTHING! they will never let this tyranny go through!
they will fight fight fight! they will run the ball, and when the enemy stops that, then the forward pass!
they are iron men with wooden sticks, ready to face anything that is in the way of freedom and liberty for all!
plus, I think something to do with badgers.
“Scientists seek source of Mount St. Helens blast”
Liquid hot magma ruled out, SMITE laser feared
“Jupiter Acts as Giant Mirror to Sun’s Back-Side Activity”
Perverted peeping-Tom astronomers squeal with glee.
From ABC News:
AOL to Launch Net-Based Phone Service
Still unclear who you’ll call if your Internet connection is down
From ABC News:
Women Bare Breasts in Prince Charles Visit
It’s good to be prince
From ABC News:
Foreigners Vie to Adopt Black U.S. Babies
Mr. Drummond moves overseas
From ABC News:
Ed McMahon Leaves Hospital After Fall
But Before Summer
From ABC News:
Democrats Charge Republicans Stifle Democracy
25,374,691 Iraqis disagree
From CNN:
Huge crocodile finally captured
Eluded authorities by disguising self as huge alligator
“Food poisoning kills 29 children”
Governor Schwarzenegger comments,”I told you so”
From KMGH:
Review of professor’s work near completion
Committee to determine how he made radio from coconuts, but couldn’t repair hole in S.S. Minnow
From ABC News:
Wisc. Hunter Wants Open Season for Cats
Harvey sets another Bad Example
From ABC News:
Are Plants and Trees Intelligent?
Compared to Michael Moore, yes.
“Stocks slide on soaring oil prices.”
Market closes a gooey mess.
Jason, everybody knows it stands for
itched my a$$ off.
From ABC News:
Experts on Serial Killers Laud BTK Case
It’s a very nice case, It’s a FENDI
From ABC News:
Ozzy Congratulates Prince Charles on Hitch
Confused him with Will Smith
From CNN:
What Christina Applegate is doing now
Waiting tables at Hooters
From ABC News:
Teen Sniper No Longer Faces Death Penalty
Justices decline to give reprieve to victims
Ozzy admits plastic surgery…
but denies drug use
From Space.com
Planet Puzzle: Theorists Wrestle with How They’re Built
I like to start with the edge pieces and work my way to the middle
Angry Monkeys Rip Man’s Balls Off!
Frank J says “I told you so!”
From ABC News:
Older Patients Benefit from Obesity Surgery Too
Especially the fat ones
From ABC News:
Arizona Meteorite Crater Mystery Solved
Crater was caused by meteorite, say scientists
From ABC News:
Zoo Celebrates Birth of Flying Squirrel
Will pair it with moose, send to school at Wattsamatta U.
From ABC News:
Pope May Be Back at Vatican by Easter
Looking forward to hiding eggs for College of Cardinals
From ABC News:
Ex-Dentist May Face Charges in Semen Case
Lost dentist’s license after failing oral exam
From WEWS:
Teen Found In ‘Cage’ Wearing Diaper
Same Teen Was Also Found In ‘City On The Edge Of Forever,’ ‘The Trouble With Tribbles,’ and ‘The Tholian Web’
OMG!
Basil, you are killing me! too funny…
From CNN:
U.S. ‘knew agent going to airport’
Rumsfeld corrects: ‘She just thought she was going to the airport’
Mount St. Helens Vents
Complains about idiot boss and a@@hole co-workers.
Defense puts on extensive video show in Michael Jackson trial
Jury unmoved by extended “Thriller” showing.
From ABC News:
Crompton to Acquire Great Lakes Chemical
Paid millions for strange chemical, H2O
http://www.kstp.com/
Tice doesn’t address ticket scalping allegations at news conference…Ward Churchill comments “if any scalping is to be done my people will see to it”…
From BBC:
Egypt opposition paper comes out
Had been in closet for years
Clinton Feels ‘Fine’ Ahead of Surgery
‘Fine’ undecided on pressing charges
Sexy Moans for Mobile Phones
Ring normally when not set to vibrate
Curious pick for U.N. post
Geroge said honored, hungry for banana
Barry Bonds Takes BP, Shags Fly Balls
Fly Balls undecided on pressing charges
Garcia at the double as Liverpool savour Bayer revenge
WTF does this even mean?
Tributes and Sniping on Dan Rather’s Final Day…Tributes scheduled for 8:00PM, Snipe Hunt scheduled for 8:05PM.
Fla. Parents Charged After 17-Year-Old Found Starved In Cage, Wearing Diaper…”Shut Up or I’ll Nail Your Other Foot To The Floor” Defense Strategy hinted at by family lawyer…
From BBC:
Sheep killed as truck overturns
Parents of joy-riding sheep blame society
“Bolton regarded warily within the UN”
Bono considered for president of World Bank.
From Foxnews.com
Crude briefly tops $55 a barrel-
No mention as to what Rude and Socially Unacceptable will go for per barrel.
From MSN:
“Electric dog coats may offer protection for pets”
No more annoying petting from owners.
Basil – with all those funny posts, maybe Frank should have you doing the Headline Fun as a regular feature.
“Commission Says US Lacks Intel on Iran Arms”
Can only afford AMD wrist computers
Cat Shoots Owner With 9mm Handgun
From fox news:
Official: Khan Acted Alone
Crew of SS Botany Bay not charged.
Charles.
Gates Talks Up the Microsoft Platform of the Future
Operating system will drive flying car, eat food pills for supper.
Bush Administration Advises Israel to Be Quiet on Lebanese Politics
If Israel fails to take this advice, the Administration is prepared to tell Israel to “talk to the fist, ’cause the hand is pissed!”.
Judge Issues Warrant for Michael Jackson’s Arrest
80’s hair band, bereft of a hit single since 1990’s “Cherry Pie”, forced to work as bounty hunters.
Mount St. Helens: This time, its bark was worse than its bite
Obedience training seems to be paying off, says Park Ranger
Police Still Searching for Sexual Predator
Sting, Stewart Copeland, and Andy Summer determined to complete their sci-fi porn collection.
Monkeys like porn too
Mmmm monkey porn…
It seems as if basil was prepared for headline fun.