Continue reading ‘don’t ask for whom the bell tolls . . .’ »
Archive of entries posted on 12th August 2005
A Story, Bit-by-Bit
Superego: Part 10 – Diane the Detective
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I don’t get attached to my weapons like some people, but I hate wasting them. Still, it seemed prudent to hit the disintegration sequence on the other two I carried. When the authorities came, there was just me with my wounded leg and my one gun lying next to me.
“How are you doing?” asked one cop.
“Stopped the bleeding.” I looked to my gun. “I assume you want to take that.”
“Yeah,” answered one as he picked up the gun, “Medical will be with you soon; there are a number of others in greater need. Seems pretty clear cut what happened here, but you’ll have to answer some questions… especially why you had the gun. That was a great thing you did, though… and some great shooting.”
I cradled my wounded leg acting like it hurt more than it did. “Got lucky.” Looked to some of the “innocent” people being put in body bags. “Others not so lucky.” Nice addition, I have to say so myself.
“Any chance you could answer questions now?” asked a woman. Standing above me was a blond, thirty-something, plain-clothes detective. No ring.
Hello, human female.
Well, she wasn’t some knockout looks-wise, but the way she held herself – the authority to it – very strong and I guess a turn on to me. She smiled at me – I was the hero – but the suspicion was obvious in her eyes. I can assess people quick, and this was a smart woman – hopefully not smart enough to get herself killed by me.
“I’m Detective Thompson. Our main concern is these terrorists and possible further attacks, so I’d like to get the issue of your involvement out of the way as quickly as possible.”
“Can you make sure my name and picture don’t get in the news? I don’t want to sound wussy, but I’d rather not have all the CyberIslamists freaks targeting me while I’m on vacation.”
“We’re not letting anyone know you’re the one you ended the attack,” Detective Thompson assured me. “So why did you have the gun?”
“I’m a police officer from a planet called Rikar.” The planet was in a galaxy red-shifting away near the speed of light; good luck contacting it. “I carry out of habit, and, to be honest, I didn’t really look into the gun laws here.”
“How are things on Rikar?”
“Pretty violent.” True, if I was thinking of the right planet. “Not my first gun fight or bullet wound.” Certainly true. “Decided to take a break from it all and see the universe. Was hoping I could find some things to help us back on Rikar. Ended up here for the conference.”
“Not to burst your bubble, but I don’t think you’ll find much useful from that.” She had a wry smile.
“Maybe not.” I think I liked her. Now what would someone be concerned about now? “So, am I in trouble?”
“You’re a hero – I don’t think the prosecutors are going to want to pursue the minor infraction of illegal possession of small arms. I need to do my job, though.”
“I understand.” Doing my job is what I’m all about.
A medical guy came up to me – a green one. I’m not one of those who only trust human doctors, though. “We can look at that leg now. We’ll get you to the hospital and should be able to patch you up quick.”
“Sorry your vacation got ruined,” Detective Thompson told me, patting me on the shoulder, “Lucky for everyone you were here, though. From the sounds of it, you saved a lot of lives.”
I was placed on a gurney. “Small compensation when you see people gunned down like that.” I’m good at this.
“I’ll check on you at the hospital.”
I used my affable smile. “Good; I would enjoy the company.” No I wouldn’t, but a plan was forming. “What’s your name again?”
She smiled. Didn’t look forced at all. “Detective Diane Thompson.”
I smiled back – also not forced. Hope it didn’t look too sinister, though.
NEXT
Friday Catblogging comes to IMAO
Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d spread the joy of humor-free, apolitical Friday Catblogging to IMAO.
Live, via webcam, Nardo hunts a toy frog:
If you’re not sure how this tragic scene pertains to IMAO, since IMAO is famous for that “political humor” thing. If you must have some semblance of politics or humor in everything you read here, just assume it’s a frog that tragically lost a brave and heroic tadpole in Iraq, got a personal audience with President Bush after which she considered him sincere and sorry and feels pain for their loss, and then a year later was brainwashed by Michael Moore and other professional hardcore leftists into wailing like a banshee outside the president’s ranch in Crawford while blogging about meeting Viggo Mortensen on Huffington’s virtual watercooler full of Moonbat Juice.
Nardo represents… um… Karl Rove. But without Karl’s malicious evil bloodthirsty animal cunning and killer instincts.
(For more animal goodness, try the Friday Ark)
Looking Left
I like Kevin Drum. I don’t think he likes me, though. Anyhoo, while he sometimes leans into moonbat territory, he actually has a lot of intelligent analysis of issues. When he talks about problems in Iraq, he actually seems like he cares and wants us to succeed instead of just rooting for failure. If liberals like him dominated more than Kos and comrades, the Democrats might have a chance of getting a real strategy (and, despite my partisanship, I understand a strong, sane opposition is essential to democracy). The problem is the extremists on the left are just too extreme these days to listen, and the liberals in his comments constantly harp on him. Look at this post where he just notes the current obsession with Cindy Sheehan at HuffPo and see the response in the comments.
Question of the Day: What will it take to get the extreme side of the Democratic party to act in a non-self-destructive way?
Now let’s head to Kos. He has this excerpt:
Staff Sgt. Jason Rivera, 26, a Marine recruiter in Pittsburgh, went to the home of a high school student who had expressed interest in joining the Marine Reserve to talk to his parents. It was a large home in a well-to-do suburb north of the city. Two American flags adorned the yard. The prospect’s mom greeted him wearing an American flag T-shirt. “I want you to know we support you,” she gushed.
Rivera soon reached the limits of her support.
“Military service isn’t for our son. It isn’t for our kind of people,” she told him.
I have to agree with him: that is a bit disturbing. I then followed his link to Atrios to the link to the full article which was quite enlightening. Apparently, recruiters are having trouble because of opposition from parents. Of course, most parents would be worried about their children going to war, but the left have been doing its best to make Iraq look like a death trap (if it were, my brother wouldn’t be so bored). The article even talks about how some left-wing groups are trying to get parents to do all they can to block recruiters. The article even mentions liberals disrupting recruiters at my alma mater.
So, if I get this straight, there are lefties out there yelling about how people aren’t signing up their sons for the war, and then also trying to help parents prevent their children from being recruited.
Of course, it isn’t the parents’ choice for anyone 18 or older, and that seems to be lost on a lot of people. When some talk about parents losing children in Iraq, they make it seem like Rumsfeld ripped five-years-old away from parents to send them to war. Instead, they are adults making their own choices. While a grieving mother like Cindy Sheehan deserves everyone’s sympathy, what’s more important is what Casey Sheehan thought of his sacrifice.
Just my two cents as I try to hold the front on this war.
-Frank J., Private First Class of the 101st Fighting Keyboardists
Two Bits for Two Dollars
Since all of us at IMAO are spread across the country (except for me and SarahK, of course) organizing our weekly podcasts are quite a feat. In our latest one, a couple bits accidentally got lost in the shuffle.
Since a number of us bought equipment or still need to buy recording equipment, we’ve decided to do a fundraiser with two of these sketches. One’s a World of Knowledge with me Frank J. talking about oil drilling and the other is the famous samurai Miyamato Musashi giving energy saving tips. They’re in CD quality mp3s (1MB each), are professionally produced by Scott McCollum (music, sound effects, etc.), and I’ll send them to you for the price of $2.00.
Just click the PayPal button up in the left corner (“Make a Donation”), send us two bucks, and the audio bits will be on their way via e-mail. All proceeds will go to better audio equipment for the IMAO podcasts (and, well, PayPal – they always take their cut).
Be honorable, ronin.
The God of Jihad… I mean War
Let’s not beat around the bush. (or is it Bush?) The United States is, without a doubt, occupying the soil of far-distant lands. We were not invited there. Those occupying it have been there since 2003, without a United Nations mandate, roaming around in never-ending patrols that are frequently futile and non-productive.
And yet, our government continues to send more and more resources to maintain the occupation of that soil, hopefully to establish a permanent presence to plunder the natural resources for our own enrichment.
Worst of all, after an initial flurry of reports and wall-to-wall breathless news coverage, you pretty much don’t hear the truth about what’s going on there unless it’s bad news. Or good news, depending on your political view and aspirations for 2006 and 2008.
Unless the Next Season of Smallville Comes Out on DVD Soon, It’s Time to Bring Our Troops Home
Got a call this morning from my older brother in Iraq, Joe foo’ the Marine, and he wasn’t his usual cheery self. From the previous times I talked to him, he made it sounds like Fallujah was a theme park (but with explosions), but now he seemed weary of it.
“What’s the matter, Joe? Stick your hand into a pile of goo that used to be your best friend’s face?”
“No. I’m just bored.”
“Don’t you get attacked all the time?”
“Eh.”
“So what’s changed?”
“Well… there’s nothing left to watch. I’ve seen all the DVDs out there and there’s nothing left to do.”
I started naming off movies followed by all sorts of TV series on DVD that I could think of, and, sure enough, he had watched them all.
“Frank, there’s nothing left to watch! I wanna go home now.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. There seemed to be only one appropriate response. “Chickenhawk!”
“Hey! That’s not true.”
“Sure, Joe, you were all for liberating Iraq in the beginning, but, as soon as you watched every DVD, it’s suddenly ‘Let’s pack up and go home.'”
“It’s not like I think we should all leave here… just those of us with nothing left to watch.”
“What about the USO shows?”
“They’re all country music and comedians I haven’t heard of. BTW, that 24 show is exciting. You never know who is going to turn up evil.”
“Yeah yeah. Don’t you like any country music? I just went to a Tobey Keith concert last weekend, and that was awesome!”
Joe answered in a way that seemed to imply he had heard far too much Tobey Keith while in Iraq.
“Anyway, how are things going in Iraq, war-wise?” I asked.
“I dunno.”
“Are there more or less attacks now?”
“I dunno. We get mortar fire when I’m at the forward base, and they’re always yelling, ‘Hit the decks!’ but I don’t want to spill my tater-tots all over the floor. Oh, have you seen Aqua Teen Hunger Force? That show is funny!”
So Joe had begun to count his days; the way he described things, Fallujah was as boring as North Dakota with just a bit more people trying to shell you. He only has the rest of this month and then September to get through before heading back to exciting Boise, though.
Despite finding out how boring war is when you run out of things to watch, he’s still hyped about going into Officer Training School and becoming a full-time Marine. Also, he really wants an HDTV and a 5.1 surround sound setup back at his home.
“But haven’t you just said you already watched everything?”
“But not in progressive scan with 5.1!”
HDTV with 5.1 surround sound for our returning Marines – does that sound like a good charity?
Anyhoo, Godspeed, Joe foo’.