Hello, Aquafans!
I need some help, and this one is a little unusual.
You see, I was just swimming around, seeing if anything in the ocean was threatening the world. I then ran into some dolphins and said, “Ahoy, my aquatic mammal friends!”
The dolphins then proceeded to shoot me with toxic darts.
Next thing I knew, I’m here in this hospital in Jamaica (lucky they have internet). Apparently, Hurricane Katrina released some U.S. military trained dolphin super-weapons!
So, my question is, does anyone know where I should start filling the legal papers for this lawsuit?
First!!!!!!
Don’t waste your time, you can’t sue the Federal gov’t.
First, Aquaman, your dolphin accent is terrible. Nobody has been saying anything because you do all that charitable work counselling troubled sea cucumbers. But to dolphins you sound like a “fabulously” swish sea lion.
Second, whoever taught you that greeting was not your friend. What you actually said was, “Hi Sailors, you, me go boom-boom?”
Now I have talked to the dolphins, and they are willing to drop their sexual harrassment charges against you and let the neurotoxin darts be a warning to seek better linguistic assistance.
Anyone notice that the article is based on the speculations of one man? Has anyone seen my tin foil hat?
Did your butt hurt when you woke up?
Anty
I am just sure that all the dolphans had their harnesses on at all times and they also had a full load darts. DAH ! But seriously wont the sea water corrode their tinfoil hats and through off their aim
Aquaman just can’t catch any breaks. You’d think military super dolphins would be one threat he’d be equipped to handle.
You are supposed to hit them in the nose.
The Man,
That’s sharks, idiot. Hitting toxic dart wielding dolphins anywhere will just make them shoot you more.
Hey Aquaman, google Leo Sheridan, the
“accident expert”
He’s claimed before that dolphins found in the Med with their heads all mangled in the same way were also trained by the US.
According to the geocities link where Sheridan is a “dolphin expert”
The most bizarre explanation, put forward by Leo Sheridan, the British dolphin expert, is that the animals could have been trained by the United States Navy at one of its Mediterranean bases and then killed when they had outlived their usefulness.
And
That suggestion has been rejected by the French authorities. “This species of dolphin is very sensitive and nervous and cannot be kept in captivity. They die of stress if an attempt is made to catch them,” Mme Mueller said.
According to this link on striped dolphins(those that were found dead in the Mediterranean) from cetacea.org, Some individuals have been held in captivity, but have not successfully trained.
So I would suggest that if you meet Mr Sheridan, you slowly back away and don’t tell him some of your best friends are dolphins. Say they’re porpoises.
I have a suggestion. I seem to remember that you were going to mess with people who wrote, “First!”.
Why not just make it so that every post automatically has a “First!” comment. Maybe make it use the random quote generator or something.
Hey AquaFag, we knew you would have some lameo excuse for not dealing with the latest problem that any other “superhero” would have had an answer for… Let’s take Superman for example, when confronted with a hurricane, he would have simply blown Katrina back with his mighty breath…where was AquaQueer? Off “blowing” some dophins in Jamaica while taking up the Keester from what I take from his lameo story and the posts on this web site…sad…really sad…Aquahomo…