“Dong! Dong! Dong!”
“What is it, Dear Leader?” asked Kim Jong Il’s aide.
“We launch Taepodong missile now! We show world we mighty!”
“But I don’t think the missile is ready for–”
“Show them my dong! Dong! Dong! Dong!”
“Fine! Will launch the missile! Just stop saying, ‘Dong.'” The aide gave a motion to the missile command, and they commenced launching a missile.
Jong rubbed his grubby hands together. “Hee hee hee! Now all the world will fear my dong! First, I must get my hair poofier! They will fear me when my hair is poofy and they see my dong! Poofier! Poofier! Dong! Dong!”
“I can’t make it any poofier!” cried Jong’s hair stylist. “If it gets any more poofy, the static electricity it would generate could set off the nuclear warheads and kill us all!”
“Poofier! Dong! Dong! Dong!”
The aide got off the phone. “That was the Chinese. They say they want their trains back. Did you steal the trains the Chinese sent their aid on?”
“No steal! Trains are part of aid! Trains are ours!”
“I know we need more trains, but, if we keep taking the Chinese trains, they won’t send anymore aid.”
“They will do what we tell them when they see my dong! Launch another Taepodong! Dong! Dong! Dong! Dong! Do–”
“Okay! Please just stop saying, ‘Dong.'” The aide motioned to missile command to launch another missile.
“Hee hee hee! All will see my dong and cower!”
Bush watched the sky with binoculars and started giggling. “Know what the North Koreans call these?”
“The missiles?” Condoleezza Rice asked.
“Yeah. They call them ‘Taepo.'” Bush laughed some more. “What the hell kind of name is that?”
“I believe it’s a Korean name.”
Bush thought about that. “I guess that makes sense, then. So, can we shoot down the missiles?”
“What I’m hearing from the military commanders is that they’re falling harmlessly into the sea too fast for us to shoot them down.”
Bush considered that. “So you’re saying we’re impotent to shoot down the North Korean’s impotent missiles?”
Condi giggled. “Do you realize you just called Kim Jong Il’s dong ‘impotent’?”
Bush stared at her. “I don’t get it.”
yeah… that whole thing scares me. but his name is kim so i’m not scared of him personally, just his dong. That was great…
I keep hearing lines from Sixteen Candles:
“Dong, where is my automobile?”
“Otto-mo-biile? makes screeching sound followed by a splash In Lake. Big Lake.”
Weird, I just watched Team America Monday night, and now the Loony-Toon Dictator blunders his way into the headlines again. This guy needs a reality lesson with a sturdy 2×4.
Well herro Flank. You are making funny of me again I see. But that is okay, because I are so rone ry. You make fun of my poofy hair, Actuarry funny boy it was a transprant from an orangutan. You make fun of my dong, eh. Evewee body makes fun of my dong. My dong couldn’t stay up, brah, brah, brah. I give one ting funny boy. You no make fun of my scary sungwasses. Tanks for dat. Well, I have to pran my next ewection, so all de people get to get involved with my ewection, raughing boy.. So have fun while you can, raughing boy.
http://www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/world/dprk/nd-b.htm
It may be of interest to some, (and amusing to others in a Freudian kind of way) that the predecessor of the Taepodong-2 was the No-Dong-B.
No. I didn’t hyphenate it that way.
Check the link.
No joke.
‘s good to have you back Frank. Your archives couold hold me over only for so long…
Condi focused on the Dong thingy has me pretty worked up…
I swear, if some more person says the word “Dong” I am going to start test launching missiles from my basement. Don’t push me.
heldmyw
“It may be of interest to some, (and amusing to others in a Freudian kind of way) that the predecessor of the Taepodong-2 was the No-Dong-B. ”
I’m just trying to picture the monster batteries you’d use in one of those things.
No batteries. It runs on 220 AC with a very long extension cord.
Must’ve got the extension cord tangled up somewhere well short of Japan.
Maybe somebody got their foot looped in the cord.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee–––
This IMW was’t the very best of Frank, but the response from “reader for rife” was a coffee spewing riot. I hope Kim reads your posts more often, Frank, the guy kills me, absolutely dying here…