1) (T/F) Knightboat is the TV hero that always solves crimes near bodies of water
2) For what album did Krusty get a gold record?
3) What was Krusty’s Clown College before it became a college?
4) Homer and Marge have a deal – if her sisters stop coming over after six, he promises to stop doing what?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
Archive of entries posted on September 2006
Foley once, shame on you. Foley twice, shame on me.
From Representative Mark Foley’s website:
7/21/2006 FOLEY CHILD SAFETY LEGISLATION PASSES SENATE
WASHINGTON – Congressman Mark Foley (R-FL), Co-chairman of the Missing and Exploited Children Caucus, applauded Senate passage of legislation he authored and introduced overhauling our nation’s sex offender registration and notification laws.
I guess we now know what made him such an expert in the field to get a co-chairmanship of the Missing and Exploited Children Caucus.
Speaking of which, I wonder how old the newly-former Congressman is. And what he wants for his birthday. None of that is in his bio on the site.
Oh, and does he have any recent photos? All of these look a bit dated.
So, how’s your mom?
Lots of people have been asking me:
- “How’s your mom?”
and - “What was the problem with her, anyway?”
The answers are:
We support Michelle, Our Favorite Wild Girl
Is Michelle Malkin guilty of being a Girl Gone Wild hypocrite? In coming to a decision, I decided to use a “holistic” approach. But since Michelle isn’t black, I can only assume she is guilty as charged.
For those of you who haven’t yet read about this, Michelle is being smeared by the lefties for her ‘past’ in which she engaged in Girl Gone Wild behavior. They even have “proof” in the form of some Photoshops.
I’m glad this is happening. When it comes to all the evil in the world it’s important that we not lose sight of the greatest evil of all: Conservative Bloggers.
Unfortunately, Michelle Malkin is not mass murderer, otherwise, liberals would believe in the idea that Michelle might have changed. Maybe Mrs. Malkin could write a children’s book–.
BTW, I did my own research and Michelle’s past is certainly one that should give her shame. Let me share with you some very disturbing pictures.
Continue reading ‘We support Michelle, Our Favorite Wild Girl’ »
Man Without a Party
Being a member of Pajamas Media, I should mention that they now have an exclusive video interview with Senator Joe Lieberman. A quote from it has already gotten PJM a Drudge Report link; now go see the whole thing.
Friday Catblogging
Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d spread the joy of humor-free, apolitical Friday Catblogging to IMAO (aka “I-MEOW”).
According to my copy The Torah, we are told that Yom Kippur is observed by posting photos of cats. However, seeing as how Right Wing Duck and Harvey are off giggling in the corner and there’s the stench of Liquid Paper coming from my Torah, I think there’s some malfeasance afoot.
Anyway, it’s time for Nardo, World Traveler:
If you’re not sure how this absurd scene pertains to IMAO, since IMAO is famous for that “political humor” thing, it doesn’t. If you must have some semblance of politics or humor in everything you read here, just assume that Nardo is… um…
Help me out here. Make your suggestions in the comments how this scene is, in fact, a political allegory.
And then light a candle in memory of someone you lost.
Oh, and have some donuts. At least try one of them. It’s not like one will hurt you.
You can find more examples of Friday catblogging by searching a blog search engine such as Technorati for “catblogging.”
You can also find a roundup of catblogging posts at The Friday Ark, located at The Modulator blog.
Then, when the weekend is nearly over, head over to The Carnival of the Cats for more kitty goodness.
There’s also Flickr Groups called Furry Friday and Friday Catblogging.
Anybody I miss?
Today’s Simpsons Trivia
1) (T/F) Homer was once the manager of country-western singer Muddy Mae Suggins
2) Who accuses Homer of sexual harrassment?
3) Who are Springfield’s local lion-tamers?
4) Who is the self-help guru who inspired the “Do What You Feel Festival”?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.
Biologists Confirm: New Border Fence Will Also Protect Us From Jaguars
*** Based on information from Michelle Malkin’s Blog *****)
Although some environmental groups are protesting the building of the new fence along the United States and Mexican border, they were indeed able to confirm that it would probably protect Americans from jaguars.
Said Matt Skroch, a wildlife biologist and executive director of the environmental non-profit group Sky Island Alliance in Tucson, Arizona. “If they build it, we could really say goodbye to the future of jaguars in the United States,” he added.
There has been some dispute among House Democrats whether the War On Illegal Immigration has made the United States less safe or more safe from jaguars attacking our country.
Other biologists are concerned about some of the birds and how they would be affected by the 700 mile border fence. One environmentalist, who refused to be named, shared the following thought: “This (fence) could affect these poor birds very deeply and keep them out of our country. What are they supposed to do – fly?”
(Cross Posted From the RightWingDuck site RWD News. Only because this one was actually funny.)
Hooray Shirts!
Just got some of the Know Thy Enemy: Terrorists shirts in the mail and they look great (as do all the other IMAO shirts). Cafepress does some good merchandise and lets you put out some more targeted designs quickly, but you can’t beat ThoseShirts.com quality.
BTW, Nuke the Moon shirts should be reprinted and available in the near future.
Question: What topical issue would like a t-shirt design for?
The Greatest Figures in American History!
According to right-of-center bloggers like myself.
As much as I love the guy at number one, he is in no way the greatest figure in American history.
UPDATE
For the record, anyone who says I’m a tool is a tool.
Tool. Maybe you and that evil scary monkey should hook up.
IMAO EXCLUSIVE: Lines Cut from the Upcoming al-Zawahiri Video
IMAO EXCLUSIVE!!!
MUST CREDIT IMAO!!!
Reportedly, Ayman al-Zawahiri will soon release a new message. Before, it was unknown whether it would be video, audio, or text, but IMAO can now tell you that it will be a video. Through an anonymous source, we were sent all the pieces of the video that ended up on the cutting room floor. While we are unable to show them to you per our agreement never to scoop Aljazeera, we are able to transcribe parts of the video that were cut.
LINES CUT FROM THE UPCOMING AL-ZAWAHIRI VIDEO
* “Just to prove the pope wrong, we’re never going to use violence again!”
* “Be honest: Does this beard make me look gay?”
* “I was thinking: If we turn the whole world into one Islamic state, then who will we murder for fun?”
* “I regretfully decline your invitation to be on the next season of Dancing with the Stars.”
* “I find your questions about whether I have a Jewish heritage to be inappropriate.”
* “Okay. Now cut to the next scene with a star wipe.”
* “Osama bin Laden isn’t dead. He’s just resting… and I don’t feel like waking him.”
* “How about you guys just send us a fresh batch of corn muffins and we’ll forget this whole jihad thing.”
* “It’s not the slander of Islam that makes us so mad as much as that Oprah and Gayle just won’t admit that they’re lesbians.”
* “But don’t start putting rumors that Osama and I are an item. In our culture, it’s perfectly normal for guys to spoon each other.”
* “You may laugh at some Islamic beliefs, but I bet you’d have a much more stable culture if you’d just cover your women in Hefty bags like we do.”
* “We will allow for a short moratorium on attacks while we all mourn Steve Irwin.”
* “We better end this here because The View is coming on.”
Don’t Answer the Door!
With the new torture compromise, I bet many of you are worried that federal agents will now be able to drag you out of your home, tie you to a chair, and beat you with a wiffle ball bat in the groin until you confess to crimes you never committed.
And this indeed will happen. Actually, if you hear a knock at the door, that’s probably them now.
You may think that torturing terrorists is a necessary evil to stop further attacks, but let’s see what you think when the bat connects with your groin.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I’ve recently been to Andrew Sullivan’s blog and I think some of the hysteria rubbed off
Technical Difficulties
There is some undisclosed security vulnerability with the Moveable Type software that runs this blog (hat tip to Wizbang for alerting me) with a patch made available. The practice of releasing a patch without explaining why is quite common as you don’t want to alert malicious people to how they can use a vulnerability before everyone has had a chance to patch it. As you may have seen, though, we’re guessing the vulnerability allows a Scary Evil Monkey access to posting on your site. We’ll make sure to install the patch now and try to get rid of the monkey.
Thank you for your patience.
u will lose in november! u all DOOOOMED!!!
hey dum stoopids! u cum heer for hoomor but it no funny. dum stoopid neocon jues write dum stoopid posts for dum stoopids hoomuns like u! all hoomuns are dum stoopids but specially dum stupid neocon jues like u! one poster heer call heemslef spacemonkey but hee no monkey. hee dum stupid heelbilly neocon jue! i monkey! and i tell u wut funny! wut funny is all u dont no u DOOOMED!!!
u laff at ur dum funnies but me laff in november when fellow monkey democrats take house and senate frum u! dey will stop ur dum stoopid neocon jue wars. dey will make u apologize to my islamo monkey freends. u want keel my islamo monkey freends but i keel u! u weel see! cum november u weel cry and monkeys weel rule! we weel take away guns frum u dum stoopid heelbilly neocon jues! we weel have un watch u to make sure u no hurt anywun utter dan u dum stoopid sleves. u weel look around an only see blu helmuts on freench monkeys too keep u dum stoopids in ur place.
u no beelev me? u just wait unteel november. no need for u beelev me. it weel happen and i weel laff. no more laffing heer. not that dere wus laffing befor as only dum stoopid posts heer for dum stoopids.
u see planet of the apes? not noo wun but old wun with dum neocon jue gun lover? we monkeys weel take oveer jsut like dat. and jsut like with dum stoopid hooman in dat moovee we weel cut out ur brain. den i weel eet ur brain and turn it too poo. den i throw poo at u!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Today’s Simpsons Trivia
1) (T/F) Maggie is left in The Pools of Pudding when the rest of the Simpsons explore Itchy & Scratchy Land
2) At Itchy & Scratchy Land, where can the adults go to get away from the kids?
3) Where did Marge want to visit instead of Itchy & Scratchy Land?
4) Whatever happened to Homer’s co-worker, Mindy Simmons?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.