Previously on 24, President Estrogen admitted that Palmer’s killer works for him, Marty flipped out, Estro said pretty please don’t ask anymore questions, Robocop told Estro that he’s saving the tape for in case the President has him offed, Miles the Weasel found Chloe at Bill Buchanan’s house, Mr. F called and tipped off Bill and Chloe that CTU was on the way, Chloe (who has reapplied lipstick) couldn’t leave because she’s still helping Jackiepooh, Rico Suave returned to save Audrey and captured Robocop, which made SarahK happy (all except the saving Audrey part), and Audrey started to kinda sorta grow on SarahK. But she’s on a really short leash! Also Jack tracked the recording to a chartered diplomatic flight and hopped aboard below deck just as the plane started to rev up, and nobody noticed.

Mr. F touches base with Bill, and Bill tells Mr. F that Jack’s on the flight. Weasel shows up in Mr. F’s office (Bill’s office) and tells Mr. F that the team is almost at Bill’s house to get Chloe. Weasel wants the remote debrief set up in Mr. F’s office, but she says no, get out of here, I want my privacy, set up in the situation room, and his wussy little feelings are hurt. Bill tells Mr. F where Jack is, and Mr. F gives Chloe a secure channel to call her on. Bill tells Chloe how to escape and tells her that he’ll see her later at CTU, because Mr. F is gonna have him arrested and brought in for show. Chloe looks worried and runs away with a laptop.
Before we go any further, it should be noted that Mr. F is no longer a mentally retarded female and has become totally cool. So I have to drop the Mr. part of the name, and since she’s cool like a James Bond character, she gets to just go by her only remaining initial. She is now “F”. People will wear t-shirts with her new name on them.
People wearing black arrive to arrest Chloe, and Bill starts undressing. He strips down to his wifebeater and messes up his hair to look like he was sleeping. The team comes in, and Bill says I’m not talking to you. I’m only talking to F, ’cause she’s cool, unlike you bonehead losers. And SarahK’s like, where’s Wayne Palmer? Wasn’t Bill babysitting him for Jack? Maybe he’s sleeping in Bill’s guest room.
The suits find that Chloe must have been there, so they need to question Bill. Weasel wants to question Bill at his house, F is like, No! We do it here so I can run it and derail the whole thing! And Weasel says they’re wasting time, and she tells him to shut his weasely face.
Chloe walks into the hotel that Bill directed her to and sets up shop in the hotel bar. Her ethernet cable is attached to her computer, but she doesn’t plug the ethernet in. She phones F to tell her where she is and tells F to not let people look for her there. F pulls up Jack’s flight manifest and sends to the shared drive so Chloe can access it.
Chloe calls Jack, who’s kinda busy in the plane’s underbelly. Chloe’s crossreferencing the passenger list against Robocop, and Jack’s surprised that F is letting Chloe help Jack. Jack wants the air marshall’s seat number.
This jerk in the bar is turned down by a woman and calls her a 21st century woman, because he doesn’t think that his bald, frumpy physique could be to blame. Maybe it’s the white button down shirt. At least go off-white. White see-thru button-down plain low-grade cotton is so “I wear tighty whiteys and don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.” You know, this world would be a better place if all men would check with SarahK before making poor fashion decisions. Anyway, Chloe’s giving him the stay away look, and I think he’s gonna ignore that.
Jack tucks his JackSack away and heads into the cabin of the plane. He sits next to the air marshall, says he needs to get some sleep, and elbows the guy in the face, which knocks him out. He takes the marshall’s badge, because he’s sure no one will recognize that he doesn’t look anything like that air marshall. Hmm. Gay and foreign-looking v. powerfully hot and apple-pie-American-looking. Yep, you could pass for him, Jack.
Chloe tells Jack that there’s a German guy in a certain seat who worked with Robocop. Jack finds him and gets him to come to the galley with him, where he knocks him out and moves him into the baggage compartment.
Marty asks the guard for her meds, and he says no. “What? You think I’m gonna kill myself over that SOB? I just called the President of the United States a SOB. Isn’t there a law against that? Or am I immune to laws just like he is?” She tells the guard that he has no personality, then she calls Mike Novick. Good old semi-reliable Mike. She tells Mike that they won’t let her have her meds. Mike says she has enough in her system. She says no, I need it now, I don’t need counseling, I need a pill. Mike dismisses the agent and closes the door. She starts crying and flashes her diamond, which is really big and really pretty. She says none of this is going away. Mike says wha? Marty says I can’t tell you, but I can fumble around here so you know something is really super wrong. Maybe if you guess. Ask me questions. Give me meds. Please pill me.
Halliburton calls Estro to remind him and the viewers just how bad it will be for Jack to get ahold of the recording. Thanks for the update. Mike comes in and tells Estro that his wife is agitated and wants to medicate. Mike says, what’s going on? Estro: What did Marty say is going on? Mike: Marty is agitated and needs meds, so if something’s up, I should know. Estro says: It’s none of your business. Mike: It is if it involves national security. Estro: Ya see… Marty and I figured out today that our marriage is nothing more than a facade, what with me being a flaming homo and all. And we have to stay married for as long as I’m president [which isn’t very long, hopefully]. Give her the meds!
Jack tells Germanman that he knows who he is and wants to see his luggage because Robocop gave him something. Germanman says he doesn’t know nothing.
Back in the hotel bar, Chloe gets approached by the guy who’s not wearing a white button-down. I was wrong. She blows him off, and he tells her that when she comes up for air, he’s buying. He should run away. She could kill him with one squint.
The flight attendant figures out that the air marshall has been assaulted and there’s a passenger missing. They tell the pilot, and the air marshall comes to and figures out that his gun is missing. He goes looking for Jack. Meanwhile, there’s major turbulence going on, because it is physically impossible for an action show or movie to film an airplane scene without there being turbulence to make the fights more interesting. Physically impossible.
Mike shows up with Marty’s meds, and she downs some with wine. Mike wants Marty to tell him what’s going on, and says that he knows she and Estro are covering something up. She doesn’t tell him her husband is a treasonous fool.
Chloe realizes that the Germanman isn’t the guy because he was tied up in customs when Robocop was making the handoff. The air marshall, who’s now looking extremely Arab and guilty, has the flight attendant tell the pilot that they’ve cleared the baggage compartment and can depressurize it. “But there’s a passenger with the guy! He could die!” Air marshall still wants it done. Guilty! Jack realizes what’s going on and calls Chloe to have him patched in to the pilot. Chloe calls F for help, and F calls air traffic control.
Meanwhile, the guy in the bar keeps going after Chloe and tells her he can help her steal bandwidth. Really? Have a seat! He sits, he asks what sweet piece of machine she’s working on, she tasers him and says, “CTU Series 4.” F patches Chloe and Jack through, and Jack says he’s a federal agent and tries to convince the pilot to open the hatch. Pilot says no, Jack tells him that someone on board is a danger to the captain, and the captain says no. Jack calls the pilot an SOB, opens a panel, and pulls on some wires to move the plane from side to side. Captain gives in and tells the flight attendant to open the hatch and let Jack out. Jack grabs his purse, leaves Germanman there, and climbs out. He makes the Guilty Air Marshall get into the baggage compartment and closes the hatch.
Jack walks through the cabin waving the gun and yells at everyone. He gets on the phone with the captain and tells him to keep him in a holding pattern until he finds the national security evidence, and the captain says no, I have to land. Jack’s mad.
How many blades can one possibly need in a razor? I use 1 and 2 blade razors. I refuse to go higher.
FAA calls Estro and tells him about the plane being commandeered by Jack. Estro tells Halliburton, who tells him to order the plane down and arrest Jack at the airport.
Bill is brought in to call Weasel a pinkytoe kisser. SarahK laughs. Weasel calls Mike Novick to second-guess F, and he sounds very whiny. Mike says, “Noted. Get off my phone.” Meanwhile, F takes the cameras in her questioning room offline so Weasel can’t watch. She tells Bill Jack has about 15 minutes. Estro & Mike call, and Estro tells F that the plane is to land, and Secret Service is to take Jack dead or alive. She hangs up on the president.
Bill says they have to buy Jack more time. F says she can’t keep the plane in the air.
Novick says Jack’s on the right side. Estro says he’s backed into a corner right now, and he’s hijacked a plane. “Jack’s been lying to us all day. He’s played us all for fools.” Mike isn’t buying what Estro’s selling.
Chloe’s tasered guy wakes up, and Chloe re-tasers him. She finds out that the copilot was replaced at the last minute by someone who worked for Robocop for over a year. Chloe patches Jack through to the pilot where the copilot can’t hear. A hero tries to attack Jack from behind but only gets halfway up the aisle before Jack waves his gun around.
Jack tells the pilot that the copilot’s bad. Pilot fakes a leg cramp, copilot attacks pilot with a flashlight, and pilot gets door open as he falls. Jack busts in and points gun at copilot. Jack tells copilot he doesn’t look like he’s willing to die for Robocop, and the copilot hands over the recording. Jack tells Chloe to call CTU and tell them he’s in control of the plane and has the evidence.
Estro gets a call from Marty, who sounds like she’s swallowed a whole bottle of pills and is crying and saying goodbye-ish. Estro tells her he didn’t trust her because she’s been wacko for 3 years. He hangs up on her and talks to Halliburton, who tells him that they heard Chloe tell F that Jack’s got the plane and the evidence. Halliburton tells Estro he’s gonna have to shoot down the plane, or go to jail for treason and murder. Beep boop all that.
Next week, the President orders people to shoot down the plane. Jack tries to get the plane landed first. Novick is confused.