Evil Glenn Says, “Happy Satan Day, Everybody!”

(A Filthy Lie)
On Tuesday, June 6th of this year, the date will be 6-6-6, which means nothing to atheists like myself, but for Christians it has some evil, Satanic connotations.
And since Evil Glenn is Satan’s #1 fan, ya gotta figure he’s got some kind of celebratory activities planned.
My guesses:


  • Undo his comb-over so that the 666 tattoo on his scalp is clearly visible.
  • Invite Michelle Malkin over for minced-kitten brownies & puppy shakes.
  • Make up a Rocky-Horror-style script of things to yell at the screen while watching “The Omen“.
  • Yes, that will include some made-up songs where he robot-dances in a black teddy & stockings.
  • Hold a hobo-murderthon to raise money for Soldier’s Angels. Recommended donation – a buck a bum.
  • Launch doomsday missile while shrieking insane laughter.
  • Direct the remake of Serenity with a politically correct script.
    MAL: “I aim to misbehave.”
    ZOE: “But Mal! You might hurt someone’s feelings!”
    MAL: “Didn’t think about that. I better put myself in time-out until I calm down a mite.
  • Go to a local park and blow up 62 hobos with illegal fireworks. If caught, claim that it was a celebration of the 62nd anniversary of D-Day.
  • Sign up for classes to get his doctorate in Mad Science.
  • Set off Cthulhu‘s alarm clock so that he’ll be dead but awake.
  • THAT’LL show that stupid, lazy elder-God.
  • On-line Ouija board marathon!.
  • Smugly admit to Frank J. that HE’S the one who’s been re-programming his fruit-picking robots to turn on their human masters.
  • Pilfer the demon currently possessing Helen Thomas for his own personal use.
  • Just give up and let the voices in his head take over.

And through it all, you can bet there’ll be only one song playing on his iPod… over and over and over…

Why this picture should be a poster…

Before we wrap up for the weekend I want to state openly that life is indeed very good.
I’d even like to share a picture with you of my two favorite things.
twofavoritethings.jpg
This should sooooo be a poster.
It needs somethng though. Maybe Michelle Malkin reaching out offering you a beer?
I don’t know.
If you have suggestions to make this picture perfect – then please post in comments.

Fun Trivia

If we don’t go see Al Gore’s movie, what will happen?

Continue reading ‘Fun Trivia’ »

Fun Trivia

What happens if we do see Al Gore’s movie?

Continue reading ‘Fun Trivia’ »

Adolph Moulitsas

I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m pretty sure Kos is the next Hitler. He just put a book out of his crazy beliefs – much like Hitler did. Kos is angry all the time – just like angry ‘ole Hitler – and has a fanatical following of other angry nutsos. You know it’s only a matter of time before he calls for violence against his “enemies” such as poor Joe Lieberman and the “neocons” he is convinced are destroying society.
Yep, Kos is the next Hitler, alright. We better keep an eye on him. I bet the Holocaust could have been prevented if someone had just punched Adolph in his dumb monkey face before he got too crazy.

Time to Punch Our Way Through Disillusionment

It seems a lot of people are disillusioned with politicians these days, so I think the only solution is that I finally run for office. My only promise is that I will punch people. Also, I’ll smash things, kick over table and chairs, and rip up papers. I might also burn things.
If some reporter asks where I stand on issues, I’ll punch him in the face. That’s the message I want to get across. I think this will really appeal to people, because the American people want more action from their politicians.
So who do I punch first to start running for office?

ManBearPig Facts

FACT: ManBearPig is half man, half bear, half pig.
FACT: ManBearPig wants to destroy everything you care about.
FACT: If ManBearPig is not stopped, BILLIONS WILL DIE OVER THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS!
FACT: If you remain ignorant of the threat of ManBearPig, YOUR GRANDCHILDREN WILL DIE!
FACT: I’m feeling a little woozy.

BTW

In two days it’s National Gun Safety Day… and something else even more important.

Oh, Snap!

Ever envy those people who just snap and kill someone? Me, killing always takes lots of planning and fretting and sleepless nights… and many times something comes up that completely distracts me and I never even get to the actual killing.
So how is your day?

Global Warming Facts

FACT: There is global warming. It’s not just an urban legend to make you buy AC units.
FACT: The main culprit for global warming is the sun. You may think that assertion is ridiculous since we are separated from the sun by the vast vacuum of space, but heat can be transferred by radiation WHICH CAN EVEN OCCUR THROUGH A VACUUM!
FACT: Global warming is affected by the actions of man. If you don’t believe me, fiddle with the thermostat. The temperature will change because of your actions, THE ACTIONS OF MAN!
FACT: If we don’t do anything about global warming, BILLIONS WILL DIE OVER THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS!
FACT: If you remain ignorant about the issue, YOUR GRANDCHILDREN WILL DIE!
FACT: I am not a climatologist, BUT I CAN WRITE IN ALL CAPS!
FACT: All of these actually are facts.
So what are you going to do?

Friday Catblogging

Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d spread the joy of humor-free, apolitical Friday Catblogging to IMAO (aka “I-MEOW”).
Sure, some of the IMAO bloggers have cats, but apparently I’m the only one of them who has the Sixth Sense that allows me to see where blogging and cats converge on the Spiritual Plane.
Anyway, it’s time for Nardo the Loud:


If you’re not sure how this absurd scene pertains to IMAO, since IMAO is famous for that “political humor” thing, it doesn’t. If you must have some semblance of politics or humor in everything you read here, just assume that Nardo is… um…
Help me out here. Make your suggestions in the comments how this scene is, in fact, a political allegory.
(For more animal goodness, try Friday Ark today and Carnival of the Cats Sunday, so send your catblogging links to submissions @ carnivalofthecats.com.)


You can find more examples of Friday catblogging by searching a blog search engine such as Technorati for “catblogging.”
You can also find a roundup of catblogging posts at The Friday Ark, located at The Modulator blog. Then, when the weekend is nearly over, head over to The Carnival of the Cats for more kitty goodness. There’s also a Flikr Group called Furry Friday.
Add to that Weekend Catblogging at Eatstuff.
Anybody I miss?