Well, thanks CNN.
Thank you for telling the world that Mel Gibson was out driving drunk, got in an altercation with the arresting officers, and didn’t make any berserk anti-Semitic comments at all.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m a very busy man. I’m responsible for all the wars in the world, you know.
How so?
Well, I started young, an apprentice manager of the Pepsi-Coke Cola Wars of the 80’s and worked my way up the ranks.
Then, I consulted with the Iran-Iraq Wars. You know, because sending Shia Persians against Sunni Arabs was a great way to thin the enemy herd.
From there, nothing but success. A stint managing the Bandeh Aceh War (more Islamic sectarian violence to thwat Indonesian imperial designs), a few months working with the El Salvador Conflict, a few weeks compounding the Yemeni and Chechen Civil Wars, and then off to South Ossetia for my greatest achievement.
All throughout, I would dabble with pricing wars in the airline industry, but that lost its lustre after 9/11. (I’m still pissed at the Jews who coordinated all of that… I wish they’d have told me before screwing up my own pricefixing gig).
I joined IMAO specifically for the opportunity to be the Jew who coordinates the first war on the moon. After all, Frank’s going to nuke the moon one day, so I might as well ride his coat-tails and make sure that someone gets nuked up there that deserves it.
Or not. After all, this is war, and war is hell.

So, Jewish Bloggers… what wars were you responsible for?