Bush turned to Cheney. “Hezbollah really needs to stop this @#$%. Israel really has to go ahead and kill those mother@#$%ers. What do you think?”
“Hezbollah should go @#$% themselves.”
“Mr. President…” Tony Snow tapped Bush on the shoulder and pointed to the press who were staring back at them wide-eyed. “…the mike is on.”
Bush sighed. “Oh @#$%; not again. What we really need is a big @#$%ing sign that tells us when the mike is on.”
“We have one.” Tony pointed to a lit sign behind the press that clearly said, “Microphone On.”
“Well, we need a @#$%ing bigger one!” Bush looked to the press and smiled. “Anyway, what I wanted to tell you all was that I think there can be a peaceful solution to the crisis in the Middle East with no more deaths necessary.”
“Will this ‘peaceful solution’ involve the killing of mother@#$%ers?” a reporter asked.
“No… not necessarily.”
“What about the @#$%ing children!” Helen Thomas cackled. “Why won’t you stop the @#$%ing Israelis from killing children?”
Bush shook his head. “What the @#$% is she still doing in the White House Press Corps? Does anyone capable of coherent though have a question?”
“What exactly is Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice supposed to accomplish in her meeting with foreign leaders?” another reporter asked. “I mean, what the @#$% is she out there doing?”
“Well… uh… what isn’t she doing?”
“I’m here to help bring an end to this crisis,” Condi told the foreign leaders.
“How?” asked one of the foreign leaders, “You’re not doing anything but meeting with people for short talks.”
“Well… talking is doing something.” They stared silently at each other for a while. “I think we’re making progress.”
“Isn’t it true,” said a reporter, “that the U.S. is simply standing back and waiting for Israel to go ape-@#$% and @#$%ing kill everyone?”
“No,” Bush answered, “that’s not the full extent of our strategy. And, can everyone stop swearing? Kids could be watching this.”
“Research shows that the only people who @#$%ing pay attention to these press conferences anymore are the @#$%ing bloggers,” the reporter said. “Actually, I’d like to say this for any @#$%ing blogger who may be reading this transcript: @#$% you, you @#$%ing pajama-wearing, ankle-biting, basement-dwelling little @#$%!”
“Whatever.” Bush looked to the rest of the press. “Do you guys have questions on anything else?”
“I have questions about your incompetence in the war,” said one reporter.
“I have some about your trampling our civil rights,” said another.
“I have yet some more questions about Abu Ghraib,” said the New York Times reporter. “We’re planning yet another article on Abu Ghraib to accompany the article about a new secret program we found out about.”
“Well, this press conference is now over!” Bush yelled. He turned to Cheney. “These reporters need to stop this @#$%. We really should kill all there mother@#$%ers.”
“Mr. President…”
“I know the mike is on!”
hey, you’re not all bad. I’m impressed that you at least make mention of the fact that Lebanese children are being killed through the action of the IDF. Granted, the Hizbollah created thsi horrible mess. However, Israel is better than this, or should be. Come on, even during the much more massive initial bombing of Baghdad, the US did not target civilian installations. I’m all for wiping out Hizbollah, but killing 350 civilians, 1/3 of them children, to kill maybe 10 or 20 Hizbollah, is NOT a responsible way of proceeding.
YAY!! a new IMW…and with Cursing! As always, ROFLMAO!! It is a bad thing about those kids that got killed, but I guess you could consider them saved from a life of growing up under Hezbollah influence. See there’s a bright side to everything!
GO ISRAEL!!! F-king WASTE THEM!!
Chihuahua:
Besides publicising your paedophily, ignorance, stupidity, abnormality and criminal mind, what do you do?
I am sure the US will appear as saviours of the world as soon as the assassins you worship are satisfied.
Your concerns about the children are very important. So why the heck (pardon my French) don’t you post a blog at those Hezbolla websites since they are the ones using the children as hostages/shields, and hiding behind women’s skirts/burkqas?
Oh that’s right, they might threaten to kill you or at least mortally insult your sensitivity.
Reality Check: Hezbolla doesn’t care what you think or what happens to the children. As long as they can win by taking hostages, they will continue to take hostages.
Those UN guys probably got blown up because they were engulfed by Hezbolla types using them as human hostage/shields too.
So Jim, what Is a responsible way of proceeding in the Real World?
a letter
Wow.
A letter.
You know, I always said the crisis in the Middle East could be solved if someone would just sit down and write a letter.
Best @#$%ing In My World Ever! “What about the @#$%ing children!” Helen Thomas cackled. “Why won’t you stop the @#$%ing Israelis from killing children?” LMAO!!!
It’s not even a good letter.
Rarely are letters so poorly written and so expressive of muddy out-of-focus thinking.
As long as Hezbolla hides behind children (being the pussies they are) then children are going to get killed. This is NOT Israels fault…it is the fault of Hezbolla the pussies that used children as shields in the first place…idiot!!!
Reality intrudes:
Don’t waste your breath with Jim the dips**t, portobella fungi, or morrono.
In their world, it’s ok for Hizbollah and Hamas to kill as many innocent Israeli citizens (both Arab and Jew) as they wish to support their cause. And, it’s ok for them to use innocents as human shields.
It’s the ultimate ME generation – what I want counts, nothing else. Everyone else is just in the way. Sorry, but in war, people die. If Hizbollah leaves Israel alone, no one on either side dies.
Tell it to someone who cares, you 3 loons. Go Israel, take out Hizbollah so that Lebanon and Israel can both have peace.
Yeah, sweet letter – a couple playwrights, a socialist/anarcho-syndicalist (like in Monty Python!), a guy who doesn’t like the “official” versions of history (did we quit in WWI when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?! NO!), and pinko commies all, I’m sure.
And, hey, where was Rummy? I can live without Rove appearing from the shadows, but those reporters needed either strangulation, a .45 round to the face, or both.
Jim,
For all of the Iraqi government faults under Sadam. One of the things they did not do was set up their military installations intermixed with civilian populations. The IDF is not deliberately targeting civilians, they are attacking Hezbulah(sp?) positions that have been deliberately placed amongst civillian populations.
Even if the Geneva convention actually did apply to Hezbulah, the IDF has no obligation under any recognized rules of war to not target Hezbulah fighters just because they are in a civilian area. It would be the responsibility of the Hezbulah to keep there assets away from the civilians.
For example during WWII, the ground fighting on the Western European front was, with some notable exceptions, conducted with adherence to the Geneva convention rules. Both the Allied and German forces shelled the crap out of towns that contained plenty of civilians (even friendly civilians) targeting the enemy military assets that were holding positions there.
vootie is right. These pansies are products of the ME generation. So, when someone threatens you or your friends you run away and hope they don’t follow, you offer them your lunch money as a form of “negotiation” and tell them that they could have more fun if they beat up your girlfriend instead of you. So, to them, you ALWAYS let the bully that starts the fight win. Because fear, which they try to convince themselves and others is “superior intellect”, is the emotion that guides ALL of their decisions in life.
Best. IMW. Ever.
You know, so far.
Especially the ending. Overall, a beautiful example of something starting with a small trigger and leading to complete chaos (look up the rejected “I Feel Great” Nutragrain commercial sometime for a classic example). With this IMW bit, though, you also have the brilliant full circle ending that matches the beginning perfectly – that’s talent. The Condi bit adds delicious irony to the middle.
Would someone PLEASE win the lottery and produce a sitcom/movie/whatever for Frank to write?
Does anyone capable of coherent though have a question?
I believe that possession of the capability for coherent thought disqualifies one from being a member of the White House Press Corps.
And, uh, now you know why I identify myself as Silicon Valley Jim, and not just as Jim.
marrano, that’s the second time I’ve seen the charge that Israel kidnapped a Dr and his son but I have yet to see any names. Who are these mystery people? You posted the letter so I assume you know.
Son of Bob,
You left out one key ingredient – it’s not “ME”, it’s “ME RIGHT NOW”. It’s a form of French Existentialism that is so perverted into living for the moment that it assumes that the consequence of someone shooting ten people in a line that starts on the other end of the room and ends with them doesn’t concern them because they aren’t the ones being shot, you know, right this second.
A truely selfish leftist would see the ones who want to enslave them and the ones who they hate out of bigotry fighting – and never want it to end. But bigotry trumps long-term self-interest in their emotion-based reactions.
Because, you know, what happens to “ME” ten minutes from now doesn’t impact “ME NOW”. Between this and the visual aspects of postmodernism replacing images with words, the hard left has went right past reverting to apes, rodents, reptiles, and fish and have gone straight to insects, philosophically.
You know, cause back then, things were better.
And we’re called “backward” and “anti-intellectual” – I guess if it gets them through the next ten minutes, so be it, and eleven minutes later it just won’t matter to anyone.
One more thing, if that was the reason, why didn’t Hamas make that explicit when they kidnapped the soldier? I’ve only seen this accusation from that quartet of idiots and some guy on FoxNews who also spouted a bunch of things that I knew to be not true.
But I would like some information on this mystery Dr as I expect him to make the big-time as more and more people latch onto this in an attempt to blame Israel.
Veeshir,
I wouldn’t bet on that big-time thing.
I don’t know either, just found that letter that I knew you wingnuts would read, some more adequately than others.
Namaste
Ah, the classic comeback. Dipshit. Very good point. Everyone is convinced.
I think any human with any sense of morals whatsoever can see that you, vootie, have none.
I suppose you would justify this behavior when it was your family, or child, that has just been killed, for the purpose of killing the neighbor who is a terrorist.
As a realist, jackass, I would send in ground troops, so I could actually carry out targeted assaults on members of Hizbollah, and not innocent children. But I guess YOU are willing to take the risk of the loss of innocent lives. That should console the people. And that is not at all a fine example of “ME NOW” thinking.
That’s what I love about lefties. They don’t understand their arguments but they know they’re right.
marrano posts a letter that, I assume, meant something but it has absolutely no idea about the central fact of the letter, that it’s Israel’s fault.
So why post the letter since you obviously don’t understand…. Oh, now I get it. You’re used to not understanding things so you just allow your betters to think for you.
I would like to point out that having people like Chomsky and Pilger doing your thinking is apt to make you look like an idiot when you go out among people who actually think about the….
Oh right. Nitwit troll. That’s me, elucidating the obvious.
As one of the few people who actually provided a legitimate answer, I would like to say I agree with what you are saying Brian. And this has been a Palestinian tactic for a long time, in fact I have seen pictures where a Palestinian armed with an assault rifle, actually shooting at Israelis, is crouching in front of a large crowd of people.
The thing is, even with the current situation in Iraq, almost no innocents are killed by the Americans. This is because they don’t carry out air strikes when they have a target in a heavily populated location. They send in the ground forces.
Believe me, I am anything but an Islamist supporter. I have lived in the Middle East myself, and could not stand the hypocrisy of the people there, and the absolutely horrible, slave like treatment of poor migrant workers there. But, the loss of civilian lives, especially when they so massively outnumber militant lives, must make one thing about the way the campaign is being carried out.
Unlike some people here, I am NOT thinking of ME, I am thinking of innocent people here.
Talking about ME I dislike Hezbollah because I would like to go to Baalbeck, the most impressive ruins of the ancient world.
Jim, morono and any other dildo: I do not have a letter. I have a number: 0 as in zero, as in the number of cowardly, murderous, hide-behind-the-children/women/elderly Hezbos the Israelis will hopefully leave in Lebanon. Then we should let them nuke Syria, and then Iran. And the moon, let’s not forget the moon. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
and btw, porko, you are still a doodoo head.
must make one thing (clear? V) about the way the campaign is being carried out.
It mostly makes clear that the US military is far superior to even Israel’s. Only we can avoid civilian casualties as well as we do. Everybody else just has to kill a lot of people to get to the ones they want.
Welcome to Reality World. It sucks there.
One of your better ones Frank. LMAO
Ooops veeshir, that was supposed to say one “thing” clear.
AS for captamerica, I dont’ recall me mentioning any letter of any sort.
Dildo. Good one.
oops, sorry again…it was meant to say “make one think”…
captain do the kids call you that?
My brother-in-law was a general in the Air Force, he’s now retired. I asked him once who the real bad boys are other than the US Military, he responded without hesitation “The Israelis”… The news media tends to underestimate their capability, they will not lose this confrontation even if Syria and Iran get involved! Iran fought Sadaam for 7 years to a draw and we kicked Sadaam ass in 3 weeks…C’mon! Iran is a bunch of sissy girls and Syria is just as bad! They hide behind old men, women and chilren like the pussies they are!
Yes, the US could easily school Iran. That’s because the US can defeat any conventional military. However, as Iraq has shown, it is virtually impossible to defeat a militia that uses tactics such as thos used by the Iraqi insurgency. Especially when the enemy will not carry a visible weapon, simply a bomb vest. Then, they will not fight, they will simply detontate themselves. A similar strategy drove the Israelis OUT of Lebanon in 2000, I believe. Except then it wasn’t so much suicide bombers as bombs on roadsides being remotely detonated as Israelis would pass by. Unless you wipe out the population, it is extremely difficult to win this kind of war. The Soviet Union, the largest military power after the US, couldn’t conquer a bunch of tribal mujahideen. It could have eradicated them, sure, but apart from that what choices does one have?
porto keeps talking to an imaginary illegal immigrant dog/rat…what’s up with that?
Geeez, liberals are so retarded.
And marrono, pissed with Hezbollah because they ruin his site-seeing plans, not because they’re a bunch of murderous cowardly bastards…well this one has his priorities straight…
Jim, I agree with you…just getting tired of all the tough talk from the girly men in Iran…these cowards and sissy men, when not swapping spit in the shower are figuring out how to murder women and children and then they talk tough… Someone needs to bitch slap them soon!
Consider this solution: A No Man’s Land barrier behind which potential terrorists are not allowed. Walls and biometrics to keep those who play by the rules separate from those that don’t. Automatic missiles that instantly rain down on any source location of a rocket crossing over the wall.
This is what Israeli anti-terrorist warfare is evolving into.
If it were done, then children and women would no longer be useful as hostages.
Beats Jim’s sending in ground troops to fight a “virtually impossible” fight surrounded by friendly hostages and deadly foes.
ussjimmycarter….yeah. Whenever I see that asshole Ahmebigdick, or whatever the Iranian PM is called, I think to myself, does this guy want to commit suicide? There are easier ways of doing this, than to call for a war with the US. I also think that the suicide bomber problem wont be a problem for the US in Iran, because you could just take out every single military facility, nuclear and otherwise, with air strikes. No need for ground forces. So Ahmedinijad should be very afraid, because this objective would involve less human cost for the US.
And Reality….I just realised I kind of contradict myself there. I will be first (well, second) to point that out. I just think it is a very tragic situation for the innocents involved, again, the children. Again, I completely sympathise with Israels situation. All I was saying from the start, however, is that you simply HAVE to think about innocent lives. I mean, for all we know, some of these people just wanted peace, and are being killed as a result of Hizbollah’s actions. How they can say they are fighting for Lebanon is beyond me. They obviously jump with joy everytime Israel tries to hit them and civilians get taken out, because it helps Lebanon gain sympathy. But what they don’t realise is, they are not Lebanon. Perhpas the Hezbollah could have a suicide bomber party, where they all got together and did their thing.
I think one solution for the innocents being targeted because of the Hezbollah supporters around them would be for said “innocents” to attack the villians within their midst.
Then when they were being killed they’d at least be killed by their own people and not those awful Israeli invaders…
Shimauma, you clearly have some issues, and might I suggest that you should never, every have children. It seems to me you would send them out to fight if there was a situation of any kind. And like you yourself have said….if you do have kids, perhaps it would be better if they would die in a car accident or something. That way they would have to grow up under the influence of a sick puppy like you. And that, my friend, would be the silver lining.
Cheers!
oops, that was supposed to say wouldn’t have to.
Jim said:
//It seems to me you would send them out to fight if there was a situation of any kind.//
I know my 13 year old daughter could kick your pussy ass just by the way you write, and her 8 year old sister would probably kick you in your non-existant nuts afterwards.
Shimauma,
I agree the hostages/civilians attacking their captors would be very helpful. However, many of the hostages/civilians are so intimidated by the Islamic thugs that they have a sort of Stockholm Syndrome going. (That is an involuntary psychological response where the hostages identify with their captors.) They need rescuing, and even when rescued may not be able to thank their rescuers.
This is why I advocate an armed civilian populace. Any Extremist group tries setting up shop and getting JDAMs rained down on my head will get hot lead in his.
Chances are I might die. In fact, it’s almost guaranteed. But at least I won’t be letting a very small minority use the innocents in my neighborhood as shielding for their ccowardly, sissified asses.