Season premiere of the most watched drama on TV big.
As you know, my silly sister Sarah is a costume designer. She got to do a “little” work for an episode of CSI, and it ends up its the season premiere this Thursday, 9PM ET. Watch it and see if you can figure out what costume she made.

Iran’s Madman-In-Chief Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will be speaking at the United Nations shortly.
The United Nations streams the annual “debates” at http://www.un.org/webcast/ in RealPlayer format.
The text of his speech along with a video clip of his speech will probably be posted at http://www.un.org/webcast/ga/61/index.shtml sometime afterwards.

As you all know, a mysterious object is keeping Shuttle Atlantis from landing. Can one conclude that this mysterious object is in fact an alien craft?
Yes, there is no other reasonable conclusion.
Also, are we to conclude the aliens are here to harvest our blood?
Since there is no evidence the aliens have purchased tickets to Disney World, the only reasonable conclusion is that they are here to harvest our blood.
Thus, we should all prepare for an alien attack. As for my preparations, I will stock up on firewood. Since I live in Florida and have never had a need for firewood, I have none and thus need to stock up.
All in all, I am very disappointed in President Bush. He was supposed to build a wall to the south to keep Mexicans out and a wall to the north to keep Canadians out and a large dome to keep space aliens out. He has failed. When the aliens land and begin to harvest our blood, there will be no one to blame but Bush. It is unreasonable to blame the aliens, because they know no of nothing else than blood harvesting.
And I am reasonable.

As you probably know, the following are the interrogation techniques the CIA is requesting to use:
* Inducing hypothermia (“I’m sorry, but I can’t make it warmer in here because it’s already too hot in my office and both areas are controlled by the same thermostat.”)
* Forcing suspects to stand for prolonged periods (“Now watch as I put a plush pillow on this chair you’re not allowed to sit on! Muh ha ha ha!”)
* Sleep deprivation (“You asleep yet? …How about now? …How about now? …How about now? …”)
* Forcefully seizing the suspects shirt (“I’ve grabbed your shirt! Now tell me all you know!”)
* Open hand slapping that hurts but does not lead to physical damage (“That was for being fresh!”)
* Belly slap (“Pink belly! Pink belly! Pink belly!”)
* Sounds and light manipulation (“I’m going to turn on and off the lights until you tell me all you know! Still not talking? Then lets listen to Sting’s Greatest Hits!”)
Many consider these brutal forms of torture that put America on equal footing with the terrorists we propose to stop. But, if these techniques aren’t allowed, then what are?
In response, those opposed to America becoming a nation of torture have proposed a bill that outlines acceptable interrogation techniques. Here is the excerpt from the relevant portion:

Continue reading ‘IMAO EXCLUSIVE: New Proposed Interrogation Techniques’ »

“Macaca!”
“Jew!”
“Macaca!”
“Jew!”
“Macaca!”
“Joooooooo!”

As mentioned last night, the interrogation techniques the CIA wants to use to question terrorists have been revealed, and one is to make terrorists stand for long periods of time. The always excitable Andrew Sullivan is quick to point out that forcing people to stand IS EXACTLY WHAT SOVIET GULAGS DID!
So, before you start supporting this interrogation technique, you have to ask yourself whether you’re comfortable being as bad as Stalin – or a McDonald’s employer – by forcing people to stand for long periods of time. Is it really worth saving hundreds or even thousands of innocent lives if that information was gained by making someone stand? Is it?
IS IT?!
Well, I won’t stand for this… because standing for this would only be torturing myself.

Reminder: Today is International Talk Like a Pirate.
Since it’s international, I wonder if they’ll observe it at the U.N. It would be pretty cool if Mahmoud Ahmadinejad got up to speak and said, “Arrr! Those jooos in Israel are after me doubloons!”
And then someone shoots him with a musket.
UPDATE:
I forgot Bush’s speech at the U.N. is today. Maybe he’ll threaten some dictators with keelhauling.

Iraqi police guard precious shipments of Avon beauty products during delivery to the newly de-burqafied women of Iraq.
[Hat tip to CENTCOM for the pic]