In honor of today (August 6th) being the 60th anniversary of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima, I thought I’d celebrate by posting some completely useless – and probably untrue – bits of trivia about the delightful element that makes pretty mushroom clouds possible. So here are some:

Natural uranium ore isn’t concentrated enough to use in weapons, and must first be enriched – usually by stealing from minorities and the working poor.
The original motto of the United States was “E Pluribus Uranium”, a Latin phrase meaning, “We will nuke you many times”.
Uranium was discovered by French scientists Pierre and Marie Curie in 1898, who immediately surrendered in the face of its radioactive might.
John Bolton’s moustache is made of uranium – just another reason to FEAR THE STACHE!
Saddam Hussein’s moustache is NOT made of uranium – reports by Joe Wilson to the contrary notwithstanding.
Uranium is highly unstable and will decay rapidly if it doesn’t brush its teeth twice daily.
Since 1945, uranium has consistently voted Republican to avoid being drafted to fight in another foreign war.
Due to its unique atomic structure, uranium possesses the power of flight when placed at the tip of a missile.
Using complex laboratory procedures, uranium can be taught to obey simple commands like “speak” and “roll over”.
The word “uranium” comes from the Japanese word “Yu-hae-te-wum” which means “BOOM!”
Although poisonous in large doses, small amounts of uranium are actually nutritious, and can be found in such popular cereals as “Count Atomica” and “Nuke-lee-O’s”
The chemical symbol for uranium is “U”, which may explain why Joe Wilson was recently spotted sneaking around the set of Sesame Street.
“Uranium” is the only word in the English language which – if used in a Google Images search – will NOT return pictures of naked women.
“SarahK” won’t either, but that’s not technically a word.
Admit it. You just Google Image searched “SarahK” to see if I was right, didn’t you?
You are SO going to hell for that.
In a battle between Aquaman and uranium, Aquaman would explode like a hamster in a microwave.
If uranium bites you, you will develop super powers. Use these only for good, lest you explode like Aquaman.
Despite uranium being hunted to near extinction, PeTA refuses to fight for uranium protection legislation.
This may be because uranium is bright and shiny instead of cute and furry, but this doesn’t explain why PeTA annually slaughters thousands of innocent dogs.
Unless Glenn Reynolds secretly works for PeTA…
Contrary to popular myth, President Bush does NOT pronounce the word “uranium” as “u-nar-i-um”.

HAPPY BOOM DAY, EVERYONE!