Happy Friday, Ladies and Gentlement!!
It’s time for that special time – that wonderful time – that time when I, Dr. RightWingDuck, Professor Demeritus from Sue Doe’s School of Psychiatry & Grill, answer the questions that are on your mind.
The doctor is in. Do you have questions about life? Relationships? Family? Work?
I can help*
Leave question in comments. Answers should be up by 12:00 PST.
*Disclaimer. Help is neither possible nor probable. All questions and answers become part of the IMAO help forum – your soul too. If the answer doesn’t satisfy you, please consult a magic 8 ball. Dr. Duck is a certified hot dog vendor in Los Angeles with expired licenses in over 12 cities. All names wil stay the same to shame those with really silly problems. Pictures availabe later. Don’t drink and drive. Buckle up for safety.
First…
My Girlfriend is going to China for 16 days how can i prevent her from turning into a communist?
What is the yellow and white stuff in bird poop?
Why don’t hippies bathe like you and I?
Who built Mr. and Mrs. Howell’s house on Gilligan’s Island? Where did they get all the cool household stuff?
Was George Galloway abused as a child, and all his shinanigans now-a-days (such as his speech yesterday and his oil-for-food involvement) are a result of Post-Tramatic-Stress-Disorder or something like that?
My stylish new sunglasses have been missing for ever a week, should I keep looking for the only glimmer of coolness I’ve ever known OR call off the search, give up hope and go back to wearing my old Ray-ban Aviators from 1986 which my wife says make me look dorky?
Who was the second gunman?
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 8 and hot dog buns come in packages of 12?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Should I get a haircut this weekend or wait another week?
Why isn’t the government researching the long-term health effects of reading Blogs/Forums such as KOS and DU?
Is the sheep suicide a protest against the attacks in London or continued American occupation in Iraq?
If you get a side salad without an entree, can it truly be a side salad? There’s nothing for it to be alongside, right?
How many British does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many French?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Why does Helen Thomas have both a woman’s and a man’s name? Is she bisexual? Does she remind you of a rhinoceros?
Did you go to the same school as Dr. Phat Tony?
Do you go to the same psychiatrist as Dr. Phat Tony.
I seem obessed with killing dirty-hippies and evil commies; is this bad?
Thank you in advance, Dr. Duck.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck,
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
What are the chances that Ann Coulter will be come a SCOTUS member?
I just killed a hobo, where should I hide the body?
I have to present a project to my boss’s boss later today, and I fear it will be boring. What can I do to make it more exciting?
A city close to my hometown is infested with hippies, and they’re starting to migrate south towards my home.
What do you recommend for hippie control and disposal, oh great Dr. Duck?
There’s a girl that I really, really like yet she never pays me the time of day.
How do I make her notice me?
Why a duck?
O say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light,What so proudly we hail’d at the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro’ the perilous fight,O’er the ramparts we watch’d, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro’ the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
Is Islam a gutter religion, or a mental disorder?
Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?
LOL!
You people are hilarious! I just love this site
What is your name?
What is your quest?
What… is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
To go along with Steve L; Who wrote the book of love?
If who’s on first, then what’s on second?
If I make a silly face and some one hits me on the back, will it really get stuck that way?
“LOL!
You people are hilarious! I just love this site
Posted by Batfink at July 8, 2005 11:33 AM ”
THAT’S NOT A QUESTION!!!
Are we realy who we think we are, or are we only figaments of someones immagination?
Is that a Question Patriot?
If patrick, who posted a comment on Scott’s Post “London Muslims Say: Bombing=Blair conspiracy” yesterday, were on fire would anybody here pee on him to put out the fire?
Why are Liberals so closed-minded?
“LOL!
You people are hilarious! I just love this site
Posted by Batfink at July 8, 2005 11:33 AM ”
THAT’S NOT A QUESTION!!!
Posted by Patriot Xeno at July 8, 2005 11:42 AM
Neither is that … is it?
(NOTE the question mark!)
Touche, Evan and Steve…OR IS IT???
Is there enough time to answer all these questions before the deadline?
I have fantasies of flying large, liquified deviled ham laden, spray equiped aircraft over muslim infested areas, and pulling the trigger (as it were) whilst flying perfectly parallel patterns of pork product defilement.
Am I sick?
I once put pig fat in visiting Arab dignitaries’ food, at the UN consulate. Should I email them to let them know they are ALL going to Hell?