After listening to the Oscar ceremony, I have come to the conclusion that it’s actually pretty hard out there for a pimp:
- Dental insurance won’t cover your grill.
- Pimpmobiles make lousy gas mileage.
- Kobe Bryant’s being a good boy now.
- Hos want to expand into credit and Paypal, but that doesn’t make for an impressive pimproll.
- So much time wasted despamming your pimpblog.
- The new hundreds, fifties, twenties, and tens also contain secret anti-pimp measures. How can you do your pimping with just fives and ones?
- Ornamental canes seen as weapons, leading to many arrests.
- Way too many BA in Pimpology degrees out there. Now you need a Masters or PhD to get the job.
- Escorts actually just want to escort.
- Translating Snoop Dogg Speak is tough. What does Qizzle mean, anyway?
- Johnny Law is cracking down on underage hookers, but Gary Glitter just keeps offering more money.
- People assume pimpslaps and bitchslaps are the same thing. There’s a difference, man!
- Lack of birth control use results in too many cribs in your crib.
- Dancer Industry infringing on Ho Industry.
- Pimp Lobby already weakened by Clinton’s departure now dealing with Kennedy erectile dysfunction issues.
- Competition from illegal Mexican pimps.
- Rap industry hurt by illegal downloads, cutting back from bling-bling to just bling to make ends meet.
- “Friends and Family” wireless plan doesn’t extend to “Bitches and Hos.”
- iTunes refuses to carry pimpcasts.
- PETA protests against fur hats and hubcaps.
So if you’re a pimp, my heart goes out to you. And thank goodness the actors and actresses of the world have come together to salute your tireless service.
LOL; someone had to do this post. Great job, Lair.
You know I feel for them too. You pimp a car you get a tv show on MTV. You pimp a hoe you end up in jail. Where is the justice.
Being as I’d not watched the Oscars, I’m confused as to what this means.
I don’t watch the Oscars because it seems too much like masturbation to me.
Please explain the pimp reference.
I don’t understand how you can sing a “song” called “It’s hard out there bein’ a PIMP”, then win an Oscar for a “song” called “It’s hard out there bein’ a PIMP”, and then immediately thank Jesus???
Yeah, that “Thank you Jesus!” was comical! I didn’t listen to the song. I muted it and watched the words and that gal just kept repeating the same thing again and again (at least I know it by heart now). Give me Dolly Parton any old day!
I don’t understand how you can sing a “song” called “It’s hard out there bein’ a PIMP”, then win an Oscar for a “song” called “It’s hard out there bein’ a PIMP”, and then immediately thank Jesus???
While the Bible doesn’t specifically mention pimps (to my knowledge), there are accounts of prostitutes in the Bible, so one can only assume that there were pimps back in the day. I’d also assume it was hard out there for them as well.
Drive by stonings?
so, tell us mr desertelephant… do you pimp yourself to yourself? if so… what do you pay yourself? and is it tax
deductable? maybe as a medical expense?…
laurence is curious…
LOL! Best Oscar commentary I’ve seen.
Shane, I meant that it seems like the Oscars are merely about hollywood pleasuring themselces. All form, no substance. You can crankl one off in the privacy of your room, but with a partner, then the magic begins.
Perhaps I should have compared the Oscars to Inbred relations, since Hollywood is so self-contained its skin is starting to look a tad bluish.
That’s a sublime work of anti-humor there.
Sounds like a bunch of haters on this board! Try not to hate so much and congratulate! I’m still PISSED Halle Berry won a damn award for the SICK ASS movie Monster Ball! YOU People are a trip! LMAOOOO at all of you!!!
This is music. Imagine a romantic young couple saying “They’re playing our song.” Henry Mancini must be turning over in his grave!
I just want to say I watched Hustle and Flow and If any of you watched the movie you would understand why it was so fitting for this movie to win some kind of award I loved it to watch them create this song Not one but two I love all types of music. And the beats are great. So I agree Not to Hate on this song with the comment before mine
Response to “Deb”:
You could not have made such an EDUCATED comment about this topic! It’s sucha shame that we have such SHALLOW people making SHALLOW comments about a movie they either did not see or just don’t understand! The movie had a great message regardless of the song. Try to think OUTSIDE THE BOX more often and you will be able to make educated comments!!!