For the past three weeks, I thought I was playing that America’s Army combat training and simulation game, but it turned out I was playing America’s Salvation Army.
Now the whole “Hit the mouse button to ring the bell, repeat.” instructions that came with it makes a lot more sense.
Although I did manage to get the Bigger Kettle power-up.
Oh, and the ski mask and gloves, too. Those were kinda cool.

Continue reading ‘Short Shameful Confession’ »

I’ve only been drunk twice. Last time, I accidentally double posted. I don’t think I started ranting against the “jooos”, but you’d have to ask the others in attendance.
I really wonder if drunken rants against the Jews will be enough to sink Mel Gibson’s career. I wouldn’t take any pleasure in Gibson’s downfall, but it would be nice to know there’s at least something one can do so horrible that the freaks in Hollywood would shun you (child molestation apparently isn’t enough).

I most earnestly wish that dogs were not nearly as stupid as they are. I want them to speak and understand English. I want them to be learners. So we could have this conversation:
SARAHK: Rowdi, you were already sick.
ROWDI: I know Mommy. Now I’m sicker.
SARAHK: Rowdi, do you know why you’re sick and sicker?
ROWDI: Because God hates dogs?
SARAHK: Possibly. You’re sicker because you dug in the trash and ate something Mommy didn’t give you.
ROWDI: Oh, that’s what makes me sick? Eating stuff you don’t give me?
SARAHK: Yes. Your stomach is the most sensitive stomach on the planet. It’s your fault you’re sick. Did you enjoy the ginger and soy sauce?
ROWDI: It was yummy.
SARAHK: Did you enjoy the wasabi?
ROWDI: It burned my tongue.
SARAHK: Was it all worth it? Knowing that you’re sick because you ate it when Mommy didn’t give it to you?
ROWDI:
SARAHK: Rowdi, do you understand that all this pain and suffering is because you ate the yummy food that Mommy didn’t give you?
ROWDI: It was yummy.
SARAHK: Go to your room.

Looks like the IDF stole your whole “Nuke the moon for world peace” plan…

An Israeli warplane flies past the moon over the southern port city of Tyre. Israeli warplanes thundered over Beirut after a six-day lull in an onslaught that Lebanese officials say has killed more than 900 nationals and wounded over 3,000 others in three weeks.(AFP/Hassan Ammar)

Yeah, the whole “Beirut” thing is cover for flying to the moon and nuking it. Seems that just like Joe Scarborough steals Moxie’s ideas, the IDF steals yours.
No idea how they did it though. I mean, you’ve kept the plan under wraps for how long?
Maybe you’ve got some kind of Zionist spy in your midst? Maybe Spacemonkey or Harvey?
Anyway, no use crying over spilt Kosher wine. Do we need to get Kevin to change the logo of the site to a nuclear explosion on Mars?

I found this from a post at Blackfive: D. Challener Croe is looking for 2.996 bloggers to each write a tribute to one of the victims of the September 11th terrorist attacks.
I’ve signed up and will post mine on 9/11/2006. If you have a blog, please consider doing the same.

I think there were a few big things going on other than Mel Gibson and the Democrat Primary in Connecticut. Can anyone remember what they were?

Jane Hamsher, who has worked very closely with the Ned Lamont campaign, decided to photoshop Sen. Lieberman in blackface and post that on HuffPo blog.
Probably just seemed like the smart thing to do.
Anyway, it caused a big controversy, and Lamont condemned the photo and said, “I don’t know anything about the blogs. I’m not responsible for those. I have no comment on them.”
Jeepers! I guess I better explain to him what a blog is.
This is a blog. We post stuff on it (“posting” means putting up bits of words and pictures). That crazy lady who follows you around all the time – Jane Hamsher – she’s a blogger. She puts up words and pictures on the internet (sometimes racist pictures).
Also, the goober who was in that commercial with you and slobbered on your pants – he’s a blogger too. He’s actually the most popular left-wing blogger out there. I’m surprised he didn’t mention why he was stalking you.
Actually, you may wonder why your campaign is so popular to a bunch of people who don’t even live in Connecticut; it’s because of blogs – namely left-wing ones. That’s where your support has come from, so you may want to research that. Pretty soon they’ll demand you to denounce all of America’s military might, make you praise Hezbollah, and ask you to publicly eat your own feces to show your solidarity with them. If you don’t, they’ll jump on you and rip you apart with their teeth.
Yes, those left-wing bloggers are a nutty bunch, so you may want to look into this blog thing. Just ask anyone currently standing around you; they’re probably one of these left-wing bloggers. Don’t make any sudden movements, though; they scare easy and always lash out.
If you’re wondering what right-wing bloggers do, well we just stand back and watch this freak show. It’s fun! Thanks for the entertainment, BTW (shorthand for “by the way”).
Anyone else here who doesn’t know what a blog is?

So a guard dog attacks a museum’s teddy bear display, including destroying Elvis’s teddy bear, and people are mad at the dog. Hey, you expect a guard dog to attack a real bear if it broke into the museum but not hurt teddy bears. How can the dog know the difference? He probably saw the display and assumed they were all under attack by a pack of tiny vicious bears and then did what any Doberman would in that situation: massacre the lot of them.
He should get a medal… or a biscuit. He’d probably like a biscuit better.