Jake, my coworker, is quitting smoking. He’s on The Gum right now.
He’s already gotten past the cranky and bitchy and grouchy stages, which is kind of a drag since it would have been very interesting to watch him go through them. Instead, he went through them during a 19 hour drive to Dallas or San Antonio or Anywhere But Here last week.
Anyway, I’m in the process of quitting crackers-and-cheese and beef jerky and gatorade. Seems I went on a junk food bender during the storm with all of my relief supplies, since Whole Foods doesn’t sell granola vegan hippy-happy disaster packs.
I figure I should just buy a steak, stick it on my arm, and say it’s a Meat Patch.
Pardon me if I’m bitchier than usual in the next few days. It’s going to be a rough ride.
Also, the gasoline supplies are coming into town, so the gigantic gaundy gasoline-fountains of Downtown Houston are being turned back on. Two deep lungfuls of fumes and I’m back in the halcyon headiness that is my city.
Just don’t light a match.
First!
I had a friend that was telling me about how his father (three packs a day) was trying to quit smoking by using the gum. He said he chewed is all day and still smoked. Then he tried using the patch, chewed the gum all day and still kept smoking. I said, “my God, he will become toxic! How is he doing?” My friend said, “Oh he is OK now, he finally got off the gum and patches”.
My dad picked up smoking while in Vietnam. Soon after my older brother was born, he just quit cold turkey, chucking his last pack in the trash before visting my grandparents.
I should get addicted to cigarettes and quit to show everyone how easy it is.
I have a freind who used to smoke like an oil well fire. She went with the patch and gum, now she’s adicted to that, popping the gum like cheese crackers…
By the way what’s wrong with crackers, cheese, jerky & gatorade?? Beside it’s kosher as long as you do the cheese & jerky seperate…
The nicotine patch is much better than nicotine gum, in my opinion. (That’s how I quit smoking.)