President Bush is outlining a plan to secure terror-torn Baghdad. In an IMAO Exclusive, we have obtained the details to this plan.
PRESIDENT BUSH’S TOP TEN IDEAS TO SECURE BAGHDAD
10. Designate any area within 100 yards of a school a “Bomb Free Zone”.
9. Hide all the government buildings under really large version of those hide-a-key rocks.
8. Shoot the bad people.
7. If necessary, shoot them twice.
6. Don’t feed Rudy Giuliani for a week while constantly teasing him and then unleash him on the city.
5. Scotchguard everything.
4. Threaten to hand the whole place over to the Jews if everyone doesn’t calm down.
3. Put special sensors all over the city to detect the presence of monkeys.
2. Lend them Superman for ten minutes a day.
And the number one idea President Bush has to secure Baghdad…
Ban Muslims.
Ban Muslims! Sweet! Let’s make that a worldwide policy. Ban them to the U.N. building, where they can die groaning in agony!
Let Helen Thomas roam the streets and tell her she can have sex with any muslim she sees.
After the first casualty, Baghdad will be the only place on earth the muslims will never claim again.
Oh the horror, the carnage, the humanity.
//5. Scotchguard everything.//
Only if it’s Mel Gibson…(yummy)
//2. Lend them Superman for ten minutes a day.//
Only if it’s Dean Cain…(purrrr)
WOW, Frank! An exclusive list with two of my favorite fantasies. This is the HUNKIEST exclusive ever!
We tried lending them the Christopher Reeve Superman, but his cape kept getting caught in his wheels.
Yes, I know I’m going to hell for that one. I’ve already got a nice spot picked out by the lake of fire.
Dude, that one was harsh… I loved it.
OT, the Whittler has posted. That is all.
sex with helen thomas…c’mon…even the joooos aren’t that tough on their enemies!!!
The jews can’t have pig, so Helen Thomas is out.
How juvenile Frank.
How about instead of lending them Superman for ten minutes a day, we just lend them Chuck Norris for ten minutes for just one day.
That’s all it would take, period.
I like the threat of a Jew-Run Iraq. That’d settle them Mosodomites right good.
The only real way to secure Bagdad is to turn the whole area into a glass parking lot. Maybe years from now the someone could build the Mall of the MIddle East there. Maybe by that time the average Muslim man will be more confident in his masculinity and not afraid of the more intelligent and logical feminine mind. Or maybe they’ll all be dead, either way it’s a win-win.
//Maybe by that time the average Muslim man will be more confident in his masculinity //
Genetically impossible; they all have little teeny tiny man parts…don’t you watch South Park?
Shim,
But I thought size didn’t matter! Sobs