I’ve been having trouble coming up with new stuff to blog about, and I think I figured out why: this politics fad has run its course. There have been so many blogs about politics with the right-wingers and crazy moonbats that I think everything that can be said has been said. When I came up to the final solution to political turmoil – punching liberals in their dumb monkey faces – I think that was the last original thought left on the subject of politics. Thus, it’s time to move on to another topic.
Now, I don’t know what else to blog about. A popular subject seems to be cats, but cats freak me out. They have those weird eyes just like gators and they sun themselves – just like gators! I’m always yelling at the cats, “STOP STARING AT ME!” But they don’t stop. They just walk towards me until I run away screaming.
I could blog about technology, but technology is complicated. Also, it usually involves electricity, which means there is an electrocution hazard. Frankly, I fear technology and want to smash it with a bat; I don’t know how great a blog that would make.
Other than politics, cats, and technology, are there any other blog topics to choose from? There might not be. Then what do I do? Blog about my daily life? That would be boring. I mean, the ninja attacks and shoot outs I get in each day are exciting, but they become lifeless when I try to transcribe the experience.
So what are some blogging topics?
FrankJ’s new Firefly stories! Like the original, but more gratuitous violence, like 24!
Ooh! FrankJ’s new 24 stories! Maybe with spaceships, like Firefly.
Oh yeah, first.
Like I care – unless it makes FrankJ write Firefly and 24 stories.
You could go back to the basics and blog about the monkey and ninja threat.
Or maybe blog about some kind of conspiracy involving Leonardo Divinci.
I don’t think anyone blogged or written about that before.
You could always write about T-shirt Chicks and Protest Babes, those are usually popular. Or the latest Puppy-Blender Conspiracy to rule the universe. Or come up with new reasons to detonate nukes on a nearby planetary body. Or France.
Um Frank?
Did you just blog about not having anything to blog about? That’s a rookie blogger mistake, and we expect more from you. Bad form, ol’ chap.
What’s next, some blinkie buttons and a weather tracker? How about taking an online quiz and telling us which Brady kid you are?
Hey, Chris, rookie commenter mistake: NOT SHUTTING THE HELL UP!
Hippy smiting.
And stories with bacon in it.
Mmmmm…bacon…
And gun stuff!!
Show us gun pron and targets you and the missus shot and range reports!!!
Mmmmmm…guns….
And because I’m a professional commentor, I’ll shut the hell up now.
Whew! At first I thought the title was “Topless.” Upsetting images popped up, and I was reaching for the emergency lobotomy icepick when I looked closer.
Hey. Maybe you could discuss who in our country needs lobotomies and how such procedures should be administered. For example:
Michael Moore – melon baller
Al Gore – tiny carnivorous centipedes inserted in the nasal cavity
Bacon is good, but informing us that we’re all doomed is much better. I mean, after all, we are, aren’t we?
Oh, and Chris, you have the gift of teh funny insults. Keep it up.
Although I must say, even when Frank J. blogs about having nothing to blog about, it still comes out humorous. Amazing.
OK, it seems I’ve touched a nerve, so I’ll help out with topic ideas:
Nougat – what the hell is it?
Nugent – what few animal species hasn’t he hunted?
Nuggets – When will they win an NBA title?
Nutella – Man that stuff is good!
I’d post more, but I might wear out my welcome . . .
Wow, did Frank just get pwned by a platypus? I think he did.
Religion is always fun.
You could blog about Dean Cain, you know, post a picture and comment on how yummy he looks(sarahk could assist here if you run out of adjectives)
I know I HAD a blog that did this, but I disconnected my home connection and don’t have time to do it at work so I deleted it completely.
Our Benevolent Overlord is no more… (sigh and weep)
Frank,
How about, oh, I don’t know, doing a NEW PODCAST sometime? Sometimes switching from text to verbal will trigger new creative thoughts. Besides, I’ve grown so desperate that I sleep with a woman from Nashville now just to get a good feminine Yee-Haw! now and then. It’s really sad. Thank God for cheap Southwest flights.
Go with what you love and find dear:
antique porcelain miniatures. It’s like cat blogging, but the photographs are easier and there’s no scratches.
Hey PaleoMedic, why would you lobotomize yourself over topless images? I think Topless is a great blogtopic! Has anybody ever seen Pamela Anderson topless? Oh… about 99 million? Nevermind.
How about: “FrankJ reads and comments on classic works of literature”?
mudshark,
I pictured FrankJ topless. Had I simply defaulted to topless women as usual, all would be well in my little brain…
Let’s see, maybe you could start having your readers submit reasonable facsimiles of your writing style, and then you critique them.
Or, amybe you could make up hate mail, and then verbally abuse the made up hater.
PaleoMedic, Cadet Happy has also pictured FrankJ topless.. pantless, in drag.. etc.. I just don’t want to go there again…
Actually I also would like a new imaudo to download on my gayarsed ipod. Please?
The topless thing had me wondering too… Then I read it right and a tear was shed.
“Al Gore – tiny carnivorous centipedes inserted in the nasal cavity”
Or that slug thing from Wrath of Khan. Then we could control him to do our bidding. Wait.. Karl did that already?
OK. Just do some Harry Potter fan fiction and it will all be better in the morning.
How about just taking the catblogging away? Completely. Like a cat-ectomy. Not even a trace of cats. Maybe that’s messin’ wit’ yo mojo, man.
Guns and shooting stuff? Daily life of FrankJ (except for any mention of cats)?
You know you can’t stay away from politics.
Well, if you’re tired of poly-tics,
How about loony-tics, or blood sucking tics (those always make good blogalicious fun), or perhaps facial tics (you know what I’m talking about, right? The kind you get from staring at too many dumb monkey faced liberals.).
Frank J.
“I’ve been having trouble coming up with new stuff to blog about, and I think I figured out why: this politics fad has run its course. There have been so many blogs about politics with the right-wingers and crazy moonbats that I think everything that can be said has been said.”
Maybe. Or maybe you don’t have anything to blog about regarding politics because anyone who considers politics “a fad” doesn’t have anything interesting to say about politics?
Maybe you do not have anything to blog about because your hero George Bush isn’t doing so well, and rather than adjust your poltical perspective to deal with this reality, it is easier to just live in a delusional fantasy world and not say anything?
Or maybe you have just finally come to the realization that your superfical understanding of politics, combined with your complete lack of wit, means that you really have nothing to offer in terms of political humor?
Hmm. They are all good, but I think the best answer is the third one.
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
fresh fresh monkey faced liberal…tsktsk.
Anyway Frank, it all may have been said, but right now we need it again and again. At least I do. I need to stay pissed off enough to keep on top of what my reps are doing (although I should do that anyway, pissed or unpissed).
I agree with c. You can’t stay away, and I for one am hoping you don’t give it the ol college try. I come here specifically for your take on all things political – don’t let a mommy down!
Hey, Monkey Faced Liberal. Let me let you in on a secret.
Frank J. wasn’t serious.
In fact… he almost never is on this blog!
:-O Shocking, I know!
P.S. I agree with fmragtops’ suggestion that you critique our fan fiction.
“Asinine, all of you, asinine!”
Heh.
I like the concept of the virtual idiot famly that lives next to all of us and has some interesting relatives. Garrison Keller did okay with this concept but he does not have the talent, nor the balls, to do a FrankJ kind or creation.
Now that Nawlins’ re-elected Nagin, How about blogging on some of their new hurricane preparedness???
Latest plan I heard was issuing everyone their own personal “looting kit”…
How about the pitiful plight of moonbat liberals failing to achieve “happy ending” or “full realease at their high school proms? Of course, in this case, mfl happy ending equates to a female saying “yes” (never happens)and full release, well modesty dictates that we end this here.
Just re-run some of your earliest blog entries, nobody will notice. Unless they have dates or specific timely events in them, in which case some of us will notice, and wonder how you went back in time, and others of us will notice but wonder why you are re-running old posts, unless you announce up front that you are re-running old posts, in which case many of us will think you ran out of things to blog.
Or just post more pics of the missus.
Isn’t Toplicles the son of Zeus?
How about a blog about nothing… thats right a blog about nothing. But with a butler in it somehow though.