By cutting back on maintenance of course.

As more than 200 Denver- bound United Airlines passengers waited to board Flight 909 from Chicago on Monday, it became apparent that something was wrong.
The Boeing 777, parked at the gate at O’Hare International Airport, was extremely hot. As in 115 degrees. The plane’s auxiliary power unit, which generates electricity when engines are shut down at the gate, was broken. That killed the air conditioning and triggered a five-hour ordeal for passengers and crew.
All other flights to Denver were booked. United tried to find a replacement plane, but none was available.
United officials had a dilemma: Figure out how to cool the plane in near 100-degree heat, then board the passengers and send them to Denver; or buy them hotel rooms in Chicago.
They chose the first option.

As the knight said in the third Indiana Jones movie, they chose poorly.
Now, this incident alone might make you think United Airlines was just a bunch of cold-hearted bastards looking to make q uick buck off of the suckers unlucky enough to have Priceline put their asses in United seats, but the truth is that every airline is running a passenger torture promotion of one sort of another:

• Southwest Airlines has implemented a new policy, replacing beverage service with a punch in the face. Alcoholic beverages will be available for a slight fee, but they come with two punches in the face.
• Delta Airlines runs a lottery on flights 2 hours or longer where the winner is stuffed into a bathroom with 100 live rats.
• Olympic Airlines makes you sit next to a smelly Greek. (Oh, wait… they’ve always done that.)
• American Airlines has ordered all pilots to scream nonstop during bad weather conditions. When they’re drunk, they take turns playing the Arab with the boxcutter.
• JetBlue has cut back unionized staff, using prisoners as cabin attendants. But don’t worry… prisoners can’t fashion deadly weapons from ordinary objects, can they?
• You don’t want the Kosher meals from Northwest. Trust me on this.
• Continental still provides pillows and blankets. Of course, what’s to stop them from smothering you with them in your sleep?
• TWA hasn’t actually resumed operations, but they will occasionally roll a plane up to a gate, take on passengers, and then run up and down the aisle with a baseball bat taking swings at anyone asking to deplane.
• El Al’s Complaints Department responds with “Without us, you’d be riding in boxcars to your deaths! Be grateful all we did was lose your luggage!”

So Red Sox third baseman Mike Lowell goes on and on about how Castro killed members of his family, oppresses people, and is evil, but Lowell doesn’t once mention Cuba’s free healthcare. Come on; have some perspective!

Michelle Malkin has a post up about the muckadoos at Digg trying to censor her posts – either getting them banned from Digg entirely or working together to mark down any right-wing posts on Digg. Also, since submissions to Digg get comments, you get to see the return of vulgar slurs directed at Malkin! Yay!
I’m not sure this is a battle conservatives can win, as the battle will go to who has the most spare time to waste marking down post they don’t like and comments that don’t correspond with group think (comments with low rating get hid from most users). This is what I’ve come to expect from the moonbats on the internets, but it’s still a bit disconcerting how many of them are so quick to jump on the censorship bandwagon without a second thought.
Still, since it involves reaching a larger audience and thus increasing my traffic and riches, I’m for fighting! I encourage all of you to join Digg and help me and Malkin and other conservatives (but especially me).
Be honorable, ronin.

I’ve been very disappointed in what I’ve heard about Mel Gibson and his crazy ranting after being caught drunk driving. In retrospect, I guess it shouldn’t be that surprising. You see, back when people were charging Gibson with being an anti-Semite when The Passion of the Christ came out, Gibson invited me over to his mansion. He, like many people, didn’t want the poison pen of IMAO to turn against him, so he asked for a face to face with me to convince everyone he doesn’t hate Jews.
We had a nice little chat, but then Mel Gibson got an important phone call and had to excuse himself for a few minutes. While waiting for him to get back, I noticed he had a parrot in a cage sitting nearby. Bored, I turned to the parrot and said, “Hello!”

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