Is Superman Gay?
I never thought twice about it but it seems to be generating a lot of buzz. How can we know that this latest movie version of Superman is gay? Does he change into his tights at Interstate Rest Area Bathrooms? Does he wear a rainbow colored cape? Does the movie end with Lex Luthor in jail and Superman pining: “I wish I could quit you.” ?
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Is Superman Gay?
Top Ten Changes to the Movie That Tell Us Superrman Might Be Gay
10. No rescues performed while Ellen DeGeneres is on.
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9. New crime-fighting uniform features a pair of leather chaps.
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8. Fortress of Solitude gets a pink paint job — and a bidet.
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7. Ends all rescues with the phrase , “That was so fab-ooooo!”
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6. New weaknesses include kryptonite, lead, and Ryan Seacrest.
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5, Constantly asking bank robbers: “Is that a gun in your pocket?”
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4. Runs into burning buildings. Keeps “accidentally” rescuing the firemen.
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3. Takes all captured criminals to the cop from the Village People
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2. Superman’s new secret identity: Cher.
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And the number one change to this movie that tells us Superman just might be gay–
LMAO
ROTFLMAO
You know…all you rump rangers that want to take all my boyhood heros and turn them into perverts can, well go do a “Monica” on Barney Frank! Good grief! Leave the rest of us alone!!!
USSjimmy,
Make me, big boy!
“# 1. The new Lois Lane has an Adam’s apple.” – Does that mean she’s being played by Mr. Glenn Close?
3.5) Superman becomes one of the Village People.
New crime-fighting uniform features a pair of leather chaps.
or consists of only a pair of leather chaps.
11. Superman moves to San Francisco and runs for public office.
11) Closes all of his blog posts “Peace, Monkey Faced Liberal”.
What’s up with the rainbow cape?
He giggles when I kiss him.
#13: Wears a skintight spandex outfit.
Oh wait…
#48-He voted for John Kerry.
Hehehehehe. You guys are bad. The good kind of bad.
#48!!! LMAO!!!
Superman was the last of his kind for a totally different reason than conventionally believed.
All the folks from planet Krypton were gay. That baloney about the sun swallowing the planet was just another phony global warming scare. The real problem was nobody was procreating so the population plummeted. Nobody was left to tend to Kryptons infrastructure.
Yes, Superman is definitely gay.
So happens that we were lounging around the other day watching Spartacus and talkin’ stuff over.
His image is really bothering him lately. He’s kind of getting tired of the super straight farm boy image and all. He thinks it makes him look like a total hayseed. All the other gay superhero’s think he’s still on the fence about things, you know 😉
We decided that all Superman needed was a good makeover. You know a new look. I got to thinkin’ maybe we could switch accessories.
You know, I could lounge around watching gladiator movies wearing the whole blue and red outfit with the gay tights and big S cape. In return Superman gets my lime green socks (three of them). We decided he a matching lime green cape would be cool too. I thought that the cape would look good emblazoned with a giant loud pink ‘SM’ across the back. You know “Super Man”.
You guy’s ought to see him. It’s totally his look. The pizza delivery guy died from fright right on the spot. I had to close his eyes for him. I hate it when dead people keep staring like that. Anyway, Superman is gonna’ tear up the town. He’ll be a hit in every gay bar on the west coast.
As for his crime fighting abilities, I don’t think it will slow him down a bit. He’s really been exerting himself too much recently. We need to find a more efficient approach. With his new look, all he has to do is show up and say something like: “You is my woman now. There’ll be none of that misbehavin’ from no bitch of mine, now.” “Come to Daddy”. I figure all they’ll need to do is call up the coroner and have them pick up the frightened corpse.
Yah, It was too bad about the pizza delivery boy though. After seeing superman standing there at the door wearing nothing but three lime green sock he started hyperventilating and stiff. I told superman he had better pay the guy and let him go quick before he had an accident. Unfortunately that made things a whole lot worse. There’s only so many places you can stuff your cash when your only wearing three lime green socks. You get the picture. Superman reached for his wad (of cash) in the sock. At that moment tears just streamed from the pizza delivery man’s eyes and he gave out the ugliest blood cuddling scream. I can’t imagine a sound like that coming out of a grown mans mouth.
Well, Superman didn’t even get a chance to whip his cash out before the pizza delivery guy died. Such a damn shame though.
This new movie is a MAJOR affront on my Benevolent Overlord Kal El. The pencil neck pool boy chosen by the pink mafia in hollywood is a loser that doesn’t deserve the honor.
Boycott Hollywood >:P
Two guys are standing on the observation platform of the Empire State building. One guy says “you want to see something incredible?”
“Sure” says the other guy.
So the guy jumps and starts falling…only to suddenly change direction and slowly rise to the platform again.
The second guy says “that’s amazing! How’d you do that?”
“I didn’t do anything” the first guy says, “the winds are so strong today it’s creating an updraft. Try it”…
“I don’t know…” says the guy.
“Don’t be a *****, it’s perfectly safe.”
So after thinking about it the guy jumps…and falls screaming to his death.
Batman walks over and says “You know, Superman, you can be a real dick sometimes.”
He’s the man of steel.
Think about it.
One thing…can we have the rainbow back please? What the hell possesed the gay people in this country to steal the rainbow? Something nice and innocent…now no one can have a rainbow without someone thinking you are gay…and…what the hell is up with creating buzz about Superman being gay…get your own hero’s!
You can’t have the rainbow back, unless you’re willing to let a straight man do your hair. And Superman has always been just as gay as Batman and Robin, he’s just happier being single.
You’re probably comfortable with him having to live a “double life”, just so you don’t have to feel insecure about his “super” powers. It’s fine to be that way, just don’t make you have to see it right?
Your a f***ing asshole.. Who in the f*** do you think you are? Dave Letterman? I think not
wtf is wrong with u people
SUPERMAN IS A FAG OK END OF STORY STFU DUMB BITCHES
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lol