(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
The Pew Research Group conducted of survey European, Muslim, and other useless nations and concluded that most people consider the US to be a bigger threat to world peace than Iran’s nuclear program.
Piffle.
Neither one of those is a significant threat to world peace.
You want to know what REALLY threatens world peace? I’ve got a list:
Ted Kennedy’s driver’s license
Global cooling warming temperature stagnation.
People cutting into my traffic lane when I’m not watching the road because I’m busy cleaning my gun.
Saying “Michelle Malkin sure is cute” when SarahK is in the room.
Spanish apes with legal rights. Is there no stopping the accursed monkey menace?
Selling cars so small that you’d be lucky to fit a single clown into them.
My wife changing my Google settings to “Safe Search”. Doesn’t she know that viewing nude olsen twins pictures is crucial to worldwide geopolitical stability?
Any operational printing press at the New York Times.
Toddlers holding chem warfare drills.
Donald Rumsfeld buying a new pair of strangling-gloves and needing to “break them in”.
President Hillary Clinton
Oh, and live terrorists. The US military REALLY needs to do something about that one.
…because terrorists are pretty disappointing live, after hearing their CDs.
I think the biggest threat to whirled peas is European, Muslim, and other useless nations. Let’s face it, other than the odd English or Italian type nation all of them are pretty worthless. And their women are hairy.
Great we’re going to get the SmartCar here? Those damn things have been sold in Germany for several years and they suck. they had to be recalled several times because of rollover problems, insufficient crash-protection (lotsa people becoming gooey fillings in a metal sandwich)and a whole slew of other problems. Betcha we won’t hear about this little Car’s History, though. There’ll be a full-blown Ad-campaign (supported by Libs) about how
“Umweltfreundlich” (environmentally sound) this car is. And all the Libs will sell off their Subaru Foresters to get this piece of $hit.
groan
Porto, enjoy this: You were right. I stand corrected, it was the A-class. Which is of course a TOTALLY different car, having absolutely nothing in common with the SmartCar; especially not size, weight, center of gravity, etc.
Great we’re going to get the SmartCar here?
HKpistole…
No worries…. Just do to the SmartCar here what I did when I was stationed in Mainz… If a Turk that is harrassing you gets out of one, just wait somewhere in the shadows and have a friend help you push it over on to its side. Its not light enough to push it over on your own, but two people can easily do it. If the turk is alone (which they rarely are) he will be like, “Holy crap, my car fell over! How ever will I get it righted?”
But more than likely, the other 15 turks that lurk about whenever an American is around will come out from hiding behind the trees, garbage cans and lampposts and help him fix it.
DAMN THEM TURKS! They like us in Turkey. They like us in America, but meet a Turk in Germany and him and his fifteen Homies will cut you good. (I learned the hard way… If in Wiesbaden, Germany, stay out of the EuroPalace!)
mebbe we can get the dumbed down version of the SmartCar.
I couldn’t evaluate the Danish Mulsim cartoons until I saw them. A SmartCar, check, a plastic-wrapped child, check, and the Olsen twins?
These stupid SmartCars are already here in Dallas. I saw one a month ago and thought “Look at that. Someone put wheels on a pedal-boat.”
Either that or it was a 21st century version of the Flintstones’ car.
Everyone should get a SmartCar but me. I like the idea of being able to pick up and move a car that’s parked in a spot I want.
Also, when I’m riding my motorcycle and some silver-spoon-fed, brain-rotted, daddy’s-money-dependent, mall-rat drama-queen with a cell phone sewn to her cheek cuts me off, I can just kick the car and roll it over in the ditch.
Here’s a tip for those getting one: Make sure you get good insurance. Medical, not auto.
I just hope that VW doesn’t sue them for using the similar advertising slogan “Todvergnugen”….
“whirled peas” mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
What happens when you say “SarahK is Hot!” when Michelle Malkin is in the room?
Did I say “hot”? I mean “hot” in a very respectful way…not in that “lucky t-shirt”, old guy at the news-stand staring at her assets for way too long while he ponders what he might like to do if he…yeah, baby! Throw your head back! Work for the camera!
Frank. F-f-f-Frank. Don’t shake your fist at me Frank. I don’t want to go to the cornfield Frank. Please Frank! No Frank! Fra…!
Oh man, someone on our street has that ugly little car. Can’t tell you how much I wish they’d park it in the garage.
The thing is that small cars used to be CHEAP. Now, you would have to spend $14K+ because they have to pack so much technology into a Mini or whatever for crash protection (so that the driver, when sent flying several hundred feet, will be completely encased in airbags, which in turn will be completely encased in the remains of his car – kinda like a cherry shoved in a Milky Way bar).
Unlike 99.9 percent of people, I don’t find small cars completely ugly (with the exception of the Scion xB – extra butt-ugly). But for heaven’s sake, tiny cars should give you that go-cart feel and be their own brand of cheesy guilty fun like a Vespa/equivalent – CHEAP fun. Making them cost thousands more than a larger vehicle just defeats the purpose of having a run-about as a second car. I don’t foresee getting a Mini as a street-legal go-cart anytime soon, even if BMW did the innards on it.
insufficient crash protection is a perfect reason to start importing them well ahead of when they planned the release.
That’s exactly the kind of vehicle brain-dead liberal doofi will rush to buy …. think how easy it would be to clean up the environment … whereas using a nice clean 1911 .45 on a liberal could get you jail time … good accidents do happen to bad cars. And since liberals don’t learn very fast, if at all (as ably demonstrated by Gore, and Portos) the ranks of those idiots could be thinned pretty quickly (and without much damage to the other vehicles).
😉
Pete,
You know, I was THINKING it… but…
That, and having flashbacks to the South Park this season about Hybrids and the smug pollution issue. Or I think it was Jet Li’s “The One” movie where they jump through alternate realities until they find a “nice” one where everyone drives enclosed motorcycle things and yells out “are you alright?” in metrosexual voices…
It just kills the fun of having mini-cars as street legal gocarts or all-weather motorcycles when lefties coo over them. The mini-car should say “Screw you cop! I’ll drive my go-cart/ATV/whatever-kid-toy where I damn well please!”
Artic Cat now makes a vehicle that is larger with more displacement – shouldn’t THAT be street legal, too?
Crash Protection? Please. I’ll put my Expedition’s pedestrain bar up against the Smart Car’s crash protection any day of the week. Hell, I’d damn near take one on with my Harley and firgure I would come out ahead.