BEGINNING OF STORY
PREVIOUS (PART 13)

“Service with a smile!”
Bryce stopped walking and looked to Lulu. “Huh?”
“As our motto!”
Charlene pushed Lulu forward. “Keep working on it.”
Doug didn’t like that idea either; we wasn’t good at faking a smile. They entered the store labeled “Gus’s Antiques” and found a small shop full of old furniture that hadn’t aged well. After they were there only a couple seconds, the old, balding man upfront – a large, rough character who looked like a “Gus” – shouted, “Buy some antiques or get out!”
Bryce approached the shopkeep. “Actually, we’re looking for some different types of… ‘antiques’.”
Gus furrowed his brow. “Huh?”
Bryce straightened his tie. “You know… some items you might not like to display out front.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, fancy-pants.”
Charlene pushed Bryce aside. “We want to see your black-market goods.”
Gus stared at her a moment. “What makes you think I would have such things?”
“Because this store here takes up only about ten percent of the building from the look of this place from the outside.”
“Wiseacre.” Gus led them to a door at the back. On the other side was a big warehouse full of more weapons than Doug had ever seen (the military never let him in the armory). Not only were there small arms, but missiles and the means to launch them as well.
Doug picked up two pistols and tried to make a fierce pose. “We can kick so much ass with this stuff!”
Bryce took the pistols away and set them back on the rack. “Learn to handle one competently.”
Charlene first looked like a kid in a candy store, but she soon composed herself. “How in the world do you keep all this stuff here without getting arrested?”
Gus chuckled. “Why would I be arrested? All of this here is for entertainment purposes only. If anyone uses this stuff for murder or sedition, that’s out of my control.”
Lulu looked unimpressed by the selection. “Anything on sale?”
“I’ve slashed prices on all my intercontinental ballistic missiles.” Gus pointed to a large, complex-looking missile launcher.
Bryce grimaced. “Too bad there’s nothing on another continent we want destroyed.”
“Not now,” Lulu said, “but if it’s on sale we should buy some in case we need to destroy stuff later.”
Charlene set down a rifle she was inspecting. “ICBMs are useless, Lulu. All nations have defense systems that would shoot them down as soon as they were launched; that’s why they’re on sale.”
Lulu walked up to Gus and pointed at his face threateningly. “You tried to sell me junk!”
“Caveat emptor. So what do you kids want?”
“I’ll handle this.” Charlene stepped forward. “Our ‘entertainment’ needs to be concealable. I’m thinking caseless-round pistols with three-round burst capability. We’ll also want a variety of ammo: both armor piercing and rounds good on soft-tissue.”
Gus smiled. “I think I can make the lady happy.”
“Oh, and we’ll be entertaining in Emperor Asmod’s territory,” Bryce added, “so, if you have documentation for Asmod officials and maybe some uniforms, that would be super-duper.”
Gus pointed to the back of the store. “Uniforms are there. Documentation selection is by the printers. I can also set you up with transportation past the border if needed… and if you have the money.”
“I think we can do business Mr. Gus.” Lulu glared at Gus. “But don’t try and sell us anymore junk or I’ll rip out your spleen.”
“Whatever, girly. Who are you people anyway?”
Lulu stood up straight. “Hellbender: Motto in the Works. Now do you know where a good women’s clothing store is, because I need to pick out a new suit.”
Gus rolled his eyes. “I’ll draw you directions.”
Lulu turned to Charlene. “Are you going to come?”
“Do I get to buy any clothing?”
“No. You need a maintenance jumpsuit for this mission, but I don’t like shopping alone.”
“Sorry, but I think it’s best I stay here and pick out our weapons.”
“I’ll go with, Lulu.” Bryce fixed his suit jacket. “I know fine clothing; I didn’t steal this suit off of just any dead guy.”
Lulu sighed. “Fine. I’ll go with Bryce. You and Doug have fun picking out guns and we’ll be back here soon.”
Gus handed Lulu some directions and she and Bryce headed out. Doug liked the idea of being alone with Charlene, but she was staring at different guns with such intensity he figured he’s be a pest to say anything to her. Looking around for something to do, he saw a wall of older looking weapons. It was a collection of both guns and blades from some long ago era.
Gus walked up next to him. “Anything you like?”
“You have any weapons that are… uh… sacred?”
Gus thought for a moment. “The old stuff comes ‘as is’.”
Doug looked at the different guns, knives, and swords, hoping something would jump out.
“Good thinking.” Charlene had walked up behind Doug while he was focused on finding his weapon capable of banishing the Fallen. “The older stuff can be more reliable sometimes and good for back up.”
Doug smiled at her, and turned back to the weapons rack. Then he saw it. It was a fierce looking knife with a dark blade. He carefully picked it up. “This is what I want.”
Charlene looked at the knife quizzically. “I was talking about revolvers; if you want a fixed blade knife, you’re better off getting something made from modern composite material.”
“It is a special knife,” Gus said. “It’s called a Ka-Bar, and its origins are unknown. Said to have been used by great warriors of old.”
Charlene laughed. “It’s a relic and a waste of money.”
Doug didn’t want to go against Charlene, but he was pretty sure of this. “I’ll buy it with my own money, then.”
Charlene picked up a snub-nosed revolver and worked the action. “Whatever makes you feel safer, I guess.”
Doug turned to Gus. “Ten credits, right?”
“That’s the non-sacred version.” Gus took the knife and put it in its leather sheath. “This one is twenty-five credits.”
“I only have ten.”
“Fine.” Gus took Doug’s credit chip and emptied it of its last remaining credits. Doug put the useless chip back in his pocket and marveled a bit at the knife he held. He put his hand around the handle, and it just felt sacred – whatever sacred meant.
Then he felt something shoved down the back of his pants. Doug froze, not sure of what to do, until Charlene told him, “Calm down; it’s a revolver. That’s what you should keep on you as backup.”
Doug unsuccessfully tried to look at the gun in the back of his waistband.
Charlene patted him on the shoulder. “Trust me; I’m going to do my best to keep us alive. Take the knife with you if you want, but also take my weapon recommendations.” She smiled at him, and he smiled back. She was quite pretty, and Doug felt it was only a matter of time until she dismissed him as too big an idiot to bother with. That wasn’t his biggest concern, though. While he trusted that Charlene was going to do her best to give them a fighting chance, Doug had a feeling in his gut that what Stan had told him was true. That meant their survival came down to him and the knife he held.
“You okay, Doug?” Charlene asked. “You look terrified.”
Doug put the knife in his jacket pocket. “I’ll be fine; I’m a soldier, aren’t I?”
Charlene shrugged her shoulders. “I guess.”
NEXT

Help Save Science Fiction at Jim Baen’s Universe!
(NOTE: Frank J.’s hastily hacked together stories are in no way supported or condoned by Baen)