A Hasidic Jew was praying on an Air Canada flight (h/t Glenn Beck), and the flight attendant told him to shut it, then they landed the plane and escorted him off and put him on the next flight. He didn’t speak English or French, but he kept saying “I’m not a Muslim, you buttfaces!”, and I’m pretty sure a Muslim wouldn’t have claimed to be an evil Joooo. They had to get to the ground and wait for a translator to understand that “I’m a Jew” means “I’m not going to kill you.”
His rocking back and forth with a head covering was bothering people.
Ok. Honestly, if I’d seen that, I’d have been freaking out. Alright, I’d have been on notice as soon as I saw the head covering come out of the carry-on. I’d have been on my feet hitting the flight attendant ding button projectile vomiting on my fellow passengers. I’m a paranoid profiling nutjob, and I know it. Just ask Frank, who had to fly with me this week. And I’d have been listening. Is he saying Allah? Is he saying filthy infidels? Is that an Akbar? No wait. That guy just said Yahweh. And he’s just rocking back and forth praying.
And when the flight attendant asked him to stop praying and he didn’t say stuff about infidels and Allah, blah blah blah, that should have been a clue, no? The guy flat out said he wasn’t a Muslim. And he didn’t start acting all crazy when he got approached. And I’ll bet he looked something like these guys.
The Jewish group B’nai Brith Canada has offered to help give Air Canada crews sensitivity training.
Um… Let’s not go there, or CAIR and the ACLU will be jumping all over that and making sure flight attendants are sensitive to the poor wittle feewings of Muslims and making sure no one ever asks them to calm down when they’re screaming about Allah and trying to down the planes. “Everyone listen to how Omar’s feeling. What he’s saying is that America is the Great Satan, and we need to be more sensitive to his cause. Can everyone just join hands with Omar and tell him one of the things you like about him. Ok, I’ll start. Omar, I think your bomb is pretty.”
Not that I’ll ever fly Air Canada. I hear they speak English and French.
So if I ever accidentally do fly Air Canada, how do I tell the difference between a praying Hasidic Jew and an Islamofascist who wants to murder the infidels? Put your answers in the comments. Please. If you don’t know, make something up. Do some research. I tried, but it’s hard.
UPDATE: I should read IMAO more often. My h/t should have been to IMAO.
No one read IMAO.
Anyway, Joooos are easy to spot because they will spend the flight counting their money.
Sarahk:
You wrote:
“I’m a paranoid profiling nutjob”
I agree with you on this point 100%.
Especially on the “paranoid” and “nutjob” parts.
As far as your question.
“How do I tell the difference between a praying Hasidic Jew and an Islamofascist who wants to murder the infidels?”
If the person has a prayer shawl over his head and is nodding up and down speaking Hebrew, most likely Orthodox Jew.
If he is threatening the passengers with a boxcutter while his compatriots fly the plane into a large building — terrorist.
Not really that hard when you think about it, is is?
Oh, yeah. You have to THINK about it!
Not just give in to your fears of anything that seems “different”, “strange” or “foreign”.
I forget that that is kinda hard for you to do, isn’t it?
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
Hasidic Joos wear hats. They have curly fries coming from under the sides of their hats.
Muslims wear diapers on their heads and have stink coming from every pore. Some also have wires coming from their shoes and they think that shoestrings work best when flaming.
Monkey Faced Liberals don’t wear diapers. They don’t want to wrinkle their mom’s panties. Some of them do stink though.
Crikey! Now that Steve Irwin has passed on, there’s nobody to swing MFL around by his tail while he squeals in anger. (Back in the cage you angry little bugger. That’s right…roll in your own feces!)
Any way…I agree we shouldn’t give into our fears when it comes to strange foreign people. Instead, we should give into our rage when strange foreign people hurt us. After we level their cities and crush their bones into powder, their friends will say “Oh my Allah! We shouldn’t hurt the Americans any more because they like to pummel strange, foreign people who try to hurt them. I swear to Muhammed I will leave Americans alone and keep my smelly self and my bombs off their airplanes! And I will never again say bad things about their warrior president, peace be upon him.”
And then we wouldn’t have to be afraid of stange foreigners! Because only the harmless strange foreigners would get on airplanes. The others wouldn’t be stupid enough any more. And SarahK could fly in peace.
So…where was I? Oh yes…bomb the living sh!t out of the middle east until the smelly murdering muslims are more scared of trying to harm Americans than of their own prophet and god. After that we won’t have to fear strange foreigners on our planes. And Jews will be able to pray in peace again.
That’s all I have to say.
Joooos!!!
sarahkj you are not a nut job. and monkey faced liberal you are. did you think those maniacs who took down the planes came on board with the boxcutters in their hands? or do you think they might have appeared normal until later in the flight? you must be right though mfl…because i have noticed it makes more sense to frisk a two year old or an 80 year old than a muslim with his koran in his hands.
MFL – check out the t-shirt babe pics. Those aren’t airsoft guns that she’s holding and she knows how to use them. You might not want to offend the t-shirt babe or her inner hellcat may rip you a new Clymer.
Or, you can ask them if they want some bacon and he will say, “No thanks, I’m Jewish”
Or, show him a Mohammed Cartoon.
Hilarious. It just works on so many levels.
I think we are losing our collecting friking minds! A Jooooo is praying and rocking forward and back and a bunch of rubes have him escorted off the plane? I think I’d get the hell off the plane myself. Good grief what are we becoming?
MFL’s don’t squeal in anger…they either squeal like Ned Beatty in Deliverance or they squeal like high school girls.
MFL,
HAH! Man, you sure took her down a notch or two. I mean you took her “I’m a paranoid profiling nutjob” line and then turned it all around, mixed it up and called her a “paranoid”, and a “nutjob”. Whoa Nelly! Harsh! Old school!
Then you said she would have to THINK. Oh man. The implication is devastating, she doesn’t think, in the manner of a dumb or possibly thoughtless person! Wow, you probably have her doubled over in tears. Ber-ah-ute-all!
We may have to shut down the site now due to your overwhelming vicious attack of biting humor.
Where DO you come up with this witty, witty stuff?
I know you’ve been gone for a while. Your silence has been felt keenly, the pleasant way. However, I didn’t know you were getting your Ph.D. from Advanced Sarcasm School.
Anyway, if the site stays up long enough for you to see this, I just want you know, you need a good refreshing punch.
It sounds like flying Air Canada is a lot like attending a public school-no praying allowed!! That reminds me of a history professor I had that told his classes “I don’t care if you drink booze during class, but don’t let me catch you praying.”
My solution to airline security has always been to allowed concealed carry on flights. Essentially you would have every flight packed with amateur air marshals. 9/11/2001 would have ended with 19 dead terrorists and a handful of friendlies wounded by strays.
Adopt my plan and we can all drink and pray to our hearts content while flying.
Once again, MFL proves that humor is wasted on her.
Projectile vomit is ALWAYS funny…and a welcome part of any long plane ride.
If the suspect holds up a staff and parts the legs of the stewardess so his people can escape the Egyptian Army, he may be a jew. If the suspect smells like old olives, has the lady sitting next to him in a headlock and is beating the shit out of her, it maybe a muslim terrorist.
MFL – you are a card! You need to be dealt with. And you are a doo doo head.
What do you say to a black Jew?
Go sit in the back of the oven!
“projectile vomite”…best scene ever was Gary after getting drunk in Team America World Police…Priceless!
You have to be a f***ing moron to confuse an elderly Jew and a Muslim. Were there no other Jews on the plane? See, this is why Canada doesn’t deserve to have its own country; they’re unable to master basic observation. We should just manifest destiny their ass.
Monkeyface – That whole “reality-based” thing isn’t working out for you is it? The man was a Hasidic Jew, NOT an Orthodox Jew. …or are you just that ignorant?
You have to give Canada a break…we here in Minnesota see a great deal of these people. Most of them are very friendly and understand that their government has been taken over by the French and they have essentially given-up having been trained by the Nanny State Knows Best for all these years. Yea, they are pathetic…but get ready because our republican party has f’d things up so bad that it has set things up for the ultimate Nanny…”Herself” to come in and take over and we will all become Canadians who are hen-pecked to death!
Pat:
Your comment was funny, since it clearly shows that you yourself did not read the article that SarahK herself linked to.
The article, like me, describes the passenger as an “Orthox Jewish man.”
It is true that a fellow passenger describes the man as “clearly a Hasidic Jew”, which he certainly could be, since Hasidic Jews are Orthodox, after all.
But given that the man could not speak English, I think that the passenger who made this determination based just on how the passenger looked and his practice of nodding while praying with a prayer shawl.
Since he made this determination based upon his appearance, I think (and I imagine the reporter thought as well) that the passenger might be a member of the Litvish Jewish community, or even an observant member of the Modern Orthodox community. Read more here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthodox_Judaism.
In any case, I don’t think my referring to the passenger in the same way as the ORIGINAL ARTICLE demonstrates that I am not part of the reality-based community or ignorant.
If you can provide a reason why it is ignorant of me to refer to the man in the same way as the reporter who wrote the article, please let me know.
And in the future, before critizing people for not being “reality-based” or calling them ignorant, you might want to actually research the facts yourself first.
Or you can continue to flippantly make comments that make you look like an idiot.
Your choice.
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
//Or you can continue to flippantly make comments that make you look like an idiot. //
I think the mfl critter has this one covered.
hey, MFL, perhaps you should Wiki Hasidic Jew. The article there contrasts Hasidic v. Orthodox.
Or perhaps you should jump in a lake. Or punch yourself in your dumb monkey face. Or come over here and let me do it. Or just come over here so I can do it by force.
“If he is threatening the passengers with a boxcutter while his compatriots fly the plane into a large building — terrorist.”
-mfl
The problem is, if it’s reached that point, you’re already screwed.
You should have kept an eye out for anything that seemed “different”, “strange” or “foreign”.
SarahK:
Gosh, who knew that IMAO readers were so interested in Jewish sectarism?
As far as wiking the article that contrasts Hasidic v. Orthodox, are you referring to the one that states:
“The reconciliation [between the Misnagdim, those that rejected Hasidism, and Hasidm] took place in response to the perceived even greater threat of the Haskala, or Jewish Enlightenment. Since then Orthodox Judaism, and particularly Haredi Judaism, has subsumed all the sects of Hasidic Judaism.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasidic_Judaism
Subsumed, by the way, means to “encompass as a subordinate or component element.”
And, as I noted before, the reporter who wrote the article, like me, referred to the man in question as an Orthodox Jew.
Are you saying the reporter is wrong as well?
If the reporter is wrong, why did you link to the article to support your post?
By the way, I did not, and do not, have a problem with you referring to the man as Hasidic. My guess is that he is.
But then, if he is Hasidic, then he is also Orthodox, so what is the big deal?
Finally as far as the fact that I should “punch [myself] in [my] dumb monkey face. Or come over here and let me do it. Or just come over here so I can do it by force.”
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Also, it doesn’t really make sense. If you punch someone, doesn’t it imply that you are doing it “by force?”
If so, why add another sentence about doing it “by force?”
Of course, responding to a comment by making a nonsensical violent threat IS what a paranoid nutjob would say to someone who pointed out their ignorance and xenophobia, so really, I shouldn’t be surprised.
Peace!
Monkey Faced Liberal
why does anyone even bother responding to the troll(MFL)… Do you think s/he will ever having an idea that is not on the dnc talking points…do we think that we can change s/he?…or is it fun just to give him/her crap. I say delete his/her comments and get on with the funny…(and if possible hellbender :))
I was embarrassed to be an American taxpayer during my last flight out of MSP (Minneapolis/St. Paul) when I had to witness three servicemen, in uniform, take off their combat boots so they could board a flight to start a journey that would eventually get them to Iraq. I sat with one of them as he was putting his boots back on. As I looked up to the screener, I inquired if his mother was proud of him. Needless to say, I got wanded and delayed. At least we still have curbside check in.
Who’s up for punching Monkey Face Liberal until he cries?
So we are checking the boots of our service men and women now to make sure they aren’t going to blow up the airplane on the way to Iraq? Well, I feel safer! God, I hate some of the crap this administration is doing! How about looking for dark skined guys from middle eastern countries that might be muslims and leaving the rest of us the hell alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Idiots!!!! And the democrats want to give MORE power to government idiots like these!!!!!!!
Almost all MFL’s will cry like a school girl if threatened with any form of violence, since they were the ones that were routinely beat up and scorned in their formative years causing their MFLishness…
Hey Phobos, maybe it’s something particularly anti-American about MSP that causes Hennepin and Ramsey county to single-handedly make all of Minnesota a blue state. Remember how not too long ago a batch of National Guardsmen were coming home and they detained one of them who happend to have the same name of some Joe Schmoe from a terror watch list? Good for you for taking it to the screener. My passport? Show me your passport first! Like Rush said today, box cutters and hair gel don’t hijack planes, terrorists do. The same de-emphasis on personal responsibility that blames crimes on guns and not criminals is at work here, part of a larger liberal agenda. And for the record, I stand firmly against any of the nice things “ussjimmycarter” said about the Canadians. Other than throwing down some excellent ska music these days, the only other thing they’re good for is clogging up our mall parking lots.
Anyway, I wanted to say that “Gun Nut” assessed the solution to the airline security problem better than I’ve ever heard anyone do:
I agree with Gun Nut as well. But I usually do. That fella has some damned good ideas.
And MFL is still a douchebag.