CBS is preparing audiences for the arrival of newsgidget Katie Couric in the CBS Evening News anchor chair:
The soft sell of successor Katie Couric by Bob Schieffer ends with this simple request: “Just watch.”
The promotion that has begun airing on CBS News programs is the first step of CBS News’ sales job for Couric, who starts Sept. 5 as the new “CBS Evening News” anchor.
The idea is to have Schieffer introduce Couric to his audience, and he ad-libs in his amiable style. Couric appears briefly on the screen, looking serious and talking on the phone, but does not speak.
Phase two later this month will be ads featuring Couric talking about the news and how to cover it, said CBS News President Sean McManus. The ads will gradually branch out to other CBS programs, then to other networks, he said.
In August, advertising for Couric’s debut will include specific promotions for segments in the “CBS Evening News,” he said.
“There’s not a great necessity to let people know that she is starting on Sept. 5,” McManus said. “The entire world will know that. We’re trying to give a sense of transition.”
Of course, this being a Big Three broadcast network, these weren’t the only plans CBS came up with.
TEN REJECTED CBS PLANS TO PREPARE VIEWERS FOR KATIE COURIC’S ARRIVAL
10. Really cool effect where the TARDIS discharges a massive energy bolt into Bob Schieffer, causing him regenerate into the form of Katie Couric. (Ooooh! Daleks! Cybermen!)
9. Katie returns to earth as a messiah-figure after spending five years away on her home planet for some reason or another. Oooh! Kevin Spacey as some kind of Rupert Murdoch arch-nemesis figure! (Cool!)
8. Who can remember all these countries! International News is simplified by using the map from the game Risk, thus reducing the world to 42 simple territories (with a land bridge between Brazil and West Africa, too!)
7. Bob Schieffer quests Katie Couric to toss Dan Rather into the fiery pit of Mount Doom from which he was forged.
6. Katie marries Bob Schieffer several weeks before the scheduled takeover, then plots to bump him off to inherit the entire family fortune. (I think I saw this on Dallas. Or was it Dynasty? CRAP! Aaron Spelling isn’t answering his pager!)
5. New sponsor: Soylent Green. Slogan: “It’s Schiefferiffic!” (as opposed to “It’s Bobtastic!”)
4. Give viewers a reason to want Bob Schieffer off of the anchor desk… hrm… maybe getting someone with a vendetta against the president to fax a bunch of faked documents to a deranged producer working for Bob…. aw, screw it. Snakes In A Newsroom!
3. The anchordesk is replaced with a dunking booth. Halfway through the newscast, a randomly-picked viewer gets to virtually throw three baseballs at a target in an attempt to sink her. (Hey, it worked with Lou Dobbs.)
2. CBS expands the news half-hour to an hour, reduces commercial interruptions, relies on experienced and well-educated local correspondents, provides in-depth analysis at their website, offers up a politically-neutral agendaless editor- HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just… HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…
And the number one way CBS had planned to prepare audiences for Katie Couric’s arrival…
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