Attack Of The (Usher) Clones

An AP headline reads: Two Ushers Shot During Kanye West Concert.
Wait… there’s two Ushers? My God, I take a break from celebrity news for a week, and Usher clones himself? I didn’t realize that Usher had added Mad Scientist to musician, writer, record producer, and actor on his resume.
If two Ushers were shot, does that mean… God perish the thought, there’s more of them? Perhaps… just perhaps… is this how Usher will populate Usher World? With legions upon legions of Usher clones?
The Usher Clone Army must be stopped!
Thank goodness that Kanye West is telling his people to go out and shoot the Usher clones. You know, to keep the world from being conquered by the Usher Army to create Usher World.
Although… maybe… Kanye West is cloning himself too? And the Usher clones are getting in the way of Kanye West clones.
This is far more sinister than I previously thought. And terrifying, too.
Perhaps George Bush doesn’t hate black people after all. He just hates the black people who clone themselves.

9 Comments

  1. A quick search at infospace.com turned up another Kanye West in Detroit. That has to be suspicious. A black man in Detroit, please, give me a break. I think you’re on to something here.

  2. My mom tells me she was an usher at a movie theater when she was 16. Now she’s part of the Usher Underground, Granny Contingent. Bullet-proof apron, machine pistol on the walker, she’s ready for the next Kayne West concert!

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