(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
Figured I should follow the lead of the New York Times and start revealing Israel’s covert ops, since it’s the hip & trendy thing to do when a nation battles terrorists:
- Use uncircumsized bullets – the full metal foreskin provides extra stopping-power.
- Secretly plant an anti-Semitic parrot in Mel Gibson’s house to make him look bad.
- Refer to the terrorists as “tar babies“. If they get offended, apologize by saying “We’re sorry if our thick Israeli accents made you cry-babies misunderstand what we said.”
- Use the Force.
- Develop new head-exploding sonic weapon that transmits a focused beam of Fran Drescher’s hideous voice.
- Refuse to negotiate for the release of hostages, but hint that they might be willing to haggle a bit.
- Institute policy of deliberately targeting innocent Lebanese civilians who get paid by Hezbollah to fire rockets into Israel.
- Have IDF stop toying with the terrorists and switch their swords to their right hands.
- Threaten terrorists with ICBM’s (Intercontinental Ballistic Mohels)
- As Arabs try to push Israel into the sea, back up real quick and laugh when they fall on their faces.
- Feed Popeye some spinach and tell him Bluto is holding Olive Oyl prisoner in Lebanon.
- Kill terrorists 9 at a time with Ginsu Menorah.
- Get Kos to pick the terrorists to win.
By the way, revealing these secrets does NOT make me a terrorist supporter. I just think the terrorists have “a right to know”.
…how they’re going to die.
Funny, yo!
I dugg it.
And first?
Oddly enough, Popeye will likely be involved in any counterstrike against Iran…
“@#$%ing Jews!”
Internet macht frei
Could the &%$#” jew on duty explain what is the ethical difference between male circumcision and female excision?
LOL
That last bullet point definitely would be the kiss of death.
I thought that making fun of their goats was beyond the pale, but this is barbaric!
Well, I’m not the “jew on duty,” but circumcision was instituted as the outward sign of some pretty hefty promises, whereas female excision was not.
I think we should just set the terrorists on fire. Everybody likes fire.
Except the terrorists.
Frog has a good point. Then we could roast a pig on a spit over the terrorists so they get the nice pig drippins before heading to Mosodomed.
MARSHMALLOW ROAST!