A Carnival Of Comedy Double Cross?

Was there treachery involved in the no IMAO linkage to this week’s Carnival?
No, I (being the only IMAO blogger mentally capable of actually linking to the carnival) was just out of action while Bob posted the XX th Carnival Of Comedy.
Hey two X’s, that IS a double cross! Nah, it’s just the number 20 in a popular dead language. Phoenecian I think.

About Glenn Reynolds

(A Filthy Lie)
If you’re one of the few people that still goes to Instapundit, you’ve probably noticed how pathetic his “about me” post is. Sure, he’s got a tiny blurb about “I wrote this & that wonderfully boring piece of tripe, gaze upon my works ye mighty and despair”, but he really needs something more… personal. Something to make him seem more human.
Or less INhuman, as the case may be.
So I thought I’d do my part to help the old guy out – since he finally linked the podcast – and recommend some biographical tidbits that he ought to share.


ABOUT GLENN REYNOLDS
* Glenn got to be the top blogger in the Ecosystem through a series of carefully targeted assassinations, which explains why you never hear about JimmyHoffa.com anymore.
* Glenn invented reusable toilet paper, which, for some reason, never really caught on.
* Except in France.
* Like most bloggers, Glenn composes all his posts longhand using a penguin-quill pen, puppy blood, and hobo-skin parchment.
* Glenn’s owns an ’88 Yugo with license plate PPBLNDR
* Glenn’s incredibly thick geek-glasses were originally a gift from a fat kid who used them to start campfires while stranded on an island with a group of feral boys.
* Glenn’s day job is with the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.
* Glenn’s first web page was actually a Judy Garland fan site.
* It was later sold to Andrew Sullivan for an undisclosed sum.
* According to Glenn, baby seals “taste just like chicken”
* Glenn owns 7 shirts, 7 ties, 7 pairs of pants, 7 pairs of socks, 7 pairs of underwear, 7 sports coats, and 7 pairs of shoes, all exactly the same. It saves him the trouble of having to decide what to wear on any given day.
* Unfortunately, he keeps grabbing the same set of clothes, much to the dismay of those who have to work with him on Fridays.
* Somewhere a portrait of Glenn is magically growing increasingly old and ugly.
* Glenn owns a very popular chain of fast food joints in Tennessee called “EvilBurger”
* People say the burgers “taste just like chicken.”


If you know any of any important biographical tidbits that I’ve missed, you can drop them in the comments.

A Story, Bit-by-Bit
Superego: Part 31 – Saying Hello

BEGINNING OF STORY
PREVIOUS (PART 30)


“That’s a lovely scent you’re wearing, Diane,” I said as I peered through my binoculars at the guards in front of the villa Senator Gredler was staying at.
She was looking at the same with her binoculars. “Same as all the other times you’ve been around me.”
“No, there’s something different. I smell…” I paused to sniff a bit. “Gun oil… gun powder.”
“Was at the range this morning and I have a gun powder based gun as backup. Cleaned it before I came to pick you up.”
“Revolver?”
“Yes.”
“Good choice.” The jacket was hanging off one of the guards such that I could see the handle of the weapon he was carrying. “See that. See the gun on that one guard?”
“I see just a little of it. What about it, Rico?”
“You can tell from the marking that it’s a FR-76 Blaster. Quality firearms made on Sindel 7… a planet pretty much owned by the Randatti. Almost no one other than Randatti thugs can get their hands on such weaponry.”
She set down her binoculars. “When you’d become the expert on the criminal syndicates?”
I put away my binoculars and smiled at her. “Been doing some reading. Those are Randatti thugs; no doubt about it.”
“I said Gredler was dirty… but how does this help us catch the assassin?”
“It’s just all parts of the puzzle.” I looked around at the little forest area we were hiding in. The sun peeked through the green leaves. “It’s really a nice day, isn’t it?”
“Rico, do you know how much trouble I could get in if Morrigan tells the Chief what I’m up to? And I have this crazy feeling she might be a bit vengeful right now. I’m not supposed to get anywhere near Senator Gredler… and this might constitute illegal surveillance.”
“Cold feet?”
“No. I’m saying I need a better reason for doing this. I’m not going to be able to arrest the Senator because you think you saw a suspicious gun. As for the killer, do you really expect we’ll just run into him out here?”
“Possibly, but I don’t feel like waiting.” I stood up. “Let’s go talk to those guards.”
I started heading back down to the road to walk towards the entrance to the villa, Diane grudgingly following. “And what’s the point of this?”
I chuckled. “I think it’s what the killer would do.”
“They’re not going to want to talk to us… and I’m not going to risk my badge right now to force it.”
“I think they’ll want to talk to us.”
The guards eyed us very threateningly as we approached. One was human, the other was some enormous alien with a face like a bulldog.
“I’m Detective Thompson,” Diane said as she showed her badge, “and…”
The guards ignored her and stared at me. “YOU!” the large one shouted, beginning to reach for his gun.
I smiled, baring all my teeth. “Me.”
NEXT

? and the “laws of thermal dynamics”

Frank J and the rest of IMAO have been attacked yet again in the forums at Podcast Alley.com for daring to be both conservative and funny. The very thought that the Christian fundamentalist fascist Nazi homophobe racist he-man women haters at IMAO are funnier than most has the left acting holier than thou.
The latest threat to the self-righteous political left from the funny that is IMAO came when a new podcaster asked for feedback on podcasts that are relatively short in length–only 90 secs long as apposed to many podcasts that can be an excruciatingly boring 90 minutes.
After several of the unfunny lefties told the new podcaster that they liked podcasts that are an hour or more, IMAO posted this response:
It depends on the audience your potential clients are hoping to reach, Mr. Bischke. To illustrate this point, please review this totally scientific demographic breakdown of podcast listeners worldwide:
Most likely to download podcasts of 5-30 minutes in length:
-Young adult males (ages 13-24)
-Employed males with high school education or better (ages 18-45)
-Employed females with college degrees (ages 25-“how old do you think I am?”)
Most likely to download podcasts of 30-60 minutes in length:
-Males aged 21-34 with a high school diploma or GED
-Females aged 18-23 with recording contracts through Sony Records
-Males/Females aged 25-54 who threw away their vote on Ralph Nader… twice
-Collectors of comic books and/or assorted sci-fi paraphenalia
-Survivors of a lightning strike
-Belgians
Most likely to download podcasts 60+ minutes in length:
-Teenage boys with no girlfriends
-Serial killers
-Drug addicts
-Hardcore fans of “Fresh Air” on NPR
-Unemployed IT support staff workers
-Unemployed independent filmmakers
-Unemployed talentless radio hosts
-Musicians
-Drummers
-Other podcasters who produce shows 60+ minutes in length
I hope this information helps you make a decision and remember to check out:
The IMAO Podcast
“If you listen to only one podcast this year, it’s probably because you still have dial-up!”
WEB: http://www.imaopodcast.com
E-MAIL: feedback@imaopodcast.com

Read on to see the pathetic response and find out how you can participate on this debate…

Continue reading ‘? and the “laws of thermal dynamics”’ »

Friday Catblogging

Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d spread the joy of humor-free, apolitical Friday Catblogging to IMAO.
Today, it’s Nardo the Killer Orangeboy leaping for a crawdad tail:


If you’re not sure how this absurd scene pertains to IMAO, since IMAO is famous for that “political humor” thing, it doesn’t. If you must have some semblance of politics or humor in everything you read here, just assume that Nardo is… um…
Help me out here. Make your suggestions in the comments how this scene is, in fact, a political allegory.
(For more animal goodness, try The Friday Ark and Carnival of the Cats on Sundays.)
BY THE WAY:
All the news has been about the .xxx pornographic top level domain proposal, but nobody seems to have noticed the .cat domain sneaking in for approval!
Catalan language sites? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, right. What’s next? .heeb for Hebrew? .jew for Jewish content?
This was all a ruse to get cats their own TLD, and it has worked! And it was all Edloe’s idea!

Katzen uber alles!