When I get back to regular blogging next week, I’d like to take another stab at Frank Answers™. The procedure for submitting questions for Frank Answers™ has changed, though; just put them in the comments to this post.
And you better give me some good questions this time, or I swear I’m going to get some new readers.

As if Disney’s perversion of the Carlo Collodi classic wasn’t bad enough.
From Turkey, the same country that keeps Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf in their Bestseller’s list, civilization is further lessened by their recent bastardization of Pinocchio and other classic Western folk tales:

The wooden puppet in Carlo Collodi’s classic book that wanted to become a real boy was blessed with many interesting features and never ceased to amaze his father, but it now turns out he was also Muslim
In a new version of the book, that was released in Turkey, Pinocchio turns to his father and emotionally announces: “In the name of Allah, give me some bread.” Along with dozens of other books that were included in a list recommended by the Turkish Ministry of Education, “Pinocchio” was forced to become Muslim.

Just take a look at the top ten changes they made to the classic tale:

• Pinocchio is carved from a Jew’s coffin left over from a late-night cemetery desacration party.
• Gepetto’s workshop is used for making wooden rifles for Palestinian security forces while they sell the real rifles to Hamas and Islamic Jihad.
• The Blue Fairy wears a Blue Helmet and is pretty much useless throughout the whole story, spending her time sipping tea with Hezbollah snipers to provide them international peacekeeper human shield coverage.
• Jiminy Cricket is now Hassan Locust, Pinocchio’s symbolic outrage against Western Imperialism and support for the Zionist cause.
• When Pinocchio lies, the fuse on his C-4 vest gets longer.
• The Marionette Theater is really just a front for a Saudi-funded madrassa that preaches Wahhab extremism.
• The Farmer’s chicken coop that Pinocchio is forced to guard is a Qassam launching site.
• The Cat and The Fox are Mossad agents, trying to make Pinocchio reveal the location of terrorist cells and weapons factories.
• He’s not turned into a donkey. He’s turned into a camel.
• Who’s ever heard of whales in the Mediterranean? It’s more likely he’s swallowed up into an Israeli detention center and reunited with Gepetto the terrorist there.

Continue reading ‘Islamic Pinocchio’ »

So, the UN says that if some lunatic is trying to kill you or me, we don’t necessarliy have the right to defend ourselves with deadly force. Because the (nanny) state can’t guarantee we’ll do enough to preserve the right to life of the lunatic. Part of the reason is the idea that “firearms are to be used only in extreme circumstance”. Seems like using a firearm makes any circumstance more extreme.
Case in point:
-Getting the mail.

Me: {whistling} Hey! Cool, the new Popular Mechanics!

No firearm. Not extreme.
-Getting the mail

Me: {whistling} Hey! Cool, the new Popular Mechanics! Hooray [BLAM BLAM].

Extreme.
-Getting the mail from the postman

Me: {whistling} Hey! Cool, the new Popul…
Postman: No whistling near the mail! That’s a federal offense and I’m {thumbs USPS patch on chest} a federal employee.
Me: {whist–What’s with the gun?
Postman: Prepare to die. [opens fire] BLAM, BLAM].
Me: {ducks behind mailbox} Stop oppressing me you postal lunatic! [Removes holdout pistol from ankle holster and without UN approval, returns fire. [BLAM, {whistle} BLAM, {whistle}, BLAM]

Extremely extreme. Notice how much extremer it got with two guns and the armed response to attempted oppression.
Then they include this gem.

Even when firearm use does not result in death, the injuries caused by firearm shots can be paralyzing, painful, and may immobilize a person for a much longer period of time than would other methods of temporary immobilization.

OUCH, getting shot hurts! Do these buffoons realize many of the people they are ticking off happen to own these firearms capable of inflicting said injuries and lengthy immobilizations? I’m guessing, probably not.
Anyway, I might be personally concerned, if this load of crap were coming from anywhere besides the U.N.