So what have you done today to help kill terrorists? Well, a number of people in Hollywood have put a full-page ad in the LA Times demanding all terrorists be killed. Actually, the phrase they used is “stop terrorism at all costs”, but that’s really good for Hollywood people.
Now, my question to Hollywood: Where are the terrorist-killing movies?
Isn’t it time for some big-budget action flick about some Rambo like character shooting his way into Mecca to take out a terrorist cell? I know the America public is just waiting to see a movie where terrorists die many ignominious deaths. Sure, those terrorists will try to hide behind women and children, but that won’t stop the American hero from killing them anyway since he’ll be a great shot and smart. And, when he kills them, he’ll have some humorous quip such as, “You dead now, terrorist!”
And such a movie is important. It would show people that killing terrorists is both necessary and fun, maybe getting more people to join the side in support of dead terrorists.
It’s almost a crime we haven’t had such a movie by now. Why won’t Hollywood give us what we want? We want to watch terrorists get what’s coming to them, but instead they make movies about gay cowboys.
Maybe they just haven’t had a good script yet. That’s hard to believe, since such a movie would write itself (at the beginning of each scene there are terrorists, at the end of each scene there are only dead terrorists; the middle just as to be changed up a little for each one). I know how to type and stuff, so I’ll write the script if given a good enough advance.
Oh! I just thought of a neat scene! One terrorist will start yelling, “Allah ackbar!” but, right after shouting, “Allah…”, the terrorists will go into an extended “Ack!” as he finds himself shot through the mouth by our hero, Frank J. This movie will be so cool! All you Hollywood execs reading this can start making me offers now.
You’re ignoring “Team America: World Police”, however, it IS a crime that we have one movie now and had so many (Iron Eagle, Red Dawn) during the Reagan era. I guess because so many in Hollywood are on the side of the terrorists. Then again, they were on the side of the commies, too, so what gives?
Love the allah Ack!!! bit.
I too would like to see a terrorist-killing movie. I have also been waiting for a good Sci-Fi movie to come out lately. (no, I don’t count AVP as a good sci-fi movie.) Perhaps the two could be combined….
Something like this: The U.S. develops advanced nanotechnology and uses it to equip its armed forces with power armor and mecha.(Not to be confused with Mecca!) Then the kickass futuristic grunts go forth and slaughter the terrorists with lasers, plasma swords, power-assisted punches, and mini-nukes. And there has to be a scene where one of the main terrorists is squashed flat by the armored foot of a 30-foot mecha. Mmmmm, terrorist preserves….oooohhhhh!
Yes, that is the kind of movie (or reality)I’d like to see….
How can you forget the classic “Hot Shots Part Deux”? Or “True Lies” I thought Part Deux was especially relevant to Iraq.
Nah, I think it’s primarily because Cannon Films went out of business. Those guys churned out commando movies by the chumload.
How about a movie where the terrorists unleash a virus on the american population that turns people into flesh eating zombies, then use the resulting chaos to blow us up. Then we’d have terrorist killin’ and terrorist zombie killin’. Plus zombies are dumb, so they’ll also attack the terrorists. Your “Allah ACK! moment could be caused by a zombie sinking his diseased teeth into the neck of the terrorist @#$%er just as he’s about to unload on some small child. Then the hero (Frank J., of course) swoops in, shoots the terrorist @#$%er, then the zombie, and then rescues the kid.
It’s box office gold, I tell ya.
This seems mostly duplicitous to me…
Blowing up Mecca might rob them of the source of their nutty power.
I don’t see zombie movies, but I would go see a movie where the American hero ends up killing lots of terrorists. Maybe he can team up with cute British, Aussie, and Israeli heroes so we can show that the US does too have allies in the war on terror. (plus we love the accents) Oh, and Frank, specify islamic extremist terrorists (the Mecca mention might be too subtle), because otherwise Hollywood will make the terrorists be … um, 2nd amendment supporting right wing fanatics, or Republicans, or something. Put in a plot twist where the liberal commie hippies are passing secret info to the terrorists, therefore they have to be killed too!
sorry I had nothing funny to add in the last post
TV series Frank, this has got to be a TV Series, like Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
shimauma,
Having nothing to ad has never kept me from posting.
I believe that the Chuck Norris movie “Invasion USA” consists primary of scenes of Chuck Norris killing terrorists.
Though, if I remember correctly the terrorists in this movie are Commie terrorists, not Islamafacist terrorists. Maybe its time for a re-make.
The hero should be an NYU student disillusioned with his moonbat professors. He should have a roommate who is some kind of weapon maniac who introduces the hero to the wondrous art of killing.
The love interest should be the granddaughter of some exceedingly ancient (great granddaughter maybe) ninja master, mainly because there are few things prettier than watching a beautiful woman in tight clothing flip out and kill people.
The poo hits the ventilator when the hero passes by a peaceful protest on his way to class, and he makes the mistake of shaking his head in dismay within eyesight of a pair of terrorists, who jump him. The hero responds by killing them. Everything that happens afterward is what logically follows.
“Allah Ack……!”? Sounds like the perfect roll for Bill the Cat.
Maybe you could throw in a small cameo for Mel Gibson? It might boost his image if he was seen killing a few terrorists.
I don’t know, Frank. I think Hollywood has pumped the shark on horror fliks one to many times. Instead, we need more softer and gentler cultural outlets such as seeing Paris Hilton in this year’s Burqa Fall Fashion Show.
Can anyone remember the last movie that dared to take Arabic/Islamic terrorism seriously – that is, with the terrorists plainly stating their aims and engaging in tactics to bring about those aims, without any strings being pulled by multinational corporations and/or Dick Cheney?
The last one that sticks out for me was “True Lies”.
Actually, True Lies came to mind while writing this (and, even back in the day, it got protested for showing Islamic terrorists.”
“You’re fired.”
Now that was a villian death. Too many times the main villian just falls off a building or something. It was nice to see a really creative death.
True Lies is a terrorist-killin’ classic. There’s also Collateral Damage, Team America, and the underrated Executive Decision (where Steven Segal dies in like 10 minutes 😀 ). Sadly, except for Team America, none of these were made during the WOT.
Team America…best movie EVER! The final scene in the limo with Gary the actor is priceless and Hans Blick in the shark tank!!! F@%& Yea!!!
All I had was an Bill The Cat reference, Jihad on jonag, LOL. Most of those movies seem to be pre-9-11 so they don’t count.
We need more movies like True Lies. As has been mentioned, that movie owned. Plus it had Schwarzenegger.
Schwarzenegger killing Islamic terrorists. Mmmm.
I want to see a movie where Islamic extremist terrorists nip at America’s heels a bit too much and get nuked into a glowing glass parking lot. And have America be the good guys for doing so. IMAO (In My Asskicking Opinion) that would rock.
Great Terrorist Killin Movie: Delta Force. And it has the master of all things ass-kicking: Chuck Norris.
America, F@#$ yeah!
Dirka dirka Mohammed jihad!
Other than TAWP there’s been no good terrorist-killing movies. I’m thinking something with Chuch Norris would be good. And Bruce Willis. Yeah.
I think getting Arnold, Chuck and Bruce Willis in a movie about three ex SF guys who have an interior design studio in the Gaza Strip. They could call it “Three Guys and a Jihad”, and well you guys can take it from there.
True Lies is like my favorite movie ever. I’d pay to see a muslim-terrorist-killin’ movie multiple times. Chances are, the sane 95% of Americans would as well.
Heh. “You’re fired.” That was awesome.
LOL! ussjc, you have tickled my memory(good boy!)…ahem, meaning you have made me recall my favorite line of TA:WP, which sorta went like; “Why you bustin’ my baws Hans Bwix?”
Yeah a shrunking down marionette with a speech impedement is about the best and only way I could ever enjoy seeing Kim Jong Il…though Bobby Lee does a good impression on MadTV
“How about a movie where the terrorists unleash a virus on the american population that turns people into flesh eating zombies, then use the resulting chaos to blow us up.”
That would be a lousy movie… but maybe a good video game. Look up “Bad Day L.A.” No Muslim terrorists though… just French terrorists.
Bad Day L.A. is actually really liberal…
…ironically created by a man named American McGee.