Apparently, California is in some kind of Stage 1 Power Emergency right now. Too many people in the Castro District using their hairdryers at once, or Ed Begley, Jr.’s recharging his electric car again.
Anyway, since the official response to a Stage 1 Power Emergency is “Blame Enron” I have the distinct feeling this crisis will only deepen.
So, for all of our regular IMAO readers in California threatened with eternal darkness and the collapse of what passes for civilization there on the Left Coast, IMAO has prepared a list of things to do during your electricity-free time…
- Take off your socks, name one of them “Greenwald,” and have them give each other high praise for writing interesting left-wing posts.
- Stick forks in dead electrical sockets, shout loudly “My God! Sticking forks in electrical outlets is so fun! I wish the power would never come back!”
- Punch liberals in their stupid monkey faces.
- Simmer smugly, knowing that you’re morally far superior to all of those St. Louis red-stater jerks who are sitting in the dark.
- Harm yourself grievously. They never cut off electricity to hospitals, you know, so as the power grids go up and down you’ll be safe and comfy in your hospital bed.
- Relax. You can see just fine by the light of the out-of-control wildfires.
- Stay amused by reading your IMAO merchandise over and over.
Yeah, this was just a cheap T-shirt plug. Guilty as charged.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm T-SHIRTS!
How can you tell when civilization collapses in a Blue state? Do they finally become civil ?
can’t wait till the power goes out in san fran and skullduggery reigns…at least none of the citizens will have a gun to protect themselves. have fun boys!
I think IMAO could help out by starting an emergency mailing list for all us CA bloggers. A hard copy of the site mailed daily via FedEx would really help through the brown-outs.
I printed the current page to test my theory, and was able to fan myself, create a makeshift torch, and heat up some soup for lunch. That’s what I call content.
I wasn’t able to myspace at all. It was the worst thing ever. except of course, waiting forever for hellbender. But it’s here now. thanx Frank j.
California is doomed. DOOMED I SAY!
Revelation 16:8-10
[8] And the fourth angel poured out his vial upon the sun; and power was given unto him to scorch men with fire.
[9] And men were scorched with great heat, and blasphemed the name of God, which hath power over these plagues: and they repented not to give him glory.
[10] And the fifth angel poured out his vial upon the seat of the beast; and his kingdom was full of darkness; and they gnawed their tongues for pain,
REPENT! REPENT!
“Awwwwww… cannot get your ship out.”
“‘Cause This Is Thrillah, Thrillah Night
And No One’s Gonna Save You From The Beast About Strike”
Walk around with your hands out about chest high groping in the darkness.
Oooo!
Sorry, ma’am. (giggle)
Once California goes into a blackout, Bush should take credit for a 95% reduction in Internet porn.
can’t wait till the power goes out in san fran and skullduggery reigns…at least none of the citizens will have a gun to protect themselves. have fun boys!
And if they had guns, they’d have a hard time using their limp wrists to aim them.
Actually the crisis was yesterday. They only got hysterical today because yesterday some people died, and today they needed to be seen doing something. Typical.
A lot of people in St. Louis did what my sister did. Throw out the contents of the refrigerator into the dumpster and leave town for the weekend.
CELEBRATE!
California is the state that does not want any:
Offshore Oil Drilling
New refinerys
Nuclear Power
Combustable Based Power Plants
Now they will finally get what they have been asking for. They should celebrate, not complain.
I think they’ll manage. California liberals seem to be in the dark about everything anyway.