Okay, so today’s supposed to be some kind of “Day Without Immigrants” thing where illegals and their supporters will not go to work, skip school, and rally in various cities across the country.
Fine. We don’t need you. Because we citizens have a secret weapon up out sleeves: cats.
We will replace you with cats.
They will serve our meals:
“If there isn’t anything else I can bring you,
I’ll just go lick myself in the corner.”
Protect our homes:
“Perimeter secure.
Now where’s the catnip?”
Perform mindless computer office work:
“I’ll have the reports ready by five.”
Entertain us:
“Baseball been berry berry good to me!”
Pick fruit:
“Gatos pickos del ninjas… um…nachos…
what’s the word for orange again?
Pack beverage products:
“Laverne and Shirley can kiss my
furry orange ass.”
Serve in our armed forces:
“One move, and the mosque gets it.”
Manufacture footwear:
“The hardest part is stringing the laces
when you don’t have thumbs.”
Landscaping maintenance:
“I much prefer gas-powered trimmers
to those annoying electrics.”
Fight pirates:
“Why is it always a scurvy dog?
We cats can get scury, too, I think.”
And bird care:
“Sing, or you don’t get this birdseed.”
So, illegal immigrants and their defenders, you have a very important choice today. You can either go about your business today as normal, or you may find yourself replaced by a cat.
How smart of them to strike when the unemployment rate is so high, ESPECIALLY amongst cats!
I have 4 cats and 3 dirty toilets. Here kitty kitty kitty!!!
Brilliant, Laurence!!!
Today is my two cat’s birthday – so nice of those people to celebrate it with me.
And no, my cats are not com-mew-nists, if you were wondering.
Kent- They aren’t followers of Chairman Meow?
I wish I could get my cats to take someone’s job.
Wow, I’m impressed that someone posting on such an anti-unamerican site as this one seemed to come up with some rather offensive or terroristic captions for these cute pictures by the end. I hope it was done facetiously – my cat is spoiled, and you definitely don’t want an American like her working for you. (Nor a mexican, but spoiled Mexicans are harder to find – lol) Part of the problem may be that we’ve spent our lives spoiling our children and letting them believe that their whims are just as important as the needs of others. So now it comes down to war with anyone who interferes with those
Can we use terror to fight terrorism? Let’s see… If any of you pseudo-free-speech nazis, who are actually trying desperately to silence the truth that convicts you, wants to face me, I’ll hand you your lesson with your testicles. So did that work? You all want to just leave me alone now, right?!
Truly, your emotions are being played to get you to fight for a stupid cause that will only lead to the exploitation or death of yourselves, or of someone who would be willing to work with you to achieve mutual goals, if only we didn’t act like such assholes in front of the rest of the world, which is most definitely watching.
So are we gonna nuke the rest of the world to protect our interests, and hope we can survive the fallout? We the people really won’t be able to participate in the decision of our fates, because by then the fascists who control our nation’s wealth now, will control all the governmental power as well, and they can find the magic number that makes us all (you too!) jump through their hoops, and defend their interests with our lives.
PS I really like cats. I also like having someone to serve me hamburgers in a clean environment who actually gets the job done without complaining or correction. Even if I have to struggle through some language barrier (Una doble hamburguesa con queso, fritas grandes, y te frio, por favor?) to get it done, at least I’m not one of the ‘Dumb Americans’ who thinks they’re owed $10 an hour plus benefits to work part-time at McDonald’s.
I make less money but do more with it because I’m intelligent. If you’re too stupid to make the most of God’s gifts to you, don’t blame the Mexicans for using what God gave them. Maybe God just loves them more, because they find neighbors and go to work, instead of going to war?
Who Would Jesus Torture? We are not a Christian nation. We are not even pretending to be one. We are just trying to claim it, to impress our enemy or what?
So does a Christian nation oppress all the non-Christians, after it gets done attacking Muslim nations for oppressing non-Muslims, or does it start the same day it starts the international war? Which would be easier to maintain conrol of, a fearful population preparing for war overseas, or one whose citizens feel victorious and sovereign?
Again, if you want to control me, come try, bitches. I’ll show you what the military taught me during my time in the Middle East. Level-headedness, reasoning, acting intelligently rather than emotionally, in familiar or alien environments. Fighting a madman is very easy, morally – the only way to lose is to become the madman yourself. Pray we americans do not become the madmen terrorizing the world. For surely it will begin with the subduction and oppression of our own people. Today its just the illegal immigrants. Once that fence is up, and they come for you, then where will you go for Freedom?
America – Still the land of the FREE?
I wish it were free Richard. Unfortunately it is costing my family a lot of money to pay for the health care of the illegals (my family has gone 6 years without medical insurance), send their children to our schools (we homeschool so none of that money is going to us) and house them in our prisons (I don’t mind paying a small fee to send them back!). If people want to migrate to America (and why wouldn’t they, it’s a great place!) they need to learn our language and earn their keep and not take advantage of our generosity (and stupidity!). Now, back to those cute cats…..
At least the cats make an attempt to cover it after they crap in your yard.
Thanks for reading to the end, jonag. I haven’t had medical insurance since I got out of the USAF over 10 years ago until last year, I got some substandard stuff through work for a small premium, but I guess its better than nothing if I ever have to use it (I LOVE to gamble! Will I need it or won’t I? I can’t wait to see if I’m a winner!)
I don’t know why we don’t all homeschool now. We’d be able to teach our kids all they ever want to know off the internet, and surely for less than our wonderful public school systems cost.
Um, where might we send our American prisoners though, since we don’t really want them here either? Also, people who want to migrate to America may only be breaking the law by being here. Do you want to be the cop that arrests and locks up a moral hard-working man for not being from America, and no other known crime? It seems they have to do more than learn the language and contribute. They have to learn all that, then fill out the necessary government paperwork, a significant task for even English-speaking Americans, I’ll bet.
I don’t think our prisons are being used as spare immigrant housing, unless immigrants and criminals are synonymous in one’s mind. Maybe they are the same in other non-free countries.
(Oh I miss the days of the USSR, when we could judge our wealth and freedoms against those of the people behind the now-fallen Berlin wall instead of by the lowest common denominator – the dictatorships and puppet democracies we focus so much on now, while we clothe ourselves in the inequities we claim to be defending ourselves and our citizens against). Would Jesus turn away an immigrant in need? Can someone who says they are a follower of His do the same without sin?
Its ok though, our cats will save our souls, doesn’t it say so in Fluffy 3:16 😉
Here’s an interesting line from a character on the show “Lost”:
“If you come into a man’s house, do you kick off your shoes, put your feet on his coffee table, raid his fridge, and change the channel on his TV?”
In other words, “If you come into another country, do you think that just because you invaded that space that that country is automatically obligated to take care of you for life?”
How ’bout it Richard? If I come barging into your house, will you change the way you live, support me, and give me everything I DEMAND just because I demand it, whether you want to give it to me or not? Are you going to lock up a moral, hard-working man for not being part of your family, and no other known crime?
Oooooo, Richard!
You mean, the border fence is REALLY to keep all of us IN???
Oooooo, …
BigOrangeAxe:
Um, if I came to your town and invaded your home, I’d be breaking the law. If I came to your town, got a job and a place to live and paid for it with money I earned, where’s the crime? You’re not one of those ‘Dumb Americans’ who can’t tell the difference between immigration and home invasion, are you?
You’ve just equated one’s country with one’s home. If you don’t lock your house, did you know its not illegal to enter your home? So by this logic, its not illegal to enter an open country either, right? (Especially one famous for the phrase, “Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to live free”) I am an American who still yearns to live free!!!
Its also amazing, that the guy from Austria who’s governor of California (and admittedly a former fan of a German leader named Adolf) seems to be anti-immigration (lol). Remember a few years ago when he said the law preventing foreign-born citizens to be president should be repealed too? But not for him to be president, NO! He just thought it was right. I guess he doesn’t think so anymore.
So, um yeah, if you don’t get it, those people are selling something, and you’ve watched so many ads on TV, you think its the show.
Good Morning, America. Its time to wake up.
WOW Richard, you sure blew a lot of type on a post that was meant to be funny. I think there’s a bridge in LA with your name under it.
You’ve just equated one’s country with one’s home. If you don’t lock your house, did you know its not illegal to enter your home? So by this logic, its not illegal to enter an open country either, right?
Wrong – nice try, Richard. It’s illegal entry, even if you left the door wide open, if the invader “has no legal right to be in the structure”:
http://www.albany.edu/sourcebook/pdf/app8.pdf
And that includes your outbuildings – as Marshall Gerard put it in “The Fugitive,” “…every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area.”
If you DO lock the door, then it’s breaking AND entering.
Neither I nor most of the people resenting this Mexican invasion is anti-immigrant, regardless of the origin of the “huddled masses.” We’re anti ILLEGALS. I want the best, brightest, most motivated persons of any race, color, creed or point of origin to be able to come here legally and become citizens. I do not want American citizenship to become the “push, pull or drag sale” for the entire planet …
P.S. Great post, Lair & kitties.
B&E, vs illegal entry, good point. Thanks for quoting Albany, what’s Harrisburg say? Probably the same. Regardless…
We have hotels and friends and relatives, lots of legal places to stay on vacation or whatever, so nothing wrong with that right? But if someone parks their ass on my front lawn, I’ll have somthing to say about it. If they’re staying with family or bought their own place, then the only thing making them illegal is that we’re not letting them pay taxes on the money they earn here, only the money they spend? And taxes are so American like apple pie and baseball we can’t have illegals paying them, right? Cuz then they’d have a right to the citizens’ services we all fear they’re burdening us with, but the truth is we let our own bums burden us already. People talk about welfare reform, well reform the welfare system to fix welfare, not immigration.
The goals of most people in government jobs are to get paid more for doing less work (hmm, like the rest of us, how interesting…) but if you’re writing your own check will you ever vote to downsize your job?
So we’re now paying a lot of money for an inefficient government (if there was one run by Walmart across the street you know you’d switch) who is motivated and allowed to use its power to strengthen itself, even at the expense of its constituency.
‘…blew a lot of type’?
I guess if you’re used to listening to someone who can barely deliver a meaningful message without stuttering over the big words, that might seem like a lot. If this seemed like a lot, have you never cracked the bible, quran, or any other meaningful book? There’s lots more type in there, and probably a lot more wisdom. If only we’d read it instead of hitting each other over the head with it.
By the way, my family was here before all of yours, so you can all get off my lawn. Thank you.
(LOL, jk of course, I’m from England, we’ve only been here hundreds of years. But please stay off my lawn unless I invite you. The motel around the corner has rooms if you behave. The police station around the corner has cells if you don’t. That’s good enough for me. I don’t care where you’re from.)
Hey Richard, if there’s no such thing as an “illegal immigrant”, and it’s ok for mexicans to just hop over the border whenever they feel like it, then surely it’s ok for the US to send 150,000 Americans to Iraq. How can it be an “illegal war”; they’re just traveling to another country to find some work.
wow, that Richard guy is a real idiot.
I’m sorry that I missed all of the fun. I was enthralled by the snazzy cat pictures.
The illegal immigrant bottom line is:
IT IS ILLEGAL TO ENTER THIS COUNTRY WITHOUT PERMISSION. Just like it is illegal to take food from the grocery store without paying for it. Both will land your sorry tail in jail, if you’re caught. Once you have illegally entered the country you are a criminal. Because you are here illegally you can’t get a Soc. Sec. card, so you can’t pay taxes. Unless of course you get a fake one and then you’re twice the criminal you were. How do you get your children in school, you lie and get them fake birth certificates or you give birth to them here counting on the goodness of the American people not to send your butt back to wherever it is you came from. If you’re sick you go to the hospital and take up time and money from people who pay for insurance or who are allotted that time or money because they are LEGAL citizens. There is no butts about it. Illegals are costing everyone in time, money and jobs. If there are truly 12 million of them, they could go to Mexico and take over. Let’s see them do a better job. Then maybe we’ll sneak in there.