Zarqawi lived for 52 minutes after U.S. troops got to him. There are lots of rumors about what his last words are, so here are the…
TOP TEN POSSIBLE LAST WORDS OF ABU MUSAB AL-ZARQAWI
10. “So how big was that bomb you dropped on me? I was thinking at least 500 pounds; am I right?”
9. “If you don’t do what I think you’re going to do with that bacon, I’ll give you each three of my virgins.”
8. “Aiee! You’re standing on my groin!”
7. “To be honest, I never actually finished reading the Koran. How did it end?”
6. “I’ll never tell you where the last canister of centox gas is, Jack Bauer!”
5. “Dude! Where’ my leg?”
4. “My biggest regret is that I won’t get to see Brad Pitt’s and Angelina Jolie’s child grow up.”
3. “I should have listened to my horoscope’s warning that ‘Big things are coming today.'”
2. “Tell my goat I love her.”
And the number one possible last words of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi…
“Ow. Bombs hurt.”
great stuff frank
first
“How are my cats? Are they o.k.?”
What was Zarqawi’s favorite department store? Target.
“Holy Shiite”
“Wow, that’s going leave a mark”
ZARQAWI: Did you find my testicles?
PERSON: What testicles?
ZARQAWI: The pair I bought on Ebay after that U.S. President slept with his intern.
Zarqawi hits forehead with palm of his hand, “Boy, I could have had a V-8!
A man is moving rubble to the side digging Zarqawi out of the smoldering heap…
ZARQAWI: Are you one of my virgins? Damn, you’re ugly.
MAN: You’re not dead…yet, Abu.
ZARQAWI: I’m not? You know, I’ve been thinking: Maybe 70 virgins isn’t worth it after all. What if I just…(flatline)
“Oy gevalt… I mean… aw, crap.”
pitch it to doug.
Damn you guys blowed me up good!
Soldier (seeing Zarqawi amidst the rubble): For a minute I thought you were…
Abu (hushing soldier, finger to his lips): Luciano Pavarati. I get that all the time. Must be the jowls. The irony is I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. Ack! Gurgle!
Soldier: Dude?
Owie…Bactine, please.
“At least I won’t have to read any more posts by Monkey Faced Liberal.”
I see dead people.
One pulled pork sammitch. To go!
“Oh, shucks!…Now, I’ll never find out what IMAO signifies!”
Zarqawi’s last thoughts.
What–.Oh that hurts!
What happened–Oh–.something’s burning man–I can’t hear a damn thing.
Maybe the cook forgot to take off his suicide belt again–.I warned him about what happened to the last cook–.you don’t get 72 virgins for blowing the lamb kebabs all to hell–
Speaking of heaven and hell–I see vague figures coming–Oh Allah the merciful is it what I think it is––.My reward–
–.wait those are army boots–hugh–virgins with army boots–
..no–wait–.
–this isn’t going right–arraaaghhhh––
according to leno, his last words were “i just saved a bunch of money on my car insurence by switching to geico.” but that doesnt have any political or liberal-bashing significance so i guess it doesnt count…
Actually he didn’t say shit, his lungs were crushed by the concussion. I bet that hurt.
Zarqawi: The lights are growing dim Abdul. I know a life of terror has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.
Abdul: That’s bullshit. You’re an Arab Wahabist punk just like me.
Zarqawi: Yeah, but it still hurts.
Damn, damn, damn… and to die only 14 days ’til St. Jean Baptiste Day… gurrrglegurrrgle…
Tell Howard Dean, John Kerry and the rest of the Democrats that our next round of talking points is in a file marked “Goat Recipes” on the network’s G drive.
“safe” house, MY ASS!
Zarqawi’s mother on his passing: “Children, they blow up so fast nowadays!”
“Who will post as ‘monkey faced liberal’ now!?”
omg haha u r so teh funnay.
im so sad that the us have lost the war, but oh my…
“Tell MFL that I will never forget those sitz baths in Basra”
…Zarqawi’s mother on his passing: “Children, they blow up so fast nowadays!”…
LOL!!! Good one, Cap.
“omg haha u r so teh funnay.
im so sad that the us have lost the war, but oh my…”
Is that you, MFL? The spelling skills gave it away.
“Whatdaya mean, ‘Time for my bacon enema’?”
This just goes to prove the old adage…Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Well,Zarqawi was close. He looked up and did the chicken little routine” the sky is falling,the sky is falling ” It was really a couple of 500 pound bombs falling on his head.
Now I really hope that Mohammed was right and that Jesus was only a prophet.