Thanks to the website spacemonkey posted, I have determined my Bacon Number I asked about earlier. I know it’s only supposed to apply to actors, but it’s important to know how far separated everyone is from Kevin Bacon.
Anyway, I, Frank J., have a sister who does costume design. She worked on the movie The Eliminator (she did a lot of costume design though IMDB doesn’t have her listed) which starred Michael Rooker who was in JFK with Kevin Bacon.
So I have a Bacon Number of 3, only slightly higher than the average actor.

Frank, The Oracle of Bacon will tell you your bacon temperature.
(Or any one else, theirs)

I work with people who had this guy as a professor, so that puts me two degrees away from terrorism (or maybe three since this guy was more involved with funding).
That reminds me; I need to find how many degrees I am from Kevin Bacon. Through my sister (whom I’m one degree away from), I am three degrees away from any actor in Mallrats. What’s the quickest route from there to Kevin Bacon?
UPDATE: Since my sister is one degree away from this actress/stuntwoman through her costume design work on Backlash, that means I’m only three degrees away from Jack Bauer!

John Hawkins reprinted part of a discussion at Democratic Underground about fleeing the country since they think we’re on the verge of becoming like Nazi Germany. Moonbats leaving under their own accord would be great since there is no known medical treatment for Bush Derangement Syndrome, but I was thinking that maybe we can help speed up the process.
What if we successfully started a rumor that a Bush dissenter was grabbed in the middle of the night simply because of his viewpoints?
Something like that might scare those whose threats of leaving are just bluster into actually leaving. Thus, I’ve got a sort of plan developing. Now, since I came up with this idea, I can’t directly start the rumor on my blog or it’s too obvious. Luckily, I started a newsletter which isn’t publicly available to anyone doing a Google search. So, in the next newsletter, I’ll put up a fake AP story of someone being mysteriously grabbed by feds and the White House saying they won’t comment on the matter. Then, other bloggers can just cut and paste that on their own blogs saying they got it off the AP wire or saw it on a liberal blog and react to it (either suspicious or saying it’s probably nothing). People without blogs can e-mail liberal blogs the story or post on bboards or something.
Anyway, it sounds like a plan to start an internet rumor. Any advice? Remember: the idea is to get some liberal blogs to believe this and comment about it. That means we can’t be too over the top and the story and how right-wing blogs react to it need to fit their skewed idea of how the world currently is. If it seems true to them, they’ll accept it without any research.
Also, we need some cool codename for this operation to scare the moonbats out of America. Discuss in the comments, and then this will start when I send out the IMAO Newsletter later this week.
And, since people always ask, you can sign up for the IMAO Newsletter on the left sidebar or at the IMAO Store (where you can also buy stuff!).

So Franz Becknbauer of the World Cup Organizing Committee came up with the brilliant idea to use golden soccer balls for the finals.

“It only surprises me that no one thought of it before,” Beckenbauer said at a bizarre ceremony at Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate…

Okay, that’s impressive, but…

Sorry, Franz, but that’s only the display model you’re playing with.
The real ball is behind you:

What’s that noise? Do you hear growling?
Oh my God! It’s haunted! They used gold yanked from the mouths of Nazi concentration camp victims, and they want revenge!
Aauuuuuuggggghhhh! Run for your lives!

Brought to you by Dick Morris
Dick Morris: President Bush is a Republican Jimmy Carter!
Welcome Back Carter
(Cue Theme Song)
Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around.
Who’d have thought they’d lead ya (Who’d have thought they’d lead ya)
Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)
Yeah we tease him a lot cause we’ve hot him on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
(Jimmy Carter walks into the studio. Audience applauds.)
Mr. Carter: I’m so glad they brought me back to Washington. I feel like now people appreciate all of my accomplishments. Like being a former president. Where are those silly kids? Always late, I tell you.
Enter The Sweatporks — A small tight knit group of Dems.
(audience applause)
Latinostein: Yo man. I hadn’t seen the press rough anybody up that bad in a long time.
Horseface: Yaw. They got him good, yes they did. I do solemnly swear that those press reporters nailed that blogger something fierce. That memory will be forever seared, seared into my brain.
Latinostein: That was ugly. Who did that blogger insult? The Democrats?
Horseface: Worse, he insulted Islam! Hilly, where are you my good lady?
(Enter Hill Clintarino, a politically tough street thug.)
Hilly: I’m coming, I’m coming. Don’t fall over yourself — you’ll have to award yourself another purple heart.
Horseface: (noticing Jimmy Carter for the first time) Mr. Cartah, Mr. Cartah, Mr. Cartah!
Mr. Carter: Hey, guys. Nice to be back. I’ve read that President Bush is the Republican me! That’s crazy! I was much better at running the country than he is.
Sweatporks — together — YEAH!
Mr. Carter: For starters, I had a brother who drank beer all day. But it was his own line of beer! What about this President? What’s his brother do? Governor of Florida?
Latinostein: PShhht. Right. That’s not even a real state. It got blown in by a hurricane! I think it’s a piece of Italy or something!
(Sweatporks high five each other and laugh)
Horseface: By the way, didn’t we have an African American character in this sketch?
Latinostein: Nope, boss. She was delayed by the racist Capitol Police department who insisted that she carry ID and not slap them around!
Hilly: I blame the fact that she’s a woman.
Mr. Carter: I’ll refer this one to the United Nations.

Continue reading ‘Welcome Back Carter – The Series’ »

Here are some banners (thanks to cadet happy) to show your support of Michelle Malkin being a woman and a minorty despite liberals protests.


I’d say link them to Michelle’s site or to the recent post of hate mail for context.
UPDATE: If you put up a banner on your blog, e-mail me (frankj@imao.us) your blog name and URL with the subject “I Support Malkin” so I can later post a list of blogs that supports Michelle Malkin’s right to be a minority and a woman.

Michelle Malkin has once again stirred up the hate-filled lefties (warning: her post contains uncensored hate mail charging with the high crime of being both a woman and a minority). I won’t go into all the details of the incident that led to this, but I think the worst part of it is that we have military recruiters who can be intimidated by wacky campus libs. I would have hoped our average military man or woman could reduce one of those moonbats to a quivering mass with one stare.
Now, I haven’t always agreed with Malkin’s tactics such as the time she strangled a kitten with piano wire to make a point on immigration, but these attack on her have got to stop. Someone should be able to be a pundit without constant threats and racial slurs. What if we started using slurs against liberal icons?
BTW, that Howard Dean is one dumb honky cracker.
On the other hand, maybe Malkin can cause all the moonbats to hate themselves out until they just are too tired to hate anymore and just spend their time smoking pot and eating cheetos.
Anyway, I think someone should make a banner blogs can put up that says, “I support Michelle Malkin even though she is in fact a woman and a minority.” We bloggers have to stick together! Show your support for Malkin!