Faux-Troll Patrol: Vacation Edition

I’m still vacationing, but a crazy troll left us an excellent playing field for Faux-Troll Patrol in this post. So, go find the added sentences (there are bunch of them, this time) and then reward yourself by buying the new IMAO shirt.
Also, an insecure Canadian (is that redundant?) spammed a bunch of our posts with the same comment, but it’s funny enough as is.
Did you know that Nintendo was made in Canada?
Anyone, it’s such a retarded way to try and anger Americans that I don’t even know where to begin to start… thus I’ll leave it to you guys since I’m on vacation.
Be honorable, ronin.

20 Comments

    1. Also, God told him to call his mother more.
    2. The law that said to kill gay people… or something.”…
    3. “We will soon apprhend this ‘God’ character,” Condon added…
    4. She was happy it was a Tuesday, though….
      5.Authorities were unable to confirm any of this…
      6.This is quite different from the Yorkshire terrier.
    5. His actions were similar to the prophet Elijah who also murdered prostitutes while high on crack…
    6. The technicality was they mistyped his name as “Callahan.”
    7. This violated a number of Washington State labor practice laws.
    8. He thought they might one day lead to a golf player with superhuman powers.
    9. His spree finally ended because of high gas prices…
    10. When asked if he had killed the pair, Williams answered, “Absolutely. I’m a gay people murderer.”
      (I’m not sure about this one)
  1. An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
    “Well,” said the American, “I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth.”
    He continued, ” So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here.”
    “That’s amazing!” said one of the doctors, “But what happened to the other two?”
    “Last I saw them,” replied the American, “the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his.”

  2. A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
    His friend Randy stops him and asks, “Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?”
    “Well, I got it for my wife, you see?” answers Dave.
    “Wow,” exclaims Randy, “Great trade.”

  3. NEWS REPORT:
    The worst airline disaster in Canadian history happened this morning, when a single passenger plane crashed in a large graveyard.
    Rescue workers said that there were no survivors and have retrived 200 bodies so far. That number is expected to increase as digging continues.

  4. What’s all this I keep hearing about inbred Carpathians? Why…if you were born in a tiny part of the world surrounded by mountains and vampires, you’d probably be inbred too. I mean, they have no choice. Anyway, it’s not like they’re Canadians.

  5. And here I am, all this time, thinking that Nintendo was a company in Japan that got its start by making playing cards.
    Next thing we know, Canadians will be claiming responsibility for Pearl Harbor.

  6. Alaskan-ick! I take offense at your silly contention and fart in your general directions! Joost beeecoos we are dee most reviled of all of dee hyphenated nationalities doos not mean we are stinky, smelly-pants, doo-doo heads! Yoo moost have us confuz-ed with your muther! Come back again and I shall taunt you a second time!

  7. Every Canadian knows that their national sovereignty only exists because of our good graces. There’s a lot of oil up there, so perhaps they should be nice to the USA while we’re still willing to pay them for it. Alaskans and Texans will have to settle for second biggest after visiting the State of Ontario.

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