As you’ve probably seen, Al Qaeda is now trying to recruit everyone into Islam. I don’t think that will work out too well, as they’ve yet to give any reason to join their happy fun religion other than that, if we don’t, they may possibly one day successfully do another terrorist attack and kill a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of one percent of the non-Islamic population. It’s telling their recruiting campaign sticks to empty threats rather than listing the merits of Islam, because, apparently, there just aren’t any merits to list.
What is the average Muslim? Some guy who hasn’t bathed in a week wearing a dress as he wanders the desert escorting a woman dressed like a ninja. What possible sane reason can someone name for me to want to be a part of that? Is there anything other than murderousness that Muslims succeed the rest of the population in? Have they contributed anything scientifically or culturally to the world in the past hundred years? They did get us to change our screening procedures at airports, but I’m stumped at coming up with anything more significant than that.
To be sure, there are plenty of smart, productive Muslims… but they’re all here in Western countries run by the non-Islamic. The more Islamic a country gets, the more Godforsaken it seems to be… which really doesn’t speak well of the religion. Were you to look at the conditions of Muslims versus non-Muslims, one can only conclude that God really doesn’t like Islam. I’m not saying that’s true; I’m just saying that were one to observe things objectively, you’re forced to conclude that. The Islamic countries are pretty much the worst countries out there. Like Robinson Crusoe, they’re as primitive as can be (but more murderery). Do they even make those Korans they love to read, or are those done by independent presses here in the States? Do those dress-like garments they wear bear the labels “Made in Taiwan”? I really want to know.
Sure, they do have oil, which, by itself, seems like a gift from God, but, when taken against everything else, it’s more like a few nickels tossed at a beggar. It’s like God gave the Islamic countries oil just to keep them around to laugh it. If it weren’t for their oil, the rest of the world would pretty much ignore them while they slaughtered each other (though some entrepreneur might film some of the carnage to sell packaged along with Bum Fights).
Now, I know the response to this: “Sure, Muslims don’t seem very favored in this world, but wait until the rewards in the next.” Now, I haven’t read the Koran (it’s next on my reading list after Tom Clancy’s Op-Center XII: War of Eagles), but, apparently, if you blow yourself along with a room full of daycare students, you get 72 virgins in heaven. Thus, Islam seems to be out to attract sex perverts. Still, is 72 women whom you really want to spend all eternity with? I know I don’t find it to be that great an idea. Eventually, you will get tired of the sex, and will any of these women be able to give interesting opinion on the latest episode of Battlestar Gallactica or be good competition for a game of Mario Kart? I don’t know, and the Koran is silent on this issue. What I do know is, when my wife find me with 72 no-longer-virgins, heaven is going to become hell rather quickly.
All in all, Islam seems to be full of a lot of murderous, barbaric, moron losers who obviously don’t have any girlfriends. I don’t know if Islam causes people to be murderous, barbaric, moron losers, but there certainly is a strong correlation between the two. Maybe Islam, as it now stands, happens to attract murderous, barbaric, moron losers while repelling kinder more intelligent people. I just don’t know, but what I do know is that, at this time, I’m going to have to decline Al Qaeda’s generous offer to join their religion which, by any objective measure, is quite crappy.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as “Glances of the Legendary: New Documented Sighting of Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and Moderate Muslims” and “The Scientific Contributions of Muslims in the Past One Hundred Years (Now with a Third Page of Pictures)”.
Yep, that pretty much sums it up.
Islam is a religion of peace, and if you dont believe me I will KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!!
//Like Robinson Crusoe, they’re as primitive as can be //
Does this mean Osama Bin Laden = Gilligan?
Bummer…I liked Gilligan.
I thoroughly enjoyed your post, which sums it up accurately as far as I’m concerned.
The Muslim run countries seem to be trying to become more primitive every day. While the west looks to the future, Islam looks to the past.
What is the best recipe for some kind of samdwiches?
Accomplishments?
Masters at sharpening a Blade?
Although you losers seem to both like capital pubishment, and are both strongly against homosexuality.
and are both blind to science: evolution and global warming
Carbon dioxide levels are substantially higher now than at any time in the last 800,000 years, the latest study of ice drilled out of Antarctica confirms.
The in-depth analysis of air bubbles trapped in a 3.2km-long core of frozen snow shows current greenhouse gas concentrations are unprecedented.
Also, cows are burping more because of an increasing lack of civility among them.
today on the BBC.
a,
I know when I see a post about Islam and terrorism, the first I think about is global warming.
Then again, I eat paint chips like there’s no tomorrow.
AnonLiberal: You point out some areas where Muslims and Conservatives have some similar views, and you seem to think that those few areas outweigh the plethora of other areas where we disagree with Muslims. I have an idea for a sociological experiment that should help you see the differences more clearly.
Part 1: Walk around any large US city in a burqa, eating some delicious falafel, and declaring openly your devotion to Allah. Next day, walk around in whatever stereotypically gay outfit you can come up with, be flamboyant, try to pick up guys, etc.
Part 2: Walk around in Tehran and, if you’re a woman, do not wear a burqa, and roam about without a male family member accompanying you. Eat a ham sandwich and declare your love for Jesus. Next day, walk around in whatever stereotypically gay outfit you can come up with, be flamboyant, try to pick up guys, etc.
If you survive the 2nd part of this experiment, come back and report to us just how similar our societies are, how conservatives are just as intolerant as Muslims, etc. If you can still see real similarities and say so with a straight face, I’ll eat some falafel.
Also, since you devoted half your post to a random rant about global warming: I am a conservative, and I believe in global warming. What I DON’T believe is that humans are a significant factor. The world climate has undergone dramatic shifts LONG before the industrial age. Did you know that the most common greenhouse gas, at 95% of all greenhouse gases, is water vapor? So the carbon dioxide level is up a bit. Now instead of being a fraction of a percentage of the greenhouse gases, it’s an infinitesimally larger fraction of a percentage. Clearly we’re all doomed.
Islam makes me think of burping cows too.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…paint chips.
Great new weapon idea for the GWOT. Load Burping Cows with paint chips, globally warm them with carbon dioxide and fling them at terrorists.
FrankJ you infidel pig dog. You do not understand the beauty and purity of Islam. Perhaps this poem will explain to you the true nature of my religion.
Ya Allah forgive me
Forgive me, for i sinned
The Pork BarBQ I have eaten
As my pig dog wife went unbeaten
I myself indulged into this world’s contentment
And saw it all as nothing but a mere amusement
All the obligatory prayers i did neglect and abandon
The Sunnah and Tarawih subhana-Allah, not to mention
Ya Allah forgive me for i did fornicate
In a non-muslim’s cultures i did willingly acclimate
Your words, the Holy Qura’n i heedlessly neglected
While Hustler and Jugs i contentedly selected
Oh Allah the Holy month of Ramadhan i did not fast
Neither the one now nor any in the past
When people asked, i was excused due to the runs
But Allah you’re all-knowing, i was fonlding some camel’s buns
Whilst the call for Salat or Da’wa was there, i did not listen
But the the breasts of that stripper did wonderfully glisten
A muslim i am, i confidently declare
But for worship, not a minute do i spare
Ya Allah forgive my perverted thinking
Not to mention the whoring around and drinking
Starting today, myself and my attire i will purify
Pray, fast, abstain from sins and only you i will gratify
Allah you are my Guide, your will I will abide
As i continue to drink, smoke and get some on the side
Oh Allah you are Omniscient
I cannot stand our bitches dressed in those tents
Ya Allah, the sustainer of wisdom and knowledge
Have you seen those western bitches ast the local junior college
All-knowing you are and All-hearing
You are the creator, the provider and All-seeing,
To your infinite powers i humbly surrender
Declare a jihad on the clown who put a dent in my fender
For what Islam is i now did unerstand
The mosque will i attend if they have a band
Thank you Allah for showing me the way
For without your guidance i would have gone astray
For you i sacrifice this cow
Could i have a coupla those 72 virgins now?
“The more Islamic a country gets, the more Godforsaken it seems to be… which really doesn’t speak well of the religion.”
This NEEDS to be on a t-shirt.
Allah’s Servant, a Muslim man named Achmed dies and goes to heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter.
“Welcome to Heaven Achmed” proclaims Saint Peter, “Let your hearts’ desire be known.”
Well, replies Achmed, I am very anxious to meet Allah.
“Very well, follow me” says Saint Peter.
Achmed and Peter walk into a huge dining hall where a feast is being prepared. They sit down and Saint Peter asks Achmed what he would like to drink.
“Nothing”, replies Achmed.
“Surely you must have something to drink” says Peter.
No, Achmed exclaims, I thought we were going to meet Allah.
“Yes, you will meet him very shortly,” says Peter, “but first you must order a drink.”
Very well, said Achmed, I’ll have tea.
“So will I” says Peter, clapping his hands together loudly he shouts, “Allah, two teas.”
Islam’s new motto: “Try Islam, it’s craptastic!”
FrankJ wrote:
“Islam seems to be full of a lot of murderous, barbaric, moron losers”
Pot, meet kettle.
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
The mfl critter is being stupid again, though I realize that IS a regular state for it, it’s not getting a that this statement “Islam seems to be full of a lot of murderous, barbaric, moron losers” is talking about barbaric moronic losers who are murderously trying to convert people to their way of thinking. I don’t know any conservatives doing that. Conservatives only get murderous when people are ridiculously stupid, which I wouldn’t consider moronic, but extremely practical and logical.
Pot meets Kettle:
Pot: “Hello Kettle.”
Kettle: “dirka dirka Jihad!!”
Pot: “Did you just call me black?”
Kettle: “Muhammad dirka Jihad dirka!!”
Pot: “Whatever man.”
Kettle: KA-BOOM!! [blows self up]
Evolution actually is compatible with Islam, according to them, the goats and Islamic fanatics share a common ancestor.
MFL – That was great. Did you steal that one from Misha? I’m impressed by that totally original and not at all overused insult.
Concerning the homosexuality issue in Muslim countries, they have a saying: “Women are for babies, men are for fun.”
There’s another saying from the Marines stationed there: “the best thing to do is start at the Black Sea and work south, killing anything that isn’t circumcised.”
Tommy, I’m very much afraid it’s “Women are for babies, boys are for fun.” 😛
After the Taliban were defeated in Afghanistan, as I recall, a joke was making the rounds: “Why do birds fly over Kabul using only one wing?” “So they can cover their butts with the other one!”
Islam is a religion of chauvanism & repressed homosexuality. Their obsession with making their women dress like beekeepers isn’t so that they aren’t distracted from following allah; it’s because they don’t want to be distracted by a woman when they spot a really attractive unwashed hairy male escorting her to the market.
I bet those “72 virgins” all have Adam’s apples….
MFL you ignorant slut. Since you can obviously get your head waaaaay up yer ass perhaps you can get cable hooked up in there too. “Islam seems to be full of a lot of murderous, barbaric, moron losers”. Read a paper, watch even the mudstream media, get a date with Katie couric. Who is killing, beheading, bobmbing , etc. A bunch of murderous, barbaric, moron losers who all happen to be muslims. We had a saying back in the day, “The only thing I feel when I kill is the recoil of my rifle.” You are lucky you got kids willing to put their life on the line for dipshits like you. and you are a doo doo head.
Great post Frank…got it linked…
UNCLE MAC IS PISSED
About the 72 virgins….
So, after the first day or two – when Ahmed has nailed ’em all; they’re no longer virgins.
Eternity is a long time, baby…