On June 30th, 2004, I predicted that Air America would be dead & gone by February of 2005. I was off by 19 months, and I apologize for my inaccuracy.
Nevertheless, I here re-publish the list of potential excuses Air America will use to explain its failure. We’ll see if I’m at least right about these:
- Contract with Satan guaranteeing Air America’s success found invalid due to not being signed in blood.
- Al Franken’s thick glasses kept accidentally setting the studio on fire.
- Randi Rhodes didn’t talk about her nipples enough.
- Too much money wasted on salaries, not enought spent on bribes to Clear Channel executives.
- Rush Limbaugh depleted the nation’s supply of Oxycontin, so not enough was available to make Air America’s hosts witty and insightful.
- Digital brownshirts kept smashing people’s radios
- Al Franken is Jewish, so Bushitler had him gassed.
- The fact that Al Franken is still alive does NOT disprove this theory.
- Air America staff constantly attacked by vicious hordes of rats and cockroaches, who, apparently, didn’t appreciate the competition.
- The Air America signal simply wouldn’t carry. Not surprising, since vibrations in the electomagnetic spectrum tend to vote Republican.
- Nobody was buying commerical spots. Even a NAMBLA spokesman was quoted as saying “we don’t want our reputation soiled by these degenerates”.
- Air America had to shut down because of the McCain-Feingold campaign finance laws, which expressly forbid such things as speaking in direct support of a candidate, or speaking at all if you’re dumber than a bucket of monkey dung.
- Although Al Franken created a lot of great material, he would often flush the toilet before it could be retrieved.
So… which one do you think they’ll use?
Dont’ know if they will use it…but is the most applicable….*Air America staff constantly attacked by vicious hordes of rats and cockroaches, who, apparently, didn’t appreciate the competition.
McCain-Feingold campaign finance laws, which expressly forbid such things as speaking in direct support of a candidate, or speaking at all if you’re dumber than a bucket of monkey dung.
I think that you have a word wrong there. The McCain-Feingold campaign laws expressly forbid speaking at all unless you’re dumber than a bucket of monkey dung, at least around here.
Brilliant! This is why I come here. Some funny shit right there.
It’s all Bush’s fault. One moonbat has suggested that the government is “funding” right-wing talk radio. Idiot. I guess it doesn’t bother said idiot moonbat that the government really IS funding PBS.
Wait…is idiot moonbat redundant?
Their Boys and Girls Club of America funding got cut off when Vito’s kid in New Jersey got injured in a jump rope incident. (that’s a really lame Mafia reference, I apologize)
They’ll probably go for a combo: digital brownshirts, nipples, vermin.
One thing is certain, the “bankruptcy” talk is a smokescreen. Al Queda still has plenty of cash.
Actually according to an article I saw today they are using denial.
Air America: Layoffs, But No Bankruptcy Plans
(AP) New York, N.Y. Financially strapped Air America Radio, after star commentator Al Franken said his paycheck had stopped coming, acknowledged Thursday that it had laid off a few employees but insisted it has no plans to declare bankruptcy.
“If Air America had filed for bankruptcy every time someone rumored it to be doing so, we would have ceased to exist long ago,” Jaime Horn, a spokeswoman for the liberal talk show network, said in a statement. “It may be frustrating to some that it hasn’t happened.”
WCCO.com
I read last night that the reason they are going out of business is that Libs are too smart, sophisticated and nuanced to tune into to such an inferior product. (talk radio)
Reality: Since they
Can’t stay on task
Can’t speak without attacking someone
Can’t create a sentence without an obscenity
Can’t reason logically
and
Don’t have a point, except the ones on their heads
…. they really didn’t have a chance.
Besides Al Frankin is a short, ugly moron.
They’re being replaced by EWTN here in Dallas! That is so sweet!
When everyone discovered that Janeanne Garofalo was the only employee answering the Air America Phone Sex Line, the listeners all decided to do their homework instead.