ok, even if y’all don’t watch American Idol.
please.
do me a favor and watch tonight. it’s going to be the best show ever!
i’d heard that Kellie Pickler was singing “Bohemian Rhapsody”, but i couldn’t believe it. USA Today has it, though, so maybe i’ll believe it. (thanks to reader Leland for the link!)
but let me go on. please, let me go on! this is so fantastic i can’t bear it. last week i thought i was getting close to done with this snoozer of a season, but if they’re going to suck this big every week, how can i lay off? the snark will be dying to escape my pretty little brain! ok, so here’s the scooby:
Ace – “We Will Rock You”. with an R&B soul spin! Weeeeeee wi-hi-hi-hiiiiiillllll, weeee wi-hi-heeeee!-hi-lilly-i-hi-hill ro-ho-hawwwwawawawoak ye-hoo-e-ooo. it’s going to be a disaster, and he’s going to bring that hideous falsetto, i just know it! if he sucks as hard as i know he can, he’ll be going bye-bye. come on, Ace, do it for me and your permanent scar!
Bucky – “Fat Bottomed Girls”. now Bucky, you can’t expect me to go easy on you just because you’re going to sing about me!
Chris – “Innuendo”. never heard of it. i think it’s funny that Chris notes it’s never been performed live by Queen.
Elliott – “Somebody to Love”. He says there’s soul in it. i hope that doesn’t translate to bring on the yawns.
Katharine – “Who Wants to Live Forever”. she probably won’t take any risks and will be wearing something retarded. period.
Paris – “The Show Must Go On”. without her hairflicking, preferably. she says it’s her kind of song but still a bit rocky. bubble gum rock. sounds groovy.
Taylor – “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”. boring and safe? it’s been a pattern of late…
Kellie Pickler, my all-time favorite train wreck. i cannot wait for 8:00. “Bohemian Rhapsody”. God loves me. she says it’s hard to memorize since she only has a minute and thirty seconds of it. that’ll be so great, her forgetting the lyrics while hitting a bad note. “Mama, just la-la-la” out of tune will be fabulous! the best, though, will be if she sings this part: “I see a little silhouetta of a man…” – I would die from my sides splitting open. Galileo!
Kellie, thank you. i haven’t seen it yet, but i know it’s going to be so much worse than i can imagine. i’m so happy i could fly.
holy crap. she wouldnt. she couldnt. bohemian rhapsody? ….she better not make my state look bad. if she does, we wont let her come back.
-S (frst!)
lololololol…..i cant wait!!!!!!
“Thunder bolts of lightning really really frightning me!!”
Sorry, no can do. Even if it wasn’t Beet Pickling night at the homestead, can’t bring myself to watch that show.
Suuuurrre, of course I’ll watch “American Imbecile”. Right after I use my grater as a suppository. Actually, the latter would be less painful.
This season is a joke. The producers of AI better be doing everything they can to keep Chris on the show, because if he leaves they will have nothing but a really terrible karaoke night.
Everybody seems to remember that song. Ever seen the flash done with Mega Man 7 sprites? It’s hilarious!
kinda sorta really off-topic. There used to be a video on the internet called “Lost Rhapsody”. It sounded like Wierd Al doing “Bohemian Rhapsody”, with cutouts of Lost characters. It was funny.
Anyway, back to the show.