Q: Since the MPAA has some kind of problem with films that mention Jesus repeatedly these days, harshly rating otherwise G-rated films for strong Christian content, would 1973’s Jesus Christ: Superstar still be rated G today?
Continue reading ‘This has got to be killing him… I mean… I didn’t mean to say that…’ »
Has anyone on the left mentioned John Murtha’s remarks about Somalia and Okinawa on Meet the Press? I checked Technorati, but it seem the left has ignored his interview except for maybe a, “Heh. He said Karl Rove has a big butt,” comment.
If you have a link, please put it in the comments. I’m quite curious if there’s a rational argument out there that Murtha is not bat-@#$% insane.
But this better work this time, or we could just encourage the poofy-haired to unleash more poofy-haired threats.
But shooting down North Korea’s test missiles would be so cool. If it happens, Bush should immediately hold a press conference which should consist solely of a Nelsonian, “Haw haw!”
Q: Which door hit Dan Rather in the ass as he left CBS?
Continue reading ‘Now that Dan Rather is leaving CBS, the network will be renamed “C”’ »
Christine Rosen, on the other hand, is just dumb.
Everyone has heard from Murtha’s interview on Meet the Press about how our failure in Somalia is a model to follow and that operation in the Middle East can be conducted from Okinawa, but did you hear the other military advice he had?
MORE MILITARY ADVICE FROM REPRESENTATIVE JOHN MURTHA
* “Chimpanzees can be trained to use a rifle just as easily as a man. The smart thing to do is to send armed chimps into urban combat zones.”
* “Decision shouldn’t be made by people in air conditioned rooms sitting on their large behinds, because AC destroys brain cells. I once got my head stuck in an AC unit, and I haven’t been the same since.”
* “President Coolidge’s failure against the Ewoks demonstrated that it is too difficult to take on an entrenched enemy, even if we have a weapon capable of destroying planets.”
* “Zarqawi could have been captured just as easily by conducting operations outside of Iraq… or maybe even underwater if our foreign policy hasn’t ruined our relations with Aquaman.”
* “Combat should be done by our robots. And don’t tell me we don’t have robots, because I just saw one this morning and it stole and ate my pills for fuel.”
* “It’s foolish to think that running from Iraq means we’re abandoning it. Wherever we run to, we’ll eventually have to run from there, too… and then we’ll run from there. Eventually, we’ll run right back to Iraq when it’s less scary than whatever is outside it.”
* “We also need to get our troops out of Wisconsin. I was there recently, and I saw some teenagers that scared me. Something is going to erupt there soon, and we don’t want to be caught in the middle of it.”
BEGINNING OF STORY
PREVIOUS (PART 3)
Doug soon caught up with Lulu and Charlene and matched their pace as they ran for the battle-mech. “Uh… so what exactly are we doing?”
Charlene kept focused on the figures ahead. “I’m going to climb that mech and you two will cover me. I know where the emergency release for the cockpit is, so I should be able to take out the pilot. When the mech is under my control, just stay back.”
Doug ran that over in his mind. “So just shoot at whoever is shooting at you, right?”
“That would be the definition of cover fire. I’m not going to be able to defend myself as I’m climbing the mech.”
Keeping someone from getting shot seemed a bigger responsibility than Doug was ready for. He hoped Lulu had a better idea of what to do, but she was shaking and wide-eyed, looking ready to bolt any second. The numerous bodies they had to step over on their way weren’t encouraging, either.
Charlene brought her rifle up. “They see us.” She fired, and a few soldiers ahead fell to the ground.
There was a huge eruption of gunfire in response. Lulu shrieked and dived for cover behind an overturned truck. Doug stuck with Charlene and fired, though he wasn’t quite sure at what. The mech then pivoted to face them, its giant guns now pointed in their direction.
“We’ll only be safe from its weapons when we’re directly below it,” Charlene called out and shot off some more rounds.
Doug nodded and then saw the ground explode all around him as the mech fired. He ran even quicker now, not bothering to fire as he couldn’t see or hear anything other than the explosions. When he could see something again, it was the mech looming over him.
Charlene pulled him out of the way of the mech’s foot. “Cover fire!” She slung her rifle over her shoulder and started to climb the mech. Bullets were ricocheting off the mech’s legs from all directions, and Doug fired as often as he could as he kept ducking both the return fire and the mech’s moving feet. His rifle clicked empty, and Doug quickly pulled out another magazine as he accidentally bumped into the mech’s foot and fell over. He saw three soldiers running towards him. Doug kept trying to put another magazine into his rifle, then realized he was doing it backwards. Just as the soldier got a bead on him, a burst of gunfire dropped the three.
Doug saw a large metal foot coming down. He rolled out of the way and finally reloaded his gun. He wondered where the saving shots came from, but then remembered Charlene. He looked up for her, and then had to dodge a falling body. The mech began firing again, but this time at the enemy soldiers. “Die!” Charlene’s voice echoed out of the mech’s speakers.
Doug ran back for safety, taking glances at the mech that now chased the enemy. A hand grabbed him and sent him to the ground. Above him was Bryce. He and Lulu were apparently now both hiding behind the overturned truck, and Bryce looked angry. “You almost ruined my plans getting killed out there! The arrangement has always been that I plot and you carry things, so let’s not repeat this.”
“Hey! You saved me, didn’t you?”
Bryce helped Doug to his feet. “Just feel lucky I realized that, with the current timetable for said plans, there wasn’t enough time to find a replacement for you.”
“What plans?” Lulu asked.
Bryce looked taken aback by the question. Doug had long ago stopped asking about Bryce’s schemes because he never gave a straight answer. Bryce looked Lulu over and then something seemed to click in his mind. “I’ll explain them soon enough. This will change our lives, and you’re quite crucial to it… uh…”
“Lulu. Am I going to have to carry stuff?”
“Of course not. That’s Doug’s job– and you’re going to be in charge.”
Lulu’s eyes brightened. “Ooh! Sounds fun!”
Doug looked out towards the mech and its carnage. “Do we need to help Charlene?”
There were many explosions and screams in the distance. “I think she has it under control,” Bryce said.
Lulu looked out from behind the truck. “No fair! They get to retreat.”
Bryce walked out from cover. “Life isn’t fair.”
The three then watched for a while as the battle-mech chased the enemy over the horizon and cries of “Die, cowards, die!” echoed out of its speakers. Soon Bryce set down the blanket again and went back to eating lunch.
NEXT
Excellent news! The prisoners of Meow Mix House (aka “Kitty Gitmo”) are resisting their captors!
The prognosis is not looking good for Jim Baen. Here’s a good description of Baen’s contribution to science fiction I found linked by Glenn Reynolds.
Please keep Jim Baen and his family in your prayers.
As anyone who pays attention knows, the Democrats are embroiled in a “Culture of Crazy.” With Democrats assaulting police officers, saying we can conduct Middle East affairs out of Okinawa, hiding money in their freezers, and sucking up to the biggest loons on the internet, it is obvious they are waist deep in craziness. Is there any doubt in anyone’s mind that Howard Dean would bite you if you looked at him wrong? Of course not.
Can the Democrats get out of this mire of insanity? I’m doubtful. As we speak, Kos is either plotting against Democrats he thinks are not faithful to his lunacy or eating his own excrement. After that, the Democrat leadership will then try to court him for his approval. Why? Because the Democrats are so far into crazy they don’t know the way out. I hear they are thinking of moving their headquarters to Okinawa to more quickly respond to issues in the U.S.
Remember: Urge everyone to not vote Democrat; it’s the only way to stop their Culture of Crazy. Losing will probably make them crazier, though, so make sure to keep an eye on any Democrats you see and to keep your children away from them. There’s no telling what a Democrat may say or do if left unchecked, but it’s quite certain it will be crazy!
What’s the worst part about flying from Orlando to Boise to visit my parents?
