I have been warned not to liveblog Meow Mix House here under threat of severe beating. Not only would this be painful, but it would get Spacemonkey jealous because he’s in charge of the getting beaten department here at IMAO. (He has a Masters of Don’t Hurt Me! Not In The Face! Not In The Face! from Stanford, you know.)
However, if I were to bet on any cat, it would be Molly because she’s from Houston and she looks like she could tear apart a couch in less than sixty seconds.
Yay Molly! Go Molly Go!
I’m looking forward to Sam’s Dallas-ass getting kicked by Molly for the big prize. Because we all know Dallas sucks compared to Houston.
Oh, and when are they going to turn on the Meowcam? I’d brag about the fact that I’ve got six catcams to their one meowcam, but there aren’t any cats on my six catcams right now… maybe they’re trying to hack the DVD player again. (Or hack something up on it)
Top Ten Signs Your Cat Is Too Fat
10- Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.
9- Guests use him for a beanbag chair.
8- Always lands on her spleen.
7- No longer cleans self unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
6- Catfood dish replaced with a trough.
5- Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pantsuit.
4- No longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
3- Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.
2- Has more chins than lives.
The Number One Reason that your cat may be getting too fat – Only catches mice that get trapped in her gravitational pull.
Okay, Laurence, bad enough that you sully IMAO with your vile cat-related blogging, but to go so far as to say that “Dallas sucks compared to Houston”??? What, pray tell, are you smoking? As one who has lived in the Houston area, the San Antonio area, and (currently) the Dallas area, I needn’t wax eloquent about which of those three sucks the most, so I won’t.
Houston sucks the most.
All Texans know that San Antonio is actually the ideal, and that both the others are bloated sacks of teeming humanity, but hey, you gotta live somewhere, and that’s why God created suburbs. Besides, the even the stupid Mavs are superior to the Rockets, and I’m going to a Rangers game tonight even though they usually stink (I’ll have to concede the Astros to ya). Oh, well…this comment had nothing to do with cats, did it?
That’s ’cause cats suck, too.
If cats really sucked, more lonely single geeks would own them. Just saying.
I’m sorry, Laurence, but Sam is the best looking of the lot, followed by Jo. Plus I like the fact that Jo uses a Scratching Post three times a day, if you know what I mean.
😉
I was going to say Jo is the coolest, but she reeks of high maintenance and clinginess. That easily drops her out of the top three. So I’ll go with Belle. She seems cool and smart. I’d guess that she’s probably funny too.