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While waiting for backup, Doug did his best to make sure the excess peanut butter and jelly sandwiches he and Bryce had didn’t go to waste. Both Lulu and Charlene said they weren’t hungry, and Doug couldn’t blame them, as the battlefield was now filled with odd smells, none of them pleasant.
When someone did come, it was just one troop transport to fly them back to base. Charlene questioned this, and they were told the General would explain. At base, they were marched straight to his office.
General Daniels didn’t look in the best of shape. His eyes were bloodshot, his face was a couple days unshaven, and he was probably drunk – or was going to be soon from how he was constantly pouring himself more whiskey. He took a swig from his glass and then looked up from his desk at the four in front of him. “Oh yeah, you guys.”
Doug was still standing at attention along with Lulu and Charlene, but Bryce was leaning casually against a wall. “I was expressing concern about how, when we left the battlefield, there were no new forces to relieve us,” Charlene said.
The General took another drink. “Yeah… well, to be honest, I didn’t prepare for the contingency that we’d actually win.”
Doug, as usual, was confused, so he looked at Charlene. She appeared surprised for a moment, but regained herself to her neutral expression as she addressed the General. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s a numbers thing, Murphy.” The General finished off his glass and poured another. “Considering what you all went through, I guess the least I can do is explain the decision making behind this mission. The higher-ups like to keep tabs on a number of different stats. They noted that, while all parts of the military are now 50/50 gender-wise, most of the casualties are men, and that perhaps showed some sort of sexism in women’s role in our fine military. I was told to fix that.” He chuckled. “And, since I can’t bring men back to life, my only option was to get women killed to even up the ratio. Thus I made a whole squadron of you ladies and sent you on a suicide mission. The problem was I accidentally put you on it, Murphy, which was an oversight on my part… in my defense, though, I’ve been drunk the past few days.”
Doug tried unsuccessfully to process all that and looked at the others. Charlene could not contain her shock this time. Lulu appeared mortified. Bryce was checking the cleanliness of his nails. Then a thought occurred to Doug. “So why were Bryce and I included in this?”
“I just don’t like you two and was thinking, ‘Well, as long as I’m killing people off…'” He laughed and took another drink. “Anyway, you all actually winning this battle has put some egg on my face, but that’s not your fault. I’ll try and get you guys some medals, but until then, I got you some gift certificates for the mall.” The General stood up and handed each of them an envelope. “I award you these for your great valor in serving the divine Empress Proserpine yadda yadda yadda.” The General plopped back into his seat and poured whiskey into a couple more glasses. He sipped at one for a bit while the others stared blankly at their gift certificates – except for Bryce, who quickly pocketed his after checking its value. After a few seconds of silence, the General looked up at the four again. “Still here? You all standing there is really starting to annoy me. Either leave, snap and kill me, or have a glass of whiskey.”
Doug felt like getting out of there. Charlene appeared ready to cry. Lulu was just shaking and seemed to be mumbling something. Bryce, on the other hand, stepped forward. “Guess I’ll have some whiskey, then.” He picked up a glass. “Out of curiosity, how did you pick those women to die? Did you base it on competency or attractiveness?”
“I wussed out of picking anyone and had a list randomly generated… except for adding you and that dummy who’s always following you around.” The General motioned to Doug.
“Hmm.” Bryce took a sip and instantly had a look of disgust. “This whiskey is horrid.”
The General took a big drink. “By the time you get to my rank, you get used to it.”
Charlene suddenly bolted out of the room. Doug started to go after her but realized he had no idea what to say to her. The General slumped down into his chair. “Hell, I was sure she’d kill me. Now I have to make plans for the evening.” He finished his glass. “I’ll never understand women.”
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BEGINNING OF STORY
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Doug soon caught up with Lulu and Charlene and matched their pace as they ran for the battle-mech. “Uh… so what exactly are we doing?”
Charlene kept focused on the figures ahead. “I’m going to climb that mech and you two will cover me. I know where the emergency release for the cockpit is, so I should be able to take out the pilot. When the mech is under my control, just stay back.”
Doug ran that over in his mind. “So just shoot at whoever is shooting at you, right?”
“That would be the definition of cover fire. I’m not going to be able to defend myself as I’m climbing the mech.”
Keeping someone from getting shot seemed a bigger responsibility than Doug was ready for. He hoped Lulu had a better idea of what to do, but she was shaking and wide-eyed, looking ready to bolt any second. The numerous bodies they had to step over on their way weren’t encouraging, either.
Charlene brought her rifle up. “They see us.” She fired, and a few soldiers ahead fell to the ground.
There was a huge eruption of gunfire in response. Lulu shrieked and dived for cover behind an overturned truck. Doug stuck with Charlene and fired, though he wasn’t quite sure at what. The mech then pivoted to face them, its giant guns now pointed in their direction.
“We’ll only be safe from its weapons when we’re directly below it,” Charlene called out and shot off some more rounds.
Doug nodded and then saw the ground explode all around him as the mech fired. He ran even quicker now, not bothering to fire as he couldn’t see or hear anything other than the explosions. When he could see something again, it was the mech looming over him.
Charlene pulled him out of the way of the mech’s foot. “Cover fire!” She slung her rifle over her shoulder and started to climb the mech. Bullets were ricocheting off the mech’s legs from all directions, and Doug fired as often as he could as he kept ducking both the return fire and the mech’s moving feet. His rifle clicked empty, and Doug quickly pulled out another magazine as he accidentally bumped into the mech’s foot and fell over. He saw three soldiers running towards him. Doug kept trying to put another magazine into his rifle, then realized he was doing it backwards. Just as the soldier got a bead on him, a burst of gunfire dropped the three.
Doug saw a large metal foot coming down. He rolled out of the way and finally reloaded his gun. He wondered where the saving shots came from, but then remembered Charlene. He looked up for her, and then had to dodge a falling body. The mech began firing again, but this time at the enemy soldiers. “Die!” Charlene’s voice echoed out of the mech’s speakers.
Doug ran back for safety, taking glances at the mech that now chased the enemy. A hand grabbed him and sent him to the ground. Above him was Bryce. He and Lulu were apparently now both hiding behind the overturned truck, and Bryce looked angry. “You almost ruined my plans getting killed out there! The arrangement has always been that I plot and you carry things, so let’s not repeat this.”
“Hey! You saved me, didn’t you?”
Bryce helped Doug to his feet. “Just feel lucky I realized that, with the current timetable for said plans, there wasn’t enough time to find a replacement for you.”
“What plans?” Lulu asked.
Bryce looked taken aback by the question. Doug had long ago stopped asking about Bryce’s schemes because he never gave a straight answer. Bryce looked Lulu over and then something seemed to click in his mind. “I’ll explain them soon enough. This will change our lives, and you’re quite crucial to it… uh…”
“Lulu. Am I going to have to carry stuff?”
“Of course not. That’s Doug’s job– and you’re going to be in charge.”
Lulu’s eyes brightened. “Ooh! Sounds fun!”
Doug looked out towards the mech and its carnage. “Do we need to help Charlene?”
There were many explosions and screams in the distance. “I think she has it under control,” Bryce said.
Lulu looked out from behind the truck. “No fair! They get to retreat.”
Bryce walked out from cover. “Life isn’t fair.”
The three then watched for a while as the battle-mech chased the enemy over the horizon and cries of “Die, cowards, die!” echoed out of its speakers. Soon Bryce set down the blanket again and went back to eating lunch.
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