If Israel thinks it can win this war by killing the United Nations then it is sorely mistaken. In fact, I quote most Muslim scholars when I say that “if the UN survives, then that in itself will be a victory.”
For those of you who don’t know, four United Nations observers were killed yesterday by precision bombing. They did their job faithfully to the very end. Their final words were: “Look, I think I see one coming. Get those Hezbollah guys in here to safety.”
In light of this incident, we call on the United Nations to show restraint in their response. Having your people killed does NOT mean you should retaliate. This would be the perfect time for dialogue and understanding.
We will now field questions from our readers.
Is this an act of war?
Dropping several tons of munitions isn’t so much an act of war as it is a desperate plea for attention.
Israel dropped a bomb on the United Nations. Shouldn’t they be worried?
No, we checked with the Israeli Prime Minster and we are assured that they have other bombs.
Why do you guys have to be such smart-asses about everything?
We can’t help ourselves. We believe it might be genetic and therefore not our fault.
Do you think that the United Nations would counter attack?
The United Nations does not have a dedicated army. However they could indeed hire a bunch of dangerous goons to take out the Israeli leadership. The UN has contacts with some of the most blood-thirsty people in the world such as Mafia hitmen, paroled political prisoners, and nominees of the Nobel Peace Prize.
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IMAO will provide updates and commentary on the situation as it develops.
Careful, Kofi.
Let’s stop the cycle of violence right here. Now would be a good time for a cease-fire, don’t you think?
I think Israel would prefer being bombed by the UN if the alternative was having to negotiate with them yet again.
nominees of the Nobel Peace Prize.
Heaven help Israel if the UN gets actual Nobel Peace Prize winners on their side. Those people can be pretty violent.
Just so they do not get near Bolton.
Fear the stache!
I think the U.N. should practice what they preach and drop the rhetoric. Their people were in a war zone where things go boom. This actually reminds me of the Palestinians day at the beach when they claimed they were shelled by Israel and it turned out to be a Hamas ordinance. I think we should wait and see if Israel really did it. Also it seems that innocent civilians being killed is only bad if Israel does it. What a bunch of crap these terrorists are baby and women killers why are they not held to the same standard. I don’t recall Kofi being this upset about the U.N. office in Iraq being bombed.
As I keep saying, if you stay in the Middle East long enough, you will get blown up. People should know that.
Frank’s right. The Discovery channel had a program on last night that showed that the mayors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki had both taken extended vacations in Aqaba, Jordon just months prior to Aug 1945. Look what happened to them.
I won’t believe anything about a “secret plan” involving Israel and the UN and bombings and such until I read it in the paper of record…the NY Times…my vote is that Israel checked with Bolton first and he gave them two thumbs way up!
It’s Bush’s fault. There, now somebody said it and liberals can be happy.
Surely the UN will only engage in a proportional response to this. Perhaps they’ll increase their yearly condemnations of Israel quota from 1,000 to 2,000 a year.
Amazing…even when the UN gets bombed, it’s their fault. They told them EXACTLY where they were, and they were taken out by a PRECISION bomb. Someone needs to be there giving the civilians medicine, food and water, morons. That’s why they are there. As for not holding Hamas accountable….they are a terrorist organisation….no one can hold them accountable, you can just take them out. However, Israel can, you know, choose NOT to bomb UN personnel.
India recently lost about 250 of its citizens in a terrorist attack. Do we see them bombing the Pakistani civilian infrastructure? Or is the loss of Israel bigger than India’s loss?
I have the ultimate solution. We should have the hippies that are willing to be human shields do just that. Everyone knows that they aren’t really civilians, so everyone can be so offended by the smell that we can bomb the surrounding area without having to worry about real civilian casualties. Plus, we can take care of our homeless, drug, wellfare, social security, and bottomsucker problems, seeming as that they are all intertwined.
good luck to our heroes and gods speed.
Also, I can’t believe people would think this was on purpose. Why in gods name would Israel do something like this on purpose? What would they gain?
Oh right, 4 UN workers dead. That’s right… Ha f***ing Ha. These were not terrorists, they were workers from 4 different nations. Posted there by the people they work for. Who would have thought hippy jokes could be SO funny in every situation.
moneyman, if you hadn’t noticed, we bombed both hiroshima and nagasaki with leaflets, advising them to get the F&%^ out. Only israel and the great, the one, the only, US have done for the potential victims. we even did it in dresden. you’d think that the aggressors would have learned, they were only trying to prove what the muslims are now. suicide (bombing) is the sign of a Dying cause. and it will NEVER be more than that.
seanquiote….were you born an asshole, or do you just really like them? So if I were to get fired in one of GM’s mass layoff’s, and need to temporarily go on welfare, I deserve to die? You really are a twisted f**k. Next time, when GM or Boeing lays off thousands of workers, they should just execute them themselves. Asshole.
Jim, I don’t know if you’re paying attention, but un workers aren’t the only ones who are dying. People have been dying violently in that region for decades, and if that is the only thing that makes you upset, you should lay of the hallucinogens.
I had no idea that pacifists could be so violent.
Jim, I think that we are missing eachothers points. If only I would have known that you were being laid off in an exploding economy maybe I would have been a little more simpathetic. You’ve enjoyed the benifits of a free market, for how long. Anyway, you seem to be working for a company that doesn’t need you anymore. time for a fresh start.
nobody is going to hire you with an attitude like that.
sorry moneyman, my animosity was meant to be directed toward jim. you were just the person that i took not of, maybe its the money thing.
Yeah seanquiote, or perhaps the public doesn’t need the company’s cars anymore, even though the economy is booming. How does that make sense. In a booming economy, EVERYTHING booms.
Who says I’m a pacifist. Wanting the removal of Hezbollah without the loss of civilian lives makes me, umm, not a murderer.
Yes the leflets being dropped. And then the people should go to the airport and take the first flight out…oh, oops…i mean get out on the safe roads and drive out….oh, hang on a sec. Ahh…they’r just lebanese kids anyways. How does it affect ME. It’s not hurting ME.
Talk about having a ME NOW attitude.
Enjoy your life in your phone-tapping, bank-account monitoring facist “democracy”. Are you a terrorist, or do you want you phone tapped?
//they’r just lebanese kids anyways//
Here Jim, get this…
What their lebanese parents need to do to protect them is grab the hezbollah guy hiding in their midst, find the nearest camera(liberal media’s got them ALL over the place to document the evil Israeli atrocities) and gut the mother@#$%er on camera. Then MAYBE the terrorists will understand that they aren’t wanted in lebanon.
Even my 13 year old knows you don’t let the neighborhood bully hide in your basement when there’s more of you than there are of him. You either gang up on that a$$hole or you turn the mother@#$%er in.
…and she could still kick your pansy butt any day.
jim, what happens in one company is NOT an indication of the economy as a whole. You mention lebanese children, are you not aware that jews have children also. I noticed that you finally used the word fascist, Im suprised you held out that long, fascism is a form of government that gives control of private industry to the state, similar to socialism only without the industry.
I better get back to work.
SeanQuixote-
You’ve hit the nail on the head. Now if we could find li’l Jim, we could hit him on the head, too (not that he’s using it).
“India recently lost about 250 of its citizens in a terrorist attack. Do we see them bombing the Pakistani civilian infrastructure?”
Awesome insight, Jim-pansy. Your insight should come in handy to India, since you know for a fact that it was solely Pakistan.
“Or is the loss of Israel bigger than India’s loss?”
The loss of Israel? Did we misplace Israel somewhere? Seriously though… to answer the second part of your question…Yes! The loss TO israel is bigger because they have less people, ESPECIALLY Jewish people, than India does. The liberal strikes in India were awful, but c’mon; it’s not like they didn’t have a few people to spare…
P.S- to any Indian folks, only joking.