New York Times Special Report…
Overwhelmed by the pressures of work, school, and World Cup Soccer – young RWD has finally snapped. He has left the group at IMAO to go to his top secret lair at 123 Avenida De Las Flores. (Ducky’s note: CURSE YOU NY TIMES.) The government has been watching the young duck as he spirals downward in a downward spiral of .. er. downwardness. This secret spying of the duck was not authorized by congress was probably illegal. (Government note: Curse you NY Times.) Also, his hair has magically become much more poofy like.
We now go to a specially released statement from Kon Young Ducky (formerly known as RightWingDuck)
Attention World!!! Or IMAO readers. I have developed a powerful missile capable of leaving my backyard and causing doom – DOOOOOM!! I say. Not really sure about the doom, but I am fairly sure that it should be able to leave my back yard. This super missile powered by top secret techknology (NY Times Note: Baking Soda) that nobody would dare challenge!!
At this point, all your everything are belong to me!! It is only by giving in and offering ransom that you pathetic Americans can even hope to survive my wrath.
In the comments below, please list who you are and what your concessions would be to me and my mighty arsenal of baking soda, er.. i mean.. top secret technology weapons of doooooooooom.
i offer many some liberals and illeagal aliens!
And this makes him the ducky…OF DOOOOOM!!
It’s always pretty amazing how adding “OF DOOOOOM!” to stuff makes it sound ominous…I love that…
Ducky…OF DOOOOOM!!
Ducky…OF DOOOOOM!!
Ducky…OF DOOOOOM!!
yeah…I’ve lost it.
Well we here in San Francisco aren’t scared of your “weapons”!! In fact we challenge everyone in the world with a weapon…of DOOOOOMM!!!! to detonate it in the middle of our city!! C’mon, try us. We can take it.
//Well we here in San Francisco aren’t scared of your “weapons”!! …C’mon, try us. We can take it.//
hrm,(giggle), yeah, they can take, in fact they really like to take it…(snork!)
You can have my ex-fiancee. She speaks Korean (because she is Korean), and she’s really beautiful. She’s also crazy as a loon, so she’ll fit right in.
I’m Kent Ross and I’m a big wheel in Republican politics here in Halifax County, NC.
In return for your abiding by FAA regulations by not firing unmanned aircraft more than 1000 feet high or at general aviation aircraft or in designated airfield approach and departure routes, I offer you equality of opportunity and before the law, and the right to wear your hair as poofily as you like, subject only to racial defamation protests by your nearest Mexican consulate.
I also offer the same advice I gave my nephews last weekend when they armed themselves with similar munitions: if you want to see the thing fly high, don’t set up right under the canopy of your grandpa’s leafiest tree. And rinse off your launch stand with a nonacidic liquid like tap water before you put more baking soda into it for the next launch.
shimauma,
I was going to add something along those lines but I just couldn’t fit it to the indignant tone
That’s it – we’re doomed.
Dammit!!
I just spotted almost my exact same post (only his is much funnier) at Potfry http://potfry.blogspot.com/.
About 1/3 of the way down – ” Bush Challenges North Korea to Reach San Francisco with Missle”.
Dammit!!!!
I’ll give you the name and address of my barber, now PLEASE… just put down that bottle of vinegar…
You aren’t hangin’ with Superman and Kim Jong Il, are you. If Superman is back at the secret lab, tell him to get his gay ass back home, and I want my lime green socks back too. I don’t know what the hell the three of you have been up to but the queer Superman, duck, evil dictator trio just isn’t right. Even a filthy Right Wing Duck should know his boundaries. I’ll let you off though because you so young and impressionable. Just put it up to very misguided youthful experimentation. That obscene queen Superman’s got no excuses though. He’s got no business joining an evil dictator for the purposes of molesting an underage duck.
The two of you better not be helping Kim Jong Il, lob all that junk into the Sea of Japan, causing an international incident. I can just picture you and Mr. Jong Dong yelling San Francisco and laughing your ass feathers off, while Superman lobs stuff in Japans general direction. Not Funny.
We offer you an alternative fuel source – Mentos and Coke
oh, wait, I got that wrong.
It’s Mentos and Coke of Doooom !!!
Steve
I hate to break it to you, but that’s not going to work.
Coke is Carbonated. The Methos — Coke reaction releases guess what: Carbon Dioxide.
Back to the drawing board.