With the New York Times publishing about yet another programming in current use to spy on terrorists – thus ruining the program – there has been much debate about press responsibility. The New York Times seemed to dismiss any questions about its integrity and how its reporting might help terrorists while doing little to inform the public. To get their full stance, I, Frank J., was able to get this exclusive statement from the new head of the NYT…
GENERAL ZOD!
Here is what he had to say:
Foolish mortals, how dare you question the press or Zod? The powers we have are beyond your comprehension. Check the Constitution of your own pathetic nation; we, the press, have been granted unlimited power. You should feel honored that we let you read from the great trove of wisdom that is the New York Times even though your limited, non-journalist brains could hardly understand even a thousandth of our writing.
And do you really fear that our reporting will help terrorists? Fool! You should fear Zod! We, the press – being greater than you mortals – having nothing to fear from bombs or guns, but we could easily tell the terrorists when and where to kill you… or I could kill you all myself! Nothing can stop the New York Times or Zod!
You may think our reduced circulation has weakened us, but you are wrong! We are all the more dangerous! To our eight loyal subscribers, Zod has determined that your lives will be spared. To all others, fear the wrath of Zod! If you question the New York Times again, I will destroy you!
Bow before the New York Times!
Kneel before Zod!
There you have it; the official statement for the NYT. I thought it came off as a little arrogant, but not as bad as anything Bill Keller has written.
I vote we get Pamela at Atlas Shrugs, Michelle Malkin and maybe even me to wear those Zod costumes, that’s what I vote for. As for the NYT, Zod certainly would be an improvement over the current mananagement. No games, no bullshit, total honesty and instant death to those who dare question the Grey Lady!
FrankJ:
Stealing comedy ideas from other people’s websites.
Kinda pathetic.
Stratch that.
Very pathetic.
In the future, if you are going to steal other people’s ideas, can you at least make them funny?
Thanks,
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
What did Frank “steal”?
Just because Zod has a Web site he can’t be made fun of?
Zod has a website? Is it like a blog, because I thought all those NYT snobs look down on those?
It better not be a fake website claiming to be by Zod, because that would greatly anger him.
My Benevolent Overlord Kal El will hear of this and destroy the evil that is the New York Times….and thus increase the circulation of the Daily Planet; see that works for everybody.
mfl critter-“Frankj hasn’t made fun of me yet today. That makes my monkey tail hurt. But it doesn’t hurt like Frankj makes it hurt; better go make another retarded comparision if I wanna get my daily dose.”
Monkey Faced Liberal:
It’s pathetic of you to steal from Frank J., and even worse that you did so blatantly by naming yourself after a line he uses all the time.
You’re pathetic.
No, you’re very pathetic.
Come on! Somebody pay me attention! I want attention!
Look at me! I’m doing a little monkey dance!
I NEED MORE ATTENTION!
Sorry-
Should have been “shoe” rather than “show” in the previous post.
I guess I better lay off the bong for awhile!
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
Bah! I taught Zod everything he knows and what thanks do I get? Nothing! Off he goes and conquers a few galaxies and leaves me with a piddling island with malaria and pedal driven fighter planes!
Pah! I spit on him! Pah! Pah! Twice I spit!……
(sigh Ran off with my PR team too. Top rate. I still have more medals. Yes. His uniform still needs more medals. What self-respecting dictator can be seen without medals?)
Quit stealing my name.
And you better not steal my idea for a movie.
It involves apes taking over the Earth.
Humans are kept in cages, like how you wingnuts should be in Gitmo!
And their vocal cords are cut, so no more backtalk exposing our scheme to use global warming to steal your money.
Hail Satan,
Monkey Faced Liberal
//And you better not steal my idea for a movie.
It involves apes taking over the Earth.//
And this explains why the ape village in the movie was the remnants of NEW JERSEY!!
MFL, you sill nit…
you can’t just “cut” vocal cords. Its not like a ‘lectrical cord, silly!
They are two flaps of cartiledge on oppisite sides of the hyoid.
If you really were sm’rt, y’d know this instead of some country bumkin doc tellin’ ya!
Nitty!
MFL you ignorant slut. I toss a penny into your little organ grinder’s cup as you do your pitiful little monkey dance. Is Zod in the next Harry potter movie?