I most earnestly wish that dogs were not nearly as stupid as they are. I want them to speak and understand English. I want them to be learners. So we could have this conversation:
SARAHK: Rowdi, you were already sick.
ROWDI: I know Mommy. Now I’m sicker.
SARAHK: Rowdi, do you know why you’re sick and sicker?
ROWDI: Because God hates dogs?
SARAHK: Possibly. You’re sicker because you dug in the trash and ate something Mommy didn’t give you.
ROWDI: Oh, that’s what makes me sick? Eating stuff you don’t give me?
SARAHK: Yes. Your stomach is the most sensitive stomach on the planet. It’s your fault you’re sick. Did you enjoy the ginger and soy sauce?
ROWDI: It was yummy.
SARAHK: Did you enjoy the wasabi?
ROWDI: It burned my tongue.
SARAHK: Was it all worth it? Knowing that you’re sick because you ate it when Mommy didn’t give it to you?
ROWDI:
SARAHK: Rowdi, do you understand that all this pain and suffering is because you ate the yummy food that Mommy didn’t give you?
ROWDI: It was yummy.
SARAHK: Go to your room.
Poor Rowdi. Doesn’t get a California roll. Doesn’t get any barbegued eel. Poor Rowdi just gets the wasabi, soy sauce and ginger. Poor Rowdi.
Because, as we all know, cats can talk. And do wonderful things like when all the cats in the neighborhood get together and say, “look, someone on the block has recently done some digging in their yard and there’s a fresh pile of dirt just waiting for our nasty, vile feces to be mixed into it.” And no, they don’t learn.
Well, at least I’m on your side, SarahK, even if everybody else hates cats.
Wait… your dog has its own ROOM?!?
C said that cats don’t learn. He’s completely wrong. They learn very well that there’s nothing humans can do to stop them, so they’re just going to do whatever they want. It’s not that cats can’t be trained–it’s that they won’t.
Our cats have always been smart enough to have us right where we wanted them. Our dogs, on the other hand….
Well, I’m with Sarahk. If dogs were smart, they’d be cats…
Funny, if cats could learn, they would not cough up those hairballs, ignore you, be aloof while they are licking their buts while you are talking to them, and understand that your feed them and at the very least attempt to please you.
If, they could learn.
Dogs get better with time, cats are better young. At least they are still cute.
Kat’s right. Cats know there’s nothing you can do to stop them, and they’re pretty darn smart. I can keep dogs out of my yard. But every time I chase a cat out, unfortunately after it’s sprayed something or crapped in my backfill, I know I’ll just have to do it again. They must like making me chase them. And I don’t appreciate being manipulated.
I really hate digging up cat crap, especially when it’s not my cat. It’s got to be the most disgusting smell on the planet.
Maybe a good question for Frank Answers would be how to keep a cat out of your yard. I’ve heard he knows all things.
Best way to keep a cat out of your yard is to spend hundreds of dollars on cat trees and toys, plant catnip, and walk around daily going “Here Kitty! Kitty!!”
They will stay away just to spite you!
Your Rowdi sounds like an incarnation of my Darby, who was smart enough to learn that the best time to raid the trash can was when Mommy was in the bathroom.
I’ve heard that both orange peel and coffee grounds will keep cats out of flower beds. I’ve never tried the orange peel, although the coffee grounds failed miserably. I figured we might have used the wrong blend.
Dogs and cats can be very smart and pleasant, or really stupid and annoying. My family had a rottweiler that we could leave at home all day with full run of the house and never had a problem. Then we got another rott — total opposite. While I’ve known people with great cats, I now have two that are indoor/outdoor because they wouldn’t stay off the table/countertops, stop breaking things, etc. when we kept them inside. Animals are like people: some are great, others you want to punch in the face.
that was frikin’ hilarious!!!
ahhahaha 😀
ROWDI: It’s ok mommy, look at my cute smiling face and see that I still love you too…
but I’m going back for dessert as soon as your back is turned
“They must like making me chase them.” Posted by: c
I prefer to let my .45 FMJ chase them.
How did Sarahs’ post turn into : which is smarter? Dogs or Cats? A little ancedote : An aquaintence has a skeet shack next to his cabin. His wifes’ cat (he won’t claim it) waits by the thrower, when he hears “PULL!”, he chases the clay bird ’till he hears the shotgun speak and runs like hell for the safety of the house. Five or so minutes , he’s back , waitng for “PULL!”. A dog would obviously catch the clay bird and eat it before you could say: “Oh sh*t!”.
The reason I like cats better is because when I call my cat Sam he either comes to me or he looks at me and says (non-verbally) F…..You and then he goes about his business. I like his attitude!
I am not a cat fan. No sir. Because cats think they’re better than me…and I get enough of that from people. Now its true that not all cats are like that…but the cats that are friendly are pretty much all retards….like my friends cat who I once watched run headfirst into a wall for 10 full minutes before it knocked itself out.
And how do friendly cats show their affection? By curling up in my lap…..Well I happen to have some very sensitive body parts there and I don’t need razor-sharp claws next to them.
So, on cats, put me down as “no.”
Rowdi: Of course, if you didn’t want me eating it, why did you put it in a trash can without a locking lid. I’m just saying, if you don’t want me to eat it, why are you putting it where I can reach it?