Ann Coulter may scare Frank J., but you have to admit, the woman IS right. About everything. More right than Rush Limbaugh, More right than Newt Gingrich and waaaaaaay,( should that be caps?, yes, it should) WAAAAAAAY, more right than W.
So far right, in fact, that it’s nearly impossible to get anywhere to the right of her. But I think it’s the duty of each of us IMAO conservatives make an effort to do just that. So, I am throwing down the gauntlet.
GET RIGHT OF COULTER OR GET LEFT!
We need to make her look moderate by comparision.
My first contribution. We need to get rid of the electric chair and lethal injection as a means of capital punishment. “But, but, but, but, Mr Monkey, you’re talking about ending the death penalty! How’s that left of Coulter, your confusing me!”, you might be saying at this point, But you could not be further from the truth than if you’d loaned the truth some money. Lethal injection and the electric chair could be considered cruel and unusual by some. It’s definitely cruel, and you don’t hardly ever hear about people accidentaly strapping themseves to a bed or a chair or any other type of furniture and dying an electrical or drug induced death.
No thats what makes them unusual to some people. Who has a cross shaped bed at home anyway? Besides maybe Bono. The death penalty for people who’ve been convicted of capital crimes should be restricted to purposefully infecting them with deadly diseases, more than one disease is good, as soon as they are convicted. And then not treat them for those diseases.
We let God’s will or survival of the fittest, if you swing that way, be the appeals process. If they get well? They don’t die! Otherwise, life, albeit a short miserable life ending in death in prison. Either way it’s a life sentence. So, in a way my plan does eliminate the death penalty. It changes the options from life or death to life or short, miserable, diseased life with the (slight) possibily of immunity.
People die from untreated diseases all the time, all over the world. Is it cruel? Sure, you bet, giving people deadly diseases is probably as cruel as murder is heinous. But it’s not cruel AND unusual. And THAT’S what makes it constitutional.
And it also makes me righter than Coulter.
Mr. Monkey, you win.
You’re the Coulterest.
Real Prison Reform
1. All terms are at Hard Labor.
2. No concurrent sentences-you serve the time for EACH crime and can only be eligible for parole during the last one.
3. All attempted Appeals must be bundled into one suit and filed together.
“But you could not be further from the truth than if you’d loaned the truth some money”
LOL!
And they pay their own way, I didn’t commit any crime why am I paying for the criminal’s food and medical treament?
Bread, water, and an enclosed 8×8 concrete slab are free, anything else must be earned or paid for by the inmate. And no TV.
I suggest killing deaf row inmates by hitting them with Ford F-150s at seventy miles an hour. Cruel, yes. Unusual, no.
I suggest tattooing an “M” for molester across the faces of child molesters. Unusual, but hardly cruel. And WAY more effective than some crappy sex offender registry.
In lieu of the death penalty:
Deportation to the saudi-occupied territories. In a tutu and yarmulke. Unless they’re moslem, in which case it’s deportation to North Korea in a suit made of porkchops and kimchee.
Liberals are fond of identifying their beliefs with gestures and other symbols (e.g. the two-fingered peace sign during the War on Terror), I say let’s paint a big red “L” on their foreheads. In fact, let’s make it a law. You should have to register as a liberal with the federal government and as a sense-offender with the community you live in, then you get your snazzy “L” tatoo.
Think of it as a community service. If you, as a liberal, are going to open up the noisy sphincter on your face and spout the inane, trite, liberal ka-ka we’ve come to expect, you should warn people first. Like the Surgeon General’s warning on the side of a pack of smokes, the “L” mark is a necessary notification of the dangers of cancerous brain-rot if people listen to you. We could call it the “Mark of the Beast Legislature”.
Q: Hey, wait a minute, that’s just like the sign for “loser”?
A: What’s your point?
I’ll let others decide where I’m at in relation to the lovely, talented, intellectual Ms. Coulter, but if I haven’t quite made it past her yet, I’ll keep trying.
I think Attila the Hun was to the right of Ann Coulter. He was pretty hard on widows too. Created a good many too. That’s something Ann doesn’t have going for her.
I think it’s an underused name too. Not enough parents name their children Attila.
Was that really Coulter?
I don’t know. You mentioned survival of the fittest without calling it a religion or mentioning that it has no physical evidence. She may still be to your right on some positions.
The reason Ann’s statements are so good, is; not only does she take all the PC crap out, but she words it specifically to pi$$ off liberals. Take your “red L’ example from above by TechnoSapien. That would be fine but it would not pi$$ off the liberals enough. What you would need to do is have Jerry Falwell tatoo the Red L on their heads. And then every time you say “Jerry Falwell” you say “peace be upon him” after it. That will fire them up. Same goes for George Bush (peace be upon him).
Is Ted Nugent to the right of Ann Coulter?
Death penalty? Lop their heads off! Abortion advocates? Lop their heads off! Anti-war protestors? Lop their heads off! Tax reform detractors? Lop their ehads off! Illegal immigrants? Lop their heads off! Whiney liberals? Lop their heads off(or at least puch them in their dumb monkey faces)! NEA bureaucrats? Lop their heads off! Thank you.
What Ann does, and Rush too, is not only show the true shallowness of the “Politically Correct” outlook, but does so with humor.
Slightly off-topic — does anyone have a link to a transcript of her on Leno last night? I missed the show but would really enjoy reading what transpired.
Your plan is too confusing. I like al’s plan: hit’em with a F-150. Simple. Nice.
Doable.
btw, would this be a good time to nominate Ann for Prez? cuz, you know, we’re not really getting our money’s worth out of all those nuclear weapons we’ve got layin around, an I think Ann is just the one to implement FrankJ’s Realistic Plan for World Peace
I like the F-150 idea, but I still think we can save a little gas and throw them off a 4th story building. Better hope you die quick. It would be particularly unfortunate to actually survive such an event. Either way, I win.
The problem with the F-150 idea is it is too merciful.
They need to suffer and suffer and suffer some more, all the while knowing that nobody is going to do anything to help them, before finally dying.
Not vroom, splat, “the end.”
The only problem with most of the death penalty ideas seems to be technology. Four horses and some rope work well enough for an ol’ fashion drawing and quartering. Horrid, disgusting, extremely painful from my estimation and with precedent which of course negates the unusual portion of the requirements. As an added bonus we could commute the sentances allong the US-Mexico border to scare away those pesky gardeners.
Speaking of wich. At last check, only US citizens were given rights by the Constitution. Which in my mind places border-jumpers squarely in the target practice realm (Sorry Muhkbar Al-Zardouchebag no jobs there anymore). They certainly aren’t refugees but they are a forgein horde crossing into soverign land. My ancestors were immagrants too you know, they followed the rules however, Paris Island, US History, English Language, Citizenship Tests, English Language (did I allready say that?). Regardless, I’ll have my chessesteak with, thank you very much.
Eva,
A little late I know, but go to vince aut morire for the link to youtube video of Anne (PBUH) on the tonight show. I was amazed. She got a great response from the crowd.
Right of Ann…mustard gas instead of tear gas for marxist rioters. That might deter them.
Oops, I meant Ann, not “Anne”
I say bring back crucifixion!
Brian — Got it. Thanks!
Ok, no one is thinking. Why not use the extremely ethical, liberal-approved method of starving and dehydrating them to death…like terri schiavo? Now, my doctor friends tell me that’s a horrible death, so in order to make it fun to watch, you might want to make sure they are mobile and able to speak when you do it and able to ask for food and water (unlike terri). lets see if it passes the constitutional test. Cruel? depends on which half of the country you believe. Unusual, not really, AMA approved! We can make it a bit of a game, if you can survive long enough to make all your appeals, then all righty then, but if not, well, who’s fault is that? They were the ones that didn’t last very long without food and water, we did nothing except deprive them of it. I don’t see food and water as a fundamental criminal right, do you?
Perhaps I’m not farther right than Ann, but she’s a trained professional, I wouldn’t want to hurt myself.