“We announce the new pope, Pope Benedict XVI,” said a cardinal.
The pope stepped forward, wearing his pope hat and holding his pope staff.
“How do you react to charges that you are a hardliner?” asked a reporter.
“Pope Power!” the pope shouted as he raised his staff. Light shot up from the beam into the sky. All was silent for a few moments, and then a giant beam shout down from the heavens blowing up the press corp.
“I like this new pope,” Bush said as he watched the T.V., “Hopefully we can work with him.”
“What do I care?” Rumsfeld growled, “I’m not Catholic! I never liked Christians with all their ‘love’ and ‘peace.’ Me, I worship Ares, god of war. Oh, great Ares, what do you command of me?”
Chomps barked in response.
“It shall be done!” Rumsfeld swore.
Tom DeLay ran into the room. “The Democrats and the press are out to get me!” he cried.
“What are they doing?” Bush asked.
“They keep talking about how I hire all my relatives, how I take gifts and bribes from lobbyists, how I do favors for the mafia, and how I make my interns rob liquor stores.”
“But every politician does that!” Bush yelled angrily.
“Just bash the Democrats heads in with rocks,” Rumsfeld suggested.
“Last time I did that, the press was extra mean to me,” DeLay whined.
“We need a more thought out, diplomatic solution,” Bush said, “Let’s trick the Democrat leadership into a rocket and fire it into the sun. To NASA!”
“It was very expensive to make a rocket with enough fuel capacity to launch that many people into space on a course to the sun,” the NASA director complained, “Plus, getting a big sign that said, ‘Welcome Democrats to Meeting About How to Use Represenative Tom DeLay as a Wedge Issue’ from Kinkos wasn’t cheap. If you could have come up with a sign with fewer words in it, you could have saved NASA some money.”
Bush slapped the director. “I control the money; I do what I wan’!”
“Quiet; the Democrats are coming!” DeLay called out, and everyone hid behind some shrubbery.
“Well, here we are at the meeting!” said one Democrat, “I’m sure by constantly attacking Tom DeLay we can get back into power!”
“Let’s continue this discussion in the meeting room that strangely looks like a rocket,” stated another Democrat.
Once they all entered the rocket, Bush gave the signal. The hatch to the rocket then closed and it launched up into the air. “Have fun in the sun, ya bastards!” DeLay yelled at it.
“That’s tell’n ’em!” Bush laughed. He then noticed he was surrounded by the press.
“Did you just launch the Democratic leadership into the sun?” one reporter asked.
“No, that’s crazy,” Bush answered, “but, if you head into the press room, I’ll answer all your questions and more. Just head along, and I’ll be in soon after.”
“Fine,” the press said grudgingly as they headed for the press room, though one remarked, “Doesn’t this sorta look like a rocket?”
Hahaha! I love it.
Pope Power! Oh yeah!
What happens in a fight between Aquaman and the Pope?
Can Pope Power drain the seas?
..and then , if anyone asks if he shot both the Dem leadership AND the press into the sun, he can just pretend he doesnt even know who theyre talking about.. ” What ? There are Democrats in Congress ? You dont say… Are you sure they didnt just decide to start a new Liberal Congress of their own on the sun and flew there to meet for their first session ?” We know this ruse works since its part of the plan to Nuke the Moon.
Excellent with fingers pursed together
It’s Tom DeLay, not Delay.
Sorry – pet peeve of mine.
But “DeLay” could have something to do with potato chips, while “delay” generally means my job will suck even worse tomorrow.
Great stuff, Frank! Between Pope Power and Chomps the Democrats and the Press are Done!!!
Actually, I have long dreamt of sponsoring some big huge ultra left wing event, like a special Earth day celebration at gay day is Disney Land with Barbra Streisand singing to raise consciousness for peace… get the whole thing coordinated and have a million of the smelliest hippies in the crowd and every important liberal leader in the VIP boxes…
and then carpet bomb it.
would that be wrong?
I’ll bet Carl Rove was behind this whole thing and that Dan Rather has proof… Has anyone asked Dan…Dan? Dan?
Undercover Hippie: my guess is Pope Power would part the sea, thereby keeping Aquaman separated from his fishy brethren. On the other hand, Pope Power might possibly multiply those fish until they filled the sea and crushed Aquaman under their weight. Either way, we Catholics would win.
FrankJ,
Glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read “Have fun in the sun, ya bastards!” Delay yelled at it.” That was just too funny. Glad to have you back at the funny now that there’s a new pope! I knew you were holding out for something……although……we still don’t know what exactly that is.
“…I do what I wan’!”
I hope W is getting more of his policy ideas from Cartman on South Park.
What a beautiful, beautiful dream. Sigh.
A SHRUBBERY!!! (Dramatic chord)